Bobnap chapter 4: Inside Rogue's Mind

[Rogue]

She can feel Josh trying to get in her mind, and feel her mind repelling him automatically. It’s like the blocks in place aren’t obeying her, as she tries to take them down and let him in. Then, finally, he’s in, and she’s dragged along to…wherever this is.

It’s in her mind, obviously. And kinda dark, so that’s…unnerving. So…where’s Josh?

"Rogue? You here?" That’s his voice, and it sounds all at once everywhere, but right beside her, but nowhere. It’s odd, and she glances around, trying to spot him in the blueish shadows around her.

“Yeah, I’m here…” she calls back, “Not sure where, but…I can hear ya.”

The scene starts to fade in in blurry, shadowed outlines. It looks…like the hall in the mansion. And students are running past, now, and …this is when the mansion was attacked? Before Alkali Lake? Yeah, ‘cause that’s her, Bobby, and John running, over there. Her eyes are adjusting – weird, how that works, even in her mind. Having to ajust to the dark. Technically, it being her mind, she should be able to just…create light. But she can’t, and doesn’t know how, so she doesn’t try.

But now that she can see better, she can see Josh. He’s not far off, and she moves over to stand nearby quickly.

“Looks like we picked an interestin’ place t’pop in at, huh?”

[Pyro]

John considers shooting back an indignant ‘I’m not’ before realizing that not even his powers of self-deception extend that far, and instead opts for ”It’s kinda hard to stop breathing” before remembering that this Bobby won’t get the reference since he predates that *date* and can’t possibly leech the information from Rogue - who, John’s rapidly learning, is the only source of information he trusts… and for some reason that stings far more than it should, though getting mad at the nearest thing this place has to God feels sort of futile (and maybe that’s why it’s so awkward and alien here (aside from the whole *copy of a copy* thing of course) because he’s not used to there being any sort of God he can believe in, and here there’s no way to escape Her reality… and while in anyone else that might lead to some weird sort of devotion he’s torn between refusing to believe in her omnipotence - because it’s Rogue for crissakes – and a weird sort of hostility because she’s the best person to blame for how fucked up everything is).

He’s not running though, is he? He’s just… doing the metaphysical equivalent of sticking his fingers in his ears and going *lalala… can’t hear you* (which is somehow a whole lot better, huh?)… because if the him out there has done something bad he’d rather not know about it. It’s easier not to have to hate himself, to not know how much of a bastard the *real* him is… because if they’re that different it only highlights how unreal he and what he thinks he’s feeling really are. Which is where the second half of his reply comes in; ”Besides, it’s not like you have a monopoly on avoiding ugly truths, Drake”

There's a shift in Rogue's presence - as if she's localising and distilling, becoming more Marie than God - but he decides to ignore that along with everything else about this. It's easier that way.

[Bobby Drake]

> " So, howcum you're running, then?"
> " It’s kinda hard to stop breathing. Besides, it’s not like you have a monopoly on avoiding ugly truths, Drake "

The answer hardly makes any sense at all, but something warns Bobby not to push the issue further. It’s a precarious existence, being a ghost in Marie’s mind… too many things just at the edge of one’s awareness that one really doesn’t want to know.

He remembers how she used to talk about having nightmares, when the ‘psykes’ were acting up; he supposes he’s the source of some of them now. But he’d never imagined, back when he was outside, that the psykes were having nightmares of their own, constantly afraid of losing their separate identities by taking too much of her mind into their own.

Or maybe it’s just him.

Anyway, that’s not important now. If John is trying to escape from Marie’s attention, whatever his rationale for it, that’s reason enough for Bobby to want to know what’s going on. And just like that, he’s not in the rainy Bayou anymore, but in the Institute’s medlab, watching Warren perched over Josh’s bruised and battered body and “remembering” everything Rogue experienced that led to this point. John did that to Josh? And Warren and Josh… geez, what the heck’s gotten into the water supply? And… oh. The Brotherhood. And rescuing me. Right. Well, that explains that. And that means John hiding from Marie in here could get Bobby – the real Bobby, out there – killed.

