Josh + Bobby's Room

[Bobby Drake]

> "When you say take a number, do you mean in general, or are you thinking of someone in particular?"

Bobby smirks. "Well, I don't know... if I name names, will they suddenly turn up missing tomorrow morning? I'd hate to be accused of aiding and abetting here..." He chuckles, clearly joking, and adds more seriously. "No, nobody in particular, though the winged wonder sure does turn a lot of heads around here. Mostly girls' heads, far as I've noticed, but there's a first time for everything, I guess."

Bobby hesitates before continuing, but eventually shrugs and turns his laptop on. "The thing is, though... well, I'm not trying to rain on your parade or nothing, but word on the Web is birdboy is, um, pretty active on the club scene, if you know what I mean?"

Somewhat hesitantly, he wakes his laptop up and clicks the bookmark for mutanttrackers.com, a site full of news clippings, photos, and member posts of known and suspected mutants and where they've been spotted doing what and types "Worthington" into the search buffer, bringing up several dozen hits including a lot of cell-phone-camera-quality photos of Warren making out with miscellaneous people at parties.

"Of course, it's the Web... they might be fakes." He shrugs, the tone of his voice making it clear he doesn't think that's likely.

> "What about you?"

Bobby looks poleaxed by the question. How did I not see that coming? He's silent for a long time, staring at his bare feet as if he'd written crib notes there.

"Well... me and Marie, you know, did some stuff while she was depowered. Cuddling and kissing and stuff. But, you know, no getting naked in the showers or anything like that. And, um... well, I, um, kinda..." ...humped Pyro's leg like a neurotic poodle in a burned-out bar just before he tried to kill me, he doesn't say, though he can't help an embarassed glance in the direction of his laundry hamper or a hand rubbing the small blood-clot on the base of his neck.

That doesn't really count, does it?, he asks himself rhetorically. It was more like a fight thing. It occurs to Bobby that it's not a good sign when the little voice in the back of your head just glares silently at you and doesn't say a word. He trails off into embarassed silence, feeling his cheeks flush hot enough he suspects they'd melt his armor off if he were armored.

"Um, hey, you were asking about codenames, before. Whatcha think about 'Impact'?"

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

Josh watches as Bobby navigates to the mutant site, and winces at the blurry shots of Warren. Wow. I guess us Institute kids don’t get out as much as Warren does. I’m so stupid - I wonder if he takes everyone flying like that? Way to go, Josh.

“I…. didn’t realize Warren was as popular as all that.” He tries to give a smile to Bobby, but it falls completely flat.

>"Um, hey, you were asking about codenames, before. Whatcha think about 'Impact'?"

The first happy thought in what seems like an eternity, Josh locks onto Bobby’s last words. “Impact, hm? Not bad, Bobby. I haven’t put any serious thought into it, but that’s at the top of the list so far.” Impact? Nice one. That’s a better than anything else I've come up with. He thinks of 'Marvel Boy'. It's better than Marvel Girl, anyway. God, how could she have stomached that? Did Scott tell her it was cute or something? He shakes his head.

A stray thought bumps its way back into Josh’s head. “Hey, and you ‘well, um, kinda’ did what?” He narrows his eyes, and the lock clicks shut on the door. “No escaping, Bobby. Not after suggesting I put a tie on the door when Warren and I are “busy”.” His eyes soften. “I’m not going to laugh or something. I mean, jeez. If you’ve gone farther than I have, that’s great.”

[Bobby Drake]

> "I... didn’t realize Warren was as popular as all that."

Bobby turns away from the screen to face Josh, and his glib comeback dies on his lips when he sees the other boy's face. He's never seen anyone look like that, but he has an uneasy feeling that he knows exactly what the inside of that face feels like.

"Oh, man... I didn't realize it was like that. Jeez. I'm sorry, man." He stares at his feet again, then adds in a lighter tone: "That's gotta be a record, doesn't it? Zero to asshole in, what, five minutes?" He grins, then bites his lip at the pathetic excuse for a smile he gets in response.

"Right. Um. Well," he closes the browser, "I can promise never to show you angel_dungeon.com? Kidding, kidding, kidding."

Bobby feels a little better when his codename suggestion gets a little bit of a happy-face. Then his heart drops into his trousers (which he isn't even wearing!) when Josh remembers their earlier conversation and locks the door.

