Post by Laurie Collins on May 14, 2007 18:35:22 GMT
“Is it a worm?”
Laurie is seriously considering whacking her mother over the head with the wrapped package currently under question in hopes of inducing amnesia.
“Mo-om ” she whines, stretching the word to two syllables and rolling her eyes, “I was four.”
“Aw, no, it was a lovely mother’s day present Laurie, really. You tried to put a bow on it for me but you couldn’t make it stick so you just took a twist-tie and wrapped it around-“
“Do you have to tell this story every year?”
“-the worm. Would you rather I told the story of your birth?”
“Oh my God. I’m going to kill myself right now and my life will flash by in audio format because even as I lie bleeding on the floor you are just going to keep right on going with these stories aren’t you?”
“There I was, screaming at a nurse to get this evil thing out of me and then out you came. Screaming and flailing around and looking like a big redish glob of phlegm…”
Laurie sighs and flops her head down onto her folded arms and then drops them out from under her so that she can beat her forehead lightly against the kitchen table while her mother laughs and gets to her feet, sweeping up the cupcake wrappers from desert and heading towards the kitchen.
“Hey.” Gail pauses behind Laurie and taps her lightly on the head until she looks up. “You cleaned up good kid.” she says quietly, ruffling her daughter’s hair lightly and smiling in response to the pleased softening in Laurie’s features at the approval. She waits till she’s almost to the door then shoots back over her shoulder, “And I’ll tell that to all the boys you bring home.” she’s expecting another groan with a grudging twitch towards a smile, or at least a comeback, but all she gets is silence. “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad a jo-“ she cuts off mid-sentence as she turns around to see Laurie looking at her with such a mix of amazement and despondency that her own smile collapses and she forgets the cupcake wrappers, jamming them into the pocket of her jeans where two weeks later she will find them and a small hole and realize why crumbs keep falling out of her pants leg. For now she walks back to Laurie and drops into the chair next to her, raising her eyebrows. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” Laurie mutters, and she actually sounds a little resentful now, a line furrowing between her eyes as she stares down the table.
“That’s not the nothing face.” Gail says, trying not to sing-song it because they have apparently entered not-joking mode and however inexplicably they have arrived there the rules have been set in stone as they tend to be in close-knit families and now she’s going to be serious- as much as possible anyway.
“It’s just… you couldn’t have meant it, about the… about bringing a guy home.” Laurie manages to choke out, digging her fingernail into a dried spot of tomato sauce and scraping, looking like she thinks this explains everything. Gail frowns slightly,
“Well as much as I hope that somehow, miraculously, you will be the one teenage girl in the world who is completely happy without romance and therefore teenage boys in her life I kind of realize the odds of that are slim.” shit, did some boy say something to her? “Do I need to hit anyone else at that school?” she asks, half-serious, getting a little alarmed at the way Laurie is gawking at her like they’re having two different conversations.
“But Mom I can’t, I-I mean… how could you want me to… after…shouldn’t you be the first one to say it’s too dangerous for him?”
Gail feels something drop away inside her stomach, a huge pit opening up to swallow them away somewhere cold and at least half of it is Laurie breaking the unspoken Collins family rule- never mention him, never even mention anything that could lead to him. “No.” she says and the swirling in her stomach makes it come out so coldly that Laurie flinches backwards a bit, which snaps her out of it a bit and she leans forward earnestly. “Laurie you don’t really think that I believe you’d ever do that to someone?” she asks quietly watching her daughter intently as she fidgets and takes much too long to answer, expelling pheromones of guilt and sadness and self-loathing and swirl, invisible and harmless, around Gail in clouds.
“But I’ve seen how…how having me made things for you. Always moving, hiding, never finishing college and I don’t look like you except my eyes so I must be like… I must remind you…”
“Hey, listen to me.” Gail leans forward and tilts Laurie’s chin up gently with an index finger until her daughter is looking her uncomfortably, fearfully in the eyes. “We need to get a few things straight here okay?” I’m not ready for this, I’m never going to be ready for this couldn’t she just know? Am I that bad at raising this kid? But she can’t let any of that show on her face and she once again marvels at the maternal instinct as it manages to make her face blank and serious as she finishes her sentence. “You are nothing like him. You are my kid, you read too much and you trip over everything and you are just as bad at cooking as me. My life is not ruined because of you…” she trails off and waves her hands vaguely for a moment then smiles as she suddenly relaxes and the words just come. “You’re the good thing, you’re what makes an otherwise crappy set of circumstances into a pretty good life.”
“You don’t think I ruined everything? You don’t think I’d ruin everything for him?” There’s a specific him? Oh crap, maybe I shouldn’t have been so reassuring.
“I think both of those are impossible even your weird world. Now,” she picks up the package again and shakes it next to her ear, “Is it a really big worm?”