The irony is that Bobby’s pretty sure John doesn’t actually know that… or at least doesn’t know he knows it. That explains the whole “avoiding ugly truths” comment, too. He just doesn’t want to think about it, and in here where everything is a thought that means he’s got to be somewhere else. But he’s going to have to, like it or not.

Bobby prepares himself for the trip up into Marie’s consciousness, to talk to her directly. He doesn’t do this very often... it makes him feel too weird, especially when real-world Bobby is out there talking to her, too. But it’s easier to coordinate that way. He looks around her memory of the medlab until he spots a reflection of herself, and reaches out to that reflection to take him to her. (It had taken him a long time to learn the knack of navigating in here, the way every memory and thought and symbol is linked to everything else. It’s not really a place, it’s more like a database.)

This time it’s different, though. Instead of moving out of her memories, he finds himself in yet another one… the Mansion as it’s being invaded by the army. He was around for this one, so he ought to see – yup, there’s Marie and John and Bobby, running like the scared kids they were, right on schedule. But why did he end up here when he was trying to reach Marie?

> " Looks like we picked an interestin’ place t’pop in at, huh?"

He turns at the voice, surprised to see Marie again, with Josh… a second memory overlaid on the first? He’d never seen that before. Besides, there was something different about her… like she wasn’t really a memory, like…"You’re really you, aren’t you?" he blurts out, knowing somehow that she really is.

But how is that even possible? How can she be here, like this, when she's the whole universe? It doesn't make any sense. For she so loved her mind that she sent her only begotten – no, stop that. Josh is here too, and he’s a telepath… maybe that’s why. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.

"Bet you’re looking for John, huh? I can probably find him if you want."

[Rogue]

Her eyes are definitely adjusted, now, and she’s trying to figure out how to find John – she can feel him, like she can feel them all. They’re there, somewhere nearby, but at the same time, they seem…out of reach.

Except Bobby, suddenly. He’s …closer than the others...

"You’re really you, aren’t you?"

She looks over quickly, and he’s standing right there. Oh, that would be why his ‘presence’ is closer than the others’, then. She tosses him a smile of greeting, and nods slightly. "Hey, sugah. Yeah, s'me."

"Bet you're looking for John, huh? I can probably find him if you want."

She nods, and smiles again. Of course he’d be helpful – he’s always helpful, and one of the quieter ones. Besides, he undoubtedly knows what’s at risk. They always seem to know things, when it’s important. Or, most of them, anyway.

"Yeah, we need 'is help... Thanks, Bobby."

Considering that it’s her own mind, she should very well know how to get around in here. But she doesn’t spend time here, so to speak, and it’s more complex than it has any right to be, and…yeah, he’ll definitely be a help.

“Mind takin’ us with? Or, at leas’ lettin’ us follow? I’m not totally sure how t’get…anywhere, right now.”

Yeah, there’s definetly some embarrassment in her tone, because she shouldn’t need help getting around in here, or finding John, or any of that. It’s her mind. But she can’t help it. She’ll worry about the appearances of normality and being in-charge later – right now, it’s more important to get their little “mission” done.

[Bobby Drake]

> " Yeah, we need 'is help... Thanks, Bobby. Mind takin’ us with? Or, at leas’ lettin’ us follow? I’m not totally sure how t’get…anywhere, right now."

Bobby nods and grins. " Sure. I don’t think he wants to be found right now, but I bet I can find him." He realizes he’s practically wagging his tail like an eager spaniel, but he can’t help it – actually seeing Marie like this, like she was a person again instead of some transcendent world-spirit, is just too exciting.

"It’s so great to see you! I didn’t even know you could, you know, ‘visit’ like this!" He reaches out to hug her, then hesitates when he remembers her powers came back – that’s how he got in here in the first place, after all – and then looks confused. Do her powers work on him in here? And would she want him to touch her anymore, anyway? He knows the real-world him isn’t dating Marie anymore, but that shouldn’t matter… except it’s all so complicated he doesn’t really know what’s OK anymore.

It takes him a minute to realize that the Josh standing next to her is real, too – in an X-Man uniform, no less. He indicates the uniform. " So you finally made it, huh? Congratulations – no way they were going to overlook you forever."