> Hey, and you ‘well, um, kinda’ did what?

Bobby closes his eyes slowly, realizing he both doesn't want to answer this question and doesn't want to avoid it. It's like one of those Danger Room moments where you know exactly what you need to do to win, but aren't sure if you've got the stones to do it.

Which he does, and isn't.

"Well, I..." it occurs to Bobby that Josh is a telepath and could just lift the memories out of his head... which would be horribly embarassing but at least would mean he didn't have to say anything... but then he remembers Josh isn't actually that good a telepath. Damn.

"That is, I, kinda..." on the other hand, the new headmaster's a good telepath and wow, that was such an incredibly bad idea it should win some kind of award. Though Bobby really ought to get around to talking to the guy about the Brotherhood being back in action, and the stuff that went on in the Mutant Detention Centers, and NOT get around to mentioning how he's been humping the enemy.

"Um... I, well, um..." Bobby is looking everywhere in the room except Josh's face. At first, anyway. After a while he's looking everywhere in the room except Josh's face, his laptop, his laundry hamper, his own lap, his right ankle, Josh's bed, and Bobby's bed. He wonders whether, if he keeps this up long enough, he'll have to walk around blindfolded.

"I, um, kinda did... John."

It occurs to Bobby that in all those tedious after-school specials about coming out to your friends and stuff, there's always this riff about how freeing and liberating and stuff it is. He wants to go find the writers and stuff the sharpest shards of ice he can manage down their throats. It's liberating all right, the way falling out of an airplane is liberating... no control, no ground under your feet, no choices worth making, nothing to fear but the long fall and the sudden stop.

"Like... last week."

He finally looks Josh in the face and waits for impact.

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

A snort escapes Josh. Warren having a porn site? It’s enough to make him start laughing, which distracts him from all that heavy business. Snakes on a Plane! With Bobby and Warren - mindless drivel was exactly what they all needed. Tonight is going to be great.

On the other hand, he’s interested in what Bobby has to say - what did he and Marie do, exactly? He waits while Bobby collects his scattered thoughts - nothing new, lately.

And he finally does. And… what the fuck?

Josh’s mouth drops quite possibly farther than it did when Bobby suggested sexcapades on his and Warren’s part. He… did… John? Was John even still alive? Did Josh even care if he was? All John ever did for the X-Men was be snippy, abandon the team, and become some kind of mutant terrorist! Last he’d heard, Bobby had totally schooled him on Alcatraz. And wasn’t that like… “fraternizing with the enemy?” Mental images come pouring into Josh’s brain at that thought, and he holds both hands against his forehead to keep them at bay. Aaack!

“Bobby? You had sex with JOHN? Last WEEK?” He stands up, and the room seems to shake as books, clothing, and other junk begins spasming on the floor. “You show me pictures of Warren making out with random people, like that’s some kind of high crime, when you did it with John last WEEK? At least they’re not completely wacko ex-teammates! Do you know how that makes me feel right now? Were you planning on telling me this?” And am I channelling Jubilee? The lamp’s bulb shatters.

If Bobby…. and John…. you know…. is Bobby… what about Marie? I think my head just might explode. Josh sits back down and looks at Bobby in disbelief, then starts shaking his head. “Are we for real? I mean, is this some kind of show on the WB?”

[Bobby Drake]

Bobby cringes at the first shout, then slowly crumples into himself during the rest of Josh's tirade.

He wonders how many people are listening to this... the dorm walls are nominally soundproof, but the way Josh is shouting and shaking the walls and trashing the furniture is bound to attract notice, isn't it? Well, maybe Bobby's lucky and Magneto is invading the graveyard or something like that right now, distracting everyone's attention.

He wants to get angry and shout back. Certainly, the opportunity's there... Josh was the one who'd freaked out at the pictures, and anyway when did Bobby's sex life become about Josh? Except, no, that's really not the right question, and on second thought maybe getting mad right now ever again would be a bad idea.

> "Were you planning on telling me this?"

And that's really the last straw. Bobby gets up again, grabs his towel, tries not to cut his feet on the light-bulb shards as he walks stiffly to the door, not letting Josh see his face.