Laurie is seriously considering whacking her mother over the head with the wrapped package currently under question in hopes of inducing amnesia.
“Mo-om ” she whines, stretching the word to two syllables and rolling her eyes, “I was four.”
“Aw, no, it was a lovely mother’s day present Laurie, really. You tried to put a bow on it for me but you couldn’t make it stick so you just took a twist-tie and wrapped it around-“
“Do you have to tell this story every year?”
“-the worm. Would you rather I told the story of your birth?”
“Oh my God. I’m going to kill myself right now and my life will flash by in audio format because even as I lie bleeding on the floor you are just going to keep right on going with these stories aren’t you?”
“There I was, screaming at a nurse to get this evil thing out of me and then out you came. Screaming and flailing around and looking like a big redish glob of phlegm…”
Laurie sighs and flops her head down onto her folded arms and then drops them out from under her so that she can beat her forehead lightly against the kitchen table while her mother laughs and gets to her feet, sweeping up the cupcake wrappers from desert and heading towards the kitchen.
“Hey.” Gail pauses behind Laurie and taps her lightly on the head until she looks up. “You cleaned up good kid.” she says quietly, ruffling her daughter’s hair lightly and smiling in response to the pleased softening in Laurie’s features at the approval. She waits till she’s almost to the door then shoots back over her shoulder, “And I’ll tell that to all the boys you bring home.” she’s expecting another groan with a grudging twitch towards a smile, or at least a comeback, but all she gets is silence. “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad a jo-“ she cuts off mid-sentence as she turns around to see Laurie looking at her with such a mix of amazement and despondency that her own smile collapses and she forgets the cupcake wrappers, jamming them into the pocket of her jeans where two weeks later she will find them and a small hole and realize why crumbs keep falling out of her pants leg. For now she walks back to Laurie and drops into the chair next to her, raising her eyebrows. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” Laurie mutters, and she actually sounds a little resentful now, a line furrowing between her eyes as she stares down the table.
“That’s not the nothing face.” Gail says, trying not to sing-song it because they have apparently entered not-joking mode and however inexplicably they have arrived there the rules have been set in stone as they tend to be in close-knit families and now she’s going to be serious- as much as possible anyway.
“It’s just… you couldn’t have meant it, about the… about bringing a guy home.” Laurie manages to choke out, digging her fingernail into a dried spot of tomato sauce and scraping, looking like she thinks this explains everything. Gail frowns slightly,
“Well as much as I hope that somehow, miraculously, you will be the one teenage girl in the world who is completely happy without romance and therefore teenage boys in her life I kind of realize the odds of that are slim.” shit, did some boy say something to her? “Do I need to hit anyone else at that school?” she asks, half-serious, getting a little alarmed at the way Laurie is gawking at her like they’re having two different conversations.
“But Mom I can’t, I-I mean… how could you want me to… after…shouldn’t you be the first one to say it’s too dangerous for him?”
Gail feels something drop away inside her stomach, a huge pit opening up to swallow them away somewhere cold and at least half of it is Laurie breaking the unspoken Collins family rule- never mention him, never even mention anything that could lead to him. “No.” she says and the swirling in her stomach makes it come out so coldly that Laurie flinches backwards a bit, which snaps her out of it a bit and she leans forward earnestly. “Laurie you don’t really think that I believe you’d ever do that to someone?” she asks quietly watching her daughter intently as she fidgets and takes much too long to answer, expelling pheromones of guilt and sadness and self-loathing and swirl, invisible and harmless, around Gail in clouds.
“But I’ve seen how…how having me made things for you. Always moving, hiding, never finishing college and I don’t look like you except my eyes so I must be like… I must remind you…”
“Hey, listen to me.” Gail leans forward and tilts Laurie’s chin up gently with an index finger until her daughter is looking her uncomfortably, fearfully in the eyes. “We need to get a few things straight here okay?” I’m not ready for this, I’m never going to be ready for this couldn’t she just know? Am I that bad at raising this kid? But she can’t let any of that show on her face and she once again marvels at the maternal instinct as it manages to make her face blank and serious as she finishes her sentence. “You are nothing like him. You are my kid, you read too much and you trip over everything and you are just as bad at cooking as me. My life is not ruined because of you…” she trails off and waves her hands vaguely for a moment then smiles as she suddenly relaxes and the words just come. “You’re the good thing, you’re what makes an otherwise crappy set of circumstances into a pretty good life.”
“You don’t think I ruined everything? You don’t think I’d ruin everything for him?” There’s a specific him? Oh crap, maybe I shouldn’t have been so reassuring.
“I think both of those are impossible even your weird world. Now,” she picks up the package again and shakes it next to her ear, “Is it a really big worm?”