In fact, now that he pays attention to it, Josh is… weird. Like Marie is, but different… and different from the other “psykes,” too. Like they’re not entirely here. Which makes sense for Marie, since she’s also everywhere else, but it’s strange for Josh… unless it has something to do with him being a telepath? Bobby shrugs, letting it go.

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

Josh nods at Rogue as she indicates the memory they dropped into. He'd been hoping on finding something a little more... mundane. And, you know. With fewer assault rifles. The problem was, though, that he and John hadn't been in very many of Rogue's memories as of late. They were lucky he'd found this one. It had been at the surface... maybe she'd dreamed about it lately?

Bobby appears, which gives him a start. It's not the real Bobby... he's... Josh feels a thread of hopelessness begin to wrap itself around his heart.

> So you finally made it, huh? Congratulations – no way they were going to overlook you forever.

"Thanks, Bobby. You were there, actually. Couldn't have done it without you. I mean... well..." He gives up after a moment of stumbling and just settles for a smile and a shrug. "You know what I mean."

After a moment, they hear gunfire. Pete and memory-Josh whip through where they're standing in the hall, the former turning into Colossus before their eyes. This is... weird.

"You know, I've done this with Warren before, and Jake taught me the technique. But honestly, Rogue, your mind is like no one's I've ever been in." Josh grins a little at that, and then he turns to Bobby.

"Ever seen me wandering around in here? I made contact with Rogue's skin during a Danger Room session last year. There's got to be a little Josh bumping around somewhere..." The thought gave him a funny feeling inside.

[Rogue]

"Sure. I don’t think he wants to be found right now, but I bet I can find him."

He seems so happy and willing to help. It’s nice – he reminds her of the Bobby the real one used to be, before all the craziness of him starting to change and get all moody and everything. And, yeah, she’ll admit that she missed that.

“Thanks, sugah.”

"It’s so great to see you! I didn’t even know you could, you know, ‘visit’ like this!"

She smiles, and nods slightly, “Yeah, jus’ can’t get here without help.” She nods in Josh’s direction at this.

She knew she could, she just hadn’t been able to do it herself. Annoying that she couldn’t just pop in like this easier – without being unconscious or assisted by a telepath. Maybe that was part of her problem? Hard to say, since just about everything seemed to be linked together, “problem”-wise.

Bobby starts to hug her, then he seems to pause, and look …lost. She offers a smile, and hugs him, because…there’s no reason she shouldn’t. It’s not like she’d never hug him if they weren’t dating in reality, so whatever.

She grins slightly as they talk about Josh’s joining the team, but doesn’t respond, taking the moment to look around them. The memory is…almost transparent, in sections, yet there’s nothing behind it – it’s just there, but not, at the same time. Impossible to describe, even in her thoughts.

She reaches out, and touches the wall nearby gently – and it’s solid, but yet reminds her of a spiderweb or something – solid, but almost intangible. She could break it down with just a push, she somehow just knows that.

Would that be a bad thing? Would it change the memory? Remove it completely?

She doesn’t know, and she’s sure she doesn’t want to find out the wrong way, so she withdraws her hand quickly.

"You know, I've done this with Warren before, and Jake taught me the technique. But honestly, Rogue, your mind is like no one's I've ever been in."

“Thanks, I think.” she responds with a grin. And, yeah, she’s going to take that as a compliment, for now, because…well, nothing bad’s happened – yet – so he can’t mean it in a bad way, right?

[Bobby Drake]

Bobby is vaguely aware that the burst of toe-curling warmth he feels at Marie’s hug is both more obvious in this environment than it would be “back home” and largely inappropriate. He knows it’s just a friendly gesture; he knows real-Bobby broke up with her after her powers came back, even if he doesn’t really understand why. He doesn’t care… it just feels good to be able to hold her again, to be able to do something for her again. "Any time, hon… just ask. You know where I live, after all. "

> " Thanks, Bobby. You were there, actually. Couldn't have done it without you. I mean... well… you know what I mean."

Bobby nods and shrugs. " That’s why we’re a team, right? All for one, and all that. Besides, I’ll owe you one once you get me out of prison. I mean, the real-world me, not… well, you know what I mean. " He laughs. " Man this is weird, talking to the real you. It’s cool, though."

> " There's got to be a little Josh bumping around somewhere..."