"Yeah, Josh. You were the first person I was gonna tell, because I knew you'd be so fucking understanding. Now will you unlock the damn door and let me take my damn shower?" He waits a second and adds "Alone, if that's OK with you?"

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

Josh is still kind of shocked, and realizes that he knocked things around quite a bit. I have to watch it when I get mad…

>"Yeah, Josh. You were the first person I was gonna tell, because I knew you'd be so fucking understanding. Now will you unlock the damn door and let me take my damn shower?"

“Bobby? I’m sorry. This is just a lot of… stuff, all at once.” He waves a hand at the door, unlocking it. In the time the two of them had been roommates, they’d had a couple of what he would call “disagreements”, but that had mostly to do with Bobby’s astonishing lack of tact post-Alcatraz. I’ve really put my foot into it now.

>"Alone, if that's OK with you?"

Josh inwardly realizes how good of a retort that was, but is slightly offended nonetheless. “Jesus, Bobby! It’s just hard pouring your heart out to you best friend and then realizing he hasn’t been telling you quite the entire story.” Josh swallows. “I’m really sorry for getting so mad. I was just so worried this afternoon what I was supposed so say about Warren to you, and then finding out you’re…. kinda… in the same situation made me feel better - until I realized you were gonna leave without telling me.” It all comes out in rush.

“I can’t be mad at you, Bobbs. But I’ve gotta ask - do you have a thing for John, or is this some kind of weird psychological thing?” He looks up hesitantly. Betrayals and alliances did freaky things to people. Maybe comparing them to bad tv wasn’t that far off.

[Bobby Drake]

> "But I’ve gotta ask - do you have a thing for John, or is this some kind of weird psychological thing?"

"Are those supposed to be mutually exclusive options?" he spits back without thinking. Which, he realizes suddenly, gave away far more than he'd intended to admit to himself, let alone Josh.

That's the thing about saying things out loud... you can't take them back later. John had the right idea... pick a story and stick to it, no matter what. It's easier to ignore facts. Even if they do have a way of turning around and biting you in, no, he's not going to finish that sentence.

He really should just walk out and take his shower. But that would involve finding the doorknob, which would involve opening his eyes, which would involve admitting that he's actually crying, which he's not prepared to do. So he stands there.

And keeps talking, because that seems to be what he does when it hurts, and he suddenly empathizes with the dam from the Alkali Lake simulation, because that's exactly how he feels as the words pour out.

"I'm not planning on inviting him to double-date with you and Warren at the movies, if that's what you mean. And he tried to slit my throat afterwards, and it's not like I have a lot of post-coital experience, or, well, any, actually, but that definitely qualifies as 'weird' to me. Though Marie put me in the infirmary for days the last time I touched her, so maybe it isn't weird at all, maybe that's just how it works for me. How the hell should I know, Josh? Nobody issued me the fucking user guide, I'm just trying--"

He stops, not because he's run out of words, but because he's running out of breath to stamp them onto, and he can't seem to take a new one, and the words keep coming.

"...just trying to get through the damn day, here, without..." He crumples against the doorframe, managing to stay on his feet... he's passed out too many times around Josh lately, he's not going to do that again, and he really is afraid he might be choking to death, his throat has closed up like he's underwater, or like someone'd punched him in the solar plexus, and all the words he can't say are piling up in his lungs and burning.

"...without... oh, Christ, Josh..." And all at once the breath does come, a great gasp as the last of the retaining walls give way, and they aren't words anymore, just an inarticulate wail pouring out of him.

He does collapse then, sliding to the carpet along the doorframe until he's curled up in a ball against the wall, sobbing and gasping for air, and he wishes he had passed out because then he wouldn't be there to watch it happen.

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

>"Are those supposed to be mutually exclusive options?"

Suddenly Josh wishes Professor Xavier was there. Besides being able to dive into Bobby’s wacked out confused head, he did have a doctoral degree in psychology, plus like…. 3 other subjects, right? He’d know the right thing to say. Josh wasn’t exactly sure what the diplomatic answer was. Hell, was there an answer? John didn’t really seem like the kind of guy to suddenly have the scales fall from his eyes, return to the Institute, graduate, and throw his terrorist ways to the four winds. Plus there’s that whole Magneto thing… Josh rips his mind from thought.

>"I'm not planning on inviting him to double-date with you and Warren at the movies, if that's what you mean […] I'm just trying..”

Josh tries to imagine the four of them together at the movies. As hard as he tries, he can’t quite get John to put his arm over Bobby’s shoulder. It’s like being in a dream when you realize it’s a dream, and that you should be able to make things go how you want, yet that little part of your subconscious is cackling and saying that the ride’s not quite finished yet. However, he doesn’t need anything so eloquent, as Bobby is currently sinking towards the ground - what? - and has burst into tears.

>"...without... oh, Christ, Josh..."

“Bobby! It’s gonna be fine.” Josh says this as he dives over to the door to pick him up before he hurts himself. He’s pretty unsuccessful, and ends up scooping a fetal Bobby off the floor. He concentrates and the lock clicks again. One awkward walk-in per day is the maximum.

He lifts Bobby onto the bed clumsily, and hugs him tightly. “Bobbs… don’t check out on me. We’re totally fucked up, but it’s okay. We’re fucked up together. And we still have to go see Snakes, okay?” He tries to peer into Bobby’s eyes, and attempts to brush away the tears. It’s tough going, because they keep coming.

He keeps hugging Bobby, rocking him a little. What do I say? Most crazy pyromaniacs have to settle down at some point, right? You’ll just have to wait out the serial killer and axe-murderer stages. Josh shakes his head. “Bobby… it’s okay to be upset. You’ve been through a lot in the past few months.”

[Bobby Drake]

I really have to stop doing this, Bobby thinks, curling up on Josh's lap as if he really believes he can fit, clutching the other boy fitfully around the waist.

Which is pathetic, he realizes, but there's just something comforting about being held. Well, about being held by Josh, anyway, looking into his eyes and -- no, no, no, no, no. Bad enough he's pissing off Marie and is avoiding Kitty and, and, and has some kind of weird psychological thing for a guy who tried to kill him twice (that is, some absurd part of his mind clarifies, tried twice to kill him, not tried to kill him twice... around Xavier's it's important to distinguish those), he is not going down this road again.

Not.

It occurs to him after a while that he hasn't actually moved. He's pretty sure he meant to. At least he seems to have stopped sniffling like a six-year-old... that's something. If he's going to be pathetic he can at least act pathetically his age.

> "Bobby… it’s okay to be upset. You’ve been through a lot in the past few months."

Right, Josh, he thinks, not quite sure if he's thinking "out loud" or not. Except for how you've been through pretty much all the same crap or worse and you're like a rock. He flinches at his own mental choice of words. Emotionally! Jesus, Drake, what is wrong with you?

"Yeah," he mumbles, drying his face on his robe. "The thing is, everybody here's been through a lot, and they aren't falling apart at the seams. Well, OK, maybe Jubilee, but nobody else." He chuckles a little, tentatively. It was a lame joke, granted, but it was a joke, and he seems to be breathing more easily. Eventually, he lets go and pulls himself off of Josh's lap, sitting crosslegged on the bed.

"Anyway. Thanks, for... for everything, man. I owe you." He hates to admit it, but the damned after-school specials were right... he really does feel better now that someone else knows. "And, um... I really ought to take that shower now, if we aren't going to miss Snakes."

After an implausibly long pause, he gets up and walks over to the door, tries it, waits for Josh to unlock it, steps into the hall. Without turning, he adds impulsively over his shoulder. "But, um... well, it doesn't have to be alone."

Closing the door behind him he makes his way to the showers.

[Josh Dalton Worthington]

..and you're like a rock.

Josh catches his general meaning. Maybe his telepathy IS getting better. <Maybe so. But you’ve actually been there for everything. You made a stand at Alcatraz, not me. I sat up the whole night and prayed that you came back alive. There’s a difference, Bobby. Today’s taught me that I can’t change the past - but we still feel the effects of it today.> He telekinetically ruffles Bobby’s hair.

“No prob, Bobbs. Anytime.” He watches Bobby leave for the door -

>"But, um... well, it doesn't have to be alone."

Josh catches the mental comment when Bobby’s already in the hall.

<I took one while you were in la-la land. Maybe that’s incentive to stay conscious at the conclusion of Danger Room scenarios…> He grins and begins reserving tickets.

[Bobby Drake]

(( OOC: End thread, picks up in Snakes on a Plane ))