"Really? Heh… no, I haven’t met you in here. Though now that you mention it, you have popped up in memories I wouldn’t have expected to see you in. I didn’t think much of it… people and places are weird in here sometimes." Bobby frowns thoughtfully, wondering why Josh’s “psyke” hadn’t introduced himself when Bobby arrived.

"Maybe you could talk yourself into saying ‘hi’ some time… you’d be better company than most of the ghosts in here. Especially all the noobs who showed up after your little Halloween surprise… they just don’t seem to wanna get with the program, you know?"

He turns back to Marie. "Actually, about that… do you think maybe you could talk to them, as long as you’re, um, here? I mean, after we find John. They’d have to listen to you, right? I mean, you being the, um, you being in charge around here and everything. Maybe you could preach them a little sermon or something? " He ducks his head embarrassed – he hadn’t intended to let this conversation go there – and hastily carries on. "They just keep bumbling around demanding that someone send them back home, and they won’t listen when we tell them they never left home. They still think they’re them, you know? "

He sighs and shakes his head. The truth is, he sympathizes with the noobs… there are days even he forgets that the real Bobby is the one out there in the world.

"Anyway, first things first. Finding John… follow me, then?"

It’s odd, having to help guide Marie through her own mind so she can learn something that she already knows, but Bobby can understand the problem. Everyone’s had the experience of trying to remember something that stubbornly refuses to be remembered, after all… this is just an extreme version of that, from a weird perspective.

"The trick to getting where you want to go around here is remembering there’s not really any such thing as “near” and “far”… there’s just “related”. So if you want to get to somewhere, or someone, you look for something connected to it and follow the links, y’see? So, here… ah. There we go."

Bobby doesn’t seem to move from any perspective other than his own… instead, time seems to reverse, the soldiers and Institute residents running backwards through the corridor until John is visible. " Okeydoke… then we take the left turn at Allerdyce…" he murmurs, and John’s image grows, as if the camera were zooming in on a close-up, faster and faster until he occupies everything in sight, then fades, and the threesome find themselves standing on what resembles a three-dimensional crossroads floating in space, with paths radiating out to numerous doorways. Bobby confidently travels the widest of these roads and slams hard into the doorway at the end of it, reeling dazed for a moment.

"Huh," he mumbles as he recovers. "Guess he really doesn’t want to be found."

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

> Maybe you could talk yourself into saying ‘hi’ some time…

"Yeah, I suppose the two of you just haven't bumped into each other? If I see him, I'll give him a talking-to. That is, after I calm him down about seeing his clone, or some such." Josh laughs. "Or I could intimidate him with my superior power control. He's over a year out of date!" He thinks for a second. "You're from before Jake showed up... right? Oh, man, Bobby. You wouldn't even recognize my telepathy anymore. I can do all sorts of stuff." He grins broadly.

Their trip through Rogue's mind to John's location is old hat for Josh. With Jake's training he's become more and more adept at that sort of manipulation himself.

> Guess he really doesn’t want to be found.

Josh looks amused. "I guess not. John's causing all sorts of trouble today..." His eyes cloud over briefly. "You should see what I look like right now in the real world, Bobby. My ribs hurt like hell."

"Anyway, this should be fairly simple to get through. Jake has set up some obstacle courses in my mind before..." He shakes his head at the utter ridiculousness of the sentence. "If you're sure he's through there, I can use my telekinesis and atomize it." Josh doesn't mention that it's not exactly his telekinesis that will be doing the work. Thinking of astral manipulation as a facet of his TK - when in reality, it's the telepathy - has made things much easier in the past.

[Rogue]

"Any time, hon… just ask. You know where I live, after all. "

Yeah, she’s sure that’s not supposed to sting as bad as it does – not because it’s offensive to her, per se, but because she hates the fact that he’s stuck in here – that they’re all stuck in here. If she could get them out without harming them, or herself, she would have long ago.

Not even Xavier had known how to do so without destroying the fragmented personalities, something she’d protested vehemently at his mere suggestion. They weren’t real, but they felt real, they acted real – they were real enough to her that the thought of killing them was unthinkable. She’d be able to overcome them easily – like the wall that reminded her of a spiderweb, she assumed, they’d be easy to simply…erase; they would be helpless.

“Yeah, I’ll keep tha’ in mind, sugah.” She grins, and she’s glad her tone and expression remain light, despite her momentary lapse into darker thoughts. Which she’s glad no one up here seems to pick up on right now, unlike in reality, when they seem to respond to her thoughts as if she was talking. Maybe because here her consciousness was separate – localized within a ‘body’, of sorts. Whatever the reason, it’s good.

“[…] They just keep bumbling around demanding that someone send them back home, and they won’t listen when we tell them they never left home. They still think they’re them, you know?”

She nods slightly. “Sure, I’ll d’my bes’…” she agrees. Which definitely would be a good idea, since it’s these “noobs” that have really been upping the noise level since their arrival – which is still somewhat foggy in her memory.

Anyway, first things first. Finding John… follow me, then?"

“Yep, lead the way.” She responds brightly – a little brighter than is probably needed, but whatever.

"The trick to getting where you want to go around here is remembering there’s not really any such thing as “near” and “far”… there’s just “related”. So if you want to get to somewhere, or someone, you look for something connected to it and follow the links, y’see? So, here… ah. There we go."

It makes sense, and she nods slightly, storing the information away for future use, in case she should need to get around in here again sometime. She’s sure she will – it’s her mind, after all, and with all the random problems she’s had, it’d come in handy to be able to sort them out herself, or at least with minimal help.

It’s weird, once he starts moving them, or whatever. It’s like John’s memory-fragment gets larger (or is it closer?), and then…they’re on a pathway? There’re several others around, but she doesn’t stray, following Bobby closely, because getting lost would be a bad thing, she’s sure.

Then he slams into a seemingly open doorway, as if there’s an invisible barrier in the way. She stops, confused, and looks from him to Josh, then back, wondering if they know what’s going on.

"Huh. Guess he really doesn’t want to be found."

John’s blocking them? How can he even do that? That…doesn’t make much sense, because John had no mental powers, and that seems like something he’s need to create something like that, something solid enough to send Bobby reeling when he tried to get through.

"I guess not. John's causing all sorts of trouble today..."

She resists the urge to protest that it’s not John, but Pyro that hurt Josh and kidnapped real!Bobby, because…it’s not like they’d really get it, right? Not the way she thinks of it, they wouldn’t, because, despite the fact that they both are/were friends with him, one way or another, they haven’t really seemed to understand him like she did. Does. Whatever.

Though at this moment, that ‘understanding’ doesn’t extend to why his psyke is hiding from her, instead of helping out.

“[…] If you're sure he's through there, I can use my telekinesis and atomize it."

And she’s not going to think about just how dangerous that makes it sound. Nope. Because she trusts him, and she’s sure it’d be harmless anyway. Entirely sure. Of course.

[Pyro]

It’s odd, the little tricks you pick up, hanging around in the mind... Odd too how much of the old *you* seems to linger in the psyke-copy. Both these things might go some way towards helping explain why, while Bobby had the arts of communicating with uber-Rogue and navigating her headspace down bat, John had gone in somewhat more for going largely unnoticed (except when it was useful, or amusing, to bug *Her*) and losing himself. Why right now, while Bobby was doing his Boy Scout routine, he was doing his level best to barricade himself inside some forgotten part of that wasteland in the back-woods of Rogue’s mind. It had hit him (or the earlier version of him at least) fairly early on that there were parts of it you couldn’t access, barriers which had been put in, and replicating them (or at least the ones that were her handiwork, because several others were sorta *different* in a way he didn’t understand but was obviously totally beyond him) had – … he waits for the thud which means he’s pulled this off and… yeah, there it is – been easy enough, though he had to admit he hadn’t expected them to hold *Her* off. The whole way she seems to be totally lost in here is weird… though as long as it keeps her back he’s not complaining, because outwitting Bobby he can handle.

Twisted Hide-And-Seek it is then. Not his choice, of course. It’s all Psyke!Bob’s fault for running off to help her (and he doesn’t like how petty and jealous he sounds… because obviously it doesn’t bug him that Psyke!Bobby’s still madly in love with Rogue… the way it really doesn’t bug him that neither of them followed him out of the jet, or that Bobby chose her and she chose him and no one ever gave a damn about the third wheel. Nope. No issues whatsoever) and making this far more complicated than it needs to be. Because it’s oh so very simple. He’s in here, and not out there, and therefore knows nothing. And doesn’t want need to know anything…

… aside from quite possibly where he is. It’s not a memory he’s been in before, either in *reality* or in any jaunt through here in the *not real*, and aside from that it’s one with plenty of Rogue!Barriers (because choosing a defensive position that’s strong to begin with is a good idea, right? That at least has sunk in to whatever rudimentary strategic skills John’s ended up with) he’s got… no idea. Nope. Totally lost.

[Toni Craft]

(OOC: Right...this should be interesting...)

Template paces, a scowl set deep into her face. Unlike the rest of the psyches, who are comparatively weak and powerless, she is strong, healthy, and especially angry. She has been trapped in this god forsaken pit for far longer than she cares to admit, held there by the other cursed minds circulating about.

She paces in long careless ovals, her feet hitting the cold floor with muted thuds. Template huffs and crosses her arms. Not that there was really a floor there, but rather it was a mental image being projected by the others. Alone, she knows she could bring each and every one of the other psyches down, but when they ban together...she gets thrown into these dreary places to churn and wallow. The moment she escapes--

"Now that's certainly an interesting turn of events..." Template murmurs to herself, stopping in the middle of her psychic pen.

Rogue was on the move, that much she can tell, but there was also something else going on...a few of the psyches were moving too.

She watches through narrowed eyes as the world around her molds and solidifies into some much more opaque....

A hall...something she's seen before, while mingling within Rogue's brief glimpses of memories. Something about a school? And there was a boyfriend thrown in there somewhere...he had been one of the ones to shove her into this hole. He'd be among the first to die...

But the scenery around her pulls her from her thoughts and she gazes up and down the hall. Template's powerful presence allows her to become aware of the flux in Rogue's mind, and she senses a new psyche enter.

Though...this one's different, she can feel it. Something about this one is powerful, and holds a promise she'd never had expected.

Freedom.

Her eyes narrowing with newfound determination, Template reaches out and brushes her fingers across the invisible barrier of her cage. A slow confident smirk stretches across her face. Rogue and the newcomer, she notices, upset the delicate balance in this spectral-like realm, causing the other weaker psyches to lose their control over her confinement.

She touches it again, reveling in the feeling of it wavering beneath her touch.

"Oh...this is going to be easy..." With her other hand she feels for the weak point in the clear wall; a point being maintained by a nearly powerless psyche. Maybe that metal giant...or perhaps that pretty, normal boy. Neither had any real power over her, which would surely work to her advantage.

But then she finds it. The human, it seems, was useless against her, especially while he is more concerned with the odd changes taking part in his host's mind.

With a devilish grin, Template slips by his hold unnoticed, and glorifies in the moment of liberty.

"Time to play..."

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

Psyche-Josh sits at the edge of the lake at the Institute, knees pulled up against his chest. For the last year, he’s secluded himself here, in the back of Rogue’s mind, in some of her earliest memories. For her safety - and for everyone else’s. Every so often he’s allowed himself to venture out into her conscious mind, but not for too long. Bad things could happen. He reminds himself whenever he starts to cry that it’s to keep Her safe, because without Her in control, the Other would take over.

Yet, it’s so very, very lonely here. A tear drips slowly down his cheek.

This is a version of Josh that’s freshly lost a loved one, his mentor, and the loss has twisted into his gut like screws. No Ororo to give him a hug and tell him things will look up. No Rogue, no Kitty, and especially no Bobby to distract him. He’s afraid of the latter; even though there’s a Bobby-psyche locked inside Her, with his lack of control something terrible might happen if he got too close. And no Warren, either - though this version of Josh never met him. Sometimes he’s totally blown away that his outside self is dating a boy. Mostly, though, he just wants someone to hug him. Anyone.

He’s figured things out, to some extent. Josh knows he’s not really real. One of the only things that keeps him going is knowing that his real self is outside and safe. And, of course, the job that all the psyches have - keep the Other from taking over. She’s a more recent addition, but is solidly in the Not A Good Thing category.

Josh pretty much lets the other psyches take care of her imprisonment. He constructed most of her prison, actually. That was an… unusual… amount of control for him. There are ups and downs… mostly downs, where his telepathy surges uncontrollably. If he got close to the construct surrounding the Other, it might disintegrate.

After some time, he hears a whisper in the back of his mind.

> Totally lost.

“Who’s there?” His voice sounds depressingly small, and he frantically tries to wipe the tears off his face.

[Pyro]

As the scene stops wavering, fades into whatever *reality* is here, John takes a second, better look around. He hadn’t know where he was *running*, had just made for somewhere *safe*. This – when it finally re-arranges itself into something recognizable – seems an odd choice, all things considered, though it’s perhaps better if he doesn’t question it incase that somehow damages whatever it is keeping Bobby and Co out. This – as far as a memory actually *is* anything, which is a debate he’d rather not get into – is the Institute, it seems…

Only… there’s something different, something almost *weird*. If he’d had the time or inclination to think about it he might have put it down to a shift in viewpoint, because you got used to Rogue-vision and stopped noticing it (then again, this being John, there’s a good chance nothing that sophisticated or insightful would come to mind) - as it is, he’s just going to add it to the list of things not worth thinking about, except that there’s something. It almost doesn’t feel like one of her memories… though that’s just stupid.

The difference becomes a little more worthy of consideration once he decides that no matter how stupid it is he’d rather not stick around here… because getting out seems to be, erm, a problem. Which he is resolutely not going to panic about (except that he is, he’s just going to hide it the way he usually does these things). It’s probably just… erm… okay, so he has no idea what it might or might not be, but it’s something stopping him moving on anywhere else. Because normally if you set off somewhere you get there. Here the only place he’s getting is further around Greymalkin Lake, and while sure, it’s picturesque and all, and he has plenty of faith in the various barriers keeping Bobby back, it’s just not somewhere he wants to end up trapped. There are parts of Rogue’s mind which are divided off like that, and probably psyches trapped inside them – Magneto, he knows, is for the most part kept locked up somewhere, and he saw what they did to Template when she tried to take over – and it’s not a fate he wants. Being a shade within shades sucks, but you get used to it, and some days it’s almost fun to wander around the past, or to poke at Rogue – not like being *alive*, of course (and he envies the newbies who are still convinced they’re the real thing) but… tolerable – whereas being denied any sort of contact with her or the other psyches would be…

< Who’s there?
Oh. So he’s not alone here.

John doesn’t know whether that should be reassuring or worrying. Maybe the reason he can’t get out is that whoever this is needs to be kept in? And even if they’re a *safe* psyche there’s the chance they’re one of the ones who’ve ended up worshipping Her, which would be bad given that he’s committing a million sorts of heresy hiding like this… He’s not quite sure what he’s expecting, but it’s definitely not what he finds after the few moments it takes to recognize the other inhabiting this space. ”Josh?”

It’s beyond presumptuous to expect that he should know everything about Rogue’s mind and its various inhabitants. But he’d have thought a Josh-Psyke would not have escaped his attention. Then again, this isn’t quite the Josh he *remembers*, but something altogether more… broken is the word which springs to mind. It would probably make a lot more sense if there was a date stamp or something… sure, that would solve a lot of problems in here (and is a totally unrelated and random sideline, he pokes himself, not something he can afford to waste time considering… a directive which pretty much covers everything other than keep them out, keep self safe at the moment).

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

> Josh?

The side of Josh that fears loss of control wars with the side that's desperately in need of some sort of human contact. A small voice in the back of his head reminds him that neither of them are actually human, but simply modeled after humans... but he squashes it firmly.

Josh wipes at the remaining liquid on his face, trying not to look like he's just been crying, oblivious to the fact that it's plainly obvious. "John? What are you doing back here?" Nobody else ever makes it this far in. He's not sure whether to be happy or worried.

His selfish side wins out. Josh gets up from his sitting position next to the lake. It's been quite some time since he's even seen another psyche. "You have no idea how good it is to see you. It gets so lonely here..." He swallows hard.

Despite how unreal it seems for his true self to be dating that guy with the wings, out in the real world, psyche-Josh is terribly jealous of him. After avoiding others out of fear for so long, curling up and falling asleep with someone warm who cared about you sounded like just about the best thing there ever was.