Tomorrow is a long time (open)

[Bobby Drake]

> " Uhhh, yes, right, master of…competence…right here… "

Bobby smiles at that, more out of nostalgia than amusement… the comment, the nervous laugh, the snowball dance are classic Laurie.

Now that he thinks about it, that’s one of the big differences between her older and younger selves… somewhere in the last 20 years she’s learned to stop apologizing for existing. Which in turn earns him a self-administered slap on the wrist when he realizes how much the result is bugging him. So, what, then… you’d rather she stay shy and unchallenging?

Embarrassing as it is to admit, he’s forced to concede that – for the moment, anyway – that’s pretty much spot-on. In his self-appointed defense, he itemizes the extenuating circumstances of his current existence -- not least of which the complete loss of any reason to believe he’s going to accomplish anything worthwhile with the rest of his life and the fact that Laurie’s new self-confidence seems mutually exclusive with any acknowledgement of Bobby himself as in more worthy of consideration than, say, fungus – but ultimately that doesn’t make much of a dent in his embarrassment.

> " I-I guess we did? And, um, her name’s Rahne, I don’t know if you knew that. "

Bobby shakes his head. "No, we were never really introduced. Just, you know, big fight in the parking lot. ‘Rain’ is a funny code-name for a werewolf, isn’t it? Or does she have other abilities I don’t know about?"

> " …I’ve never had anyone waiting for me to tell them what to do. It was…I don’t know how any of you on the X-men do it. I’d rather… "

Laurie Sr.’s awkward departure at that moment leaves Bobby puzzled but relieved; Laurie Jr’s sheepish reaction, as if she’d said something wrong, tips the scales to “puzzled.” He’s about to ask when the connection clicks in his mind. Oh… right.

He shrugs, not really sure what to say. "You know, a couple of weeks ago I’d be ready with a whole little speech about how sometimes somebody’s got to be willing to try and make things better or everything just gets worse on its own. But, to tell you the truth, after seeing where that attitude gets me – or, well, got me, or however I’m supposed to conjugate it – it sounds pretty lame. "

He shrugs again, looking defeated. "I don’t know… maybe you have the right idea after all. Maybe we’d all be better off if we’d all just stayed out of the fight in the first place."

[Laurie Collins]

"No, we were never really introduced. Just, you know, big fight in the parking lot. ‘Rain’ is a funny code-name for a werewolf, isn’t it? Or does she have other abilities I don’t know about?”

Laurie winces a little, remembering that incident and Rahne’s part in it. It’s strange, even though they’re safely back at the base now it’s hard for Laurie to shake the feeling that she’s responsible for Rahne somehow. Maybe it’s guilt at purposefully manipulating someone for such an extended period of time but she doesn’t necessarily have a problem with that, it’s better than feeling nothing, better than enjoying it. Then the pun sinks in and she giggles, clapping a hand over her mouth and shaking her head for a moment before responding, “Oh, um, no, that’s her actual name. Rahne Sinclair. It’s a Scottish name I guess. That’s where she’s from.” She pauses there then adds tentatively, “She’s not so bad, really, she’s just…well, most of what’s happened isn’t entirely her fault.” It’s a weak protest and Bob especially is probably the wrong audience for it and so she shrugs and looks away, only to look back again as Bobby starts in on one of the most defeatist speeches she’s ever heard from him.

"… maybe you have the right idea after all. Maybe we’d all be better off if we’d all just stayed out of the fight in the first place."

That coupled with his resigned shrug makes her wince again, this time with sympathy and a trace of guilt. However bad this is for me it must be worse for him…like if I’d gotten here and found myself working with my dad. I shouldn’t have avoided him like that. “Well aside from the fact that I’m pretty sure you don’t really mean that after seeing what it did to, er, future-me…” she pauses for a moment, unsure of where she’s going with this or how to say it, “I met him, for awhile, at the camps. I guess he came in to question me before he moved on to you and he wasn’t… I mean he didn’t come in with an iron maiden or anything and when I sort of, um, lost it and started yelling at him for being a jerk he cared, he got defensive and tried to justify it instead of just shutting me up. I don’t think he really thinks he’s right either, he was saying it was like…stopping Magneto from destroying Neverland, whatever that means, and that not being on Primer’s side didn’t make him a traitor any more than not being on Magneto’s. I don’t think he’s right, or that it’s an excuse, but…” she shrugs sheepishly at that bit of rambling. “I don’t know. I don’t know why he doesn’t just leave if he doesn’t think it’s right. I guess neither of us really found the middle ground between running away and just plowing on in the name of doing something. Maybe.” She feels her face warming up and crosses her arms back over her stomach, pretty much beyond embarrassed at spewing out segments of the half formed thoughts that have been chasing themselves around her brain lately. Still, it's get the last bit out or be on my way to being as much of a jerk as she is...

“That probably didn’t make any sense, but, um, anyway I should say…I’m sorry for avoiding you when I first got back, and for whatever she said before I got here. She’d just come from a, uh, well I finally ran into my dad and she was there and it sort of sucked. You probably feel bad enough already without people doing things like that though so…yeah. Sorry.” She shrugs again and looks down awkwardly, not used to being the one offering assurances or these sorts of apologies.

[Bobby Drake]

> " Oh, um, no, that’s her actual name. Rahne Sinclair."

Bobby grins ruefully and slaps himself on the forehead. "Right, of course. I’m being a moron… sorry. " The tinkling sound reminds him that he’s still in ice-form, and he shifts back to flesh and blood as Laurie continues talking.

> " She’s not so bad, really, she’s just…well, most of what’s happened isn’t entirely her fault."

He raises a pair of skeptical eyebrows at that. "How do you figure that? She sure didn’t seem hesitant when she came after me. Granted, she’s been pretty well-behaved since getting here, but the same goes for Prim – oh." Mentioning the two of them in the same breath lets him make the connection. "You mean he’s been messing with her head?"

He has to admit, that does change things. In fact, the more he thinks about it the more he wonders about the Brotherhood in general… it’s one thing to deal with mutants who choose to be terrorists, but if they’re having their strings pulled, that’s something else again.

> " Maybe we’d all be better off if we’d all just stayed out of the fight in the first place. "
> " I’m pretty sure you don’t really mean that after seeing what it did to, er, future-me…"

Bobby shrugs noncommittally at that. He’s honestly not sure if he really means it or if he’s just depressed, but still… it’s not like many folks came out better off than Laurie did. Even if he doesn’t count the dead ones.

Laurie’s observations about Bobby Sr. distract him from that line of thought, though… he hadn’t realized that anyone but John had actually interacted with him during the raid, and her comments are interesting.

> " I don’t think he really thinks he’s right either [..] I don’t know why he doesn’t just leave if he doesn’t think it’s right. "

The memory hits him then, of his older self talking to John during the breakout. It’s fuzzy-edged, the way memories of dreams are, but he remembers the exact words and tone: “Even when we tried to protect you, you got yourself killed… and took a lot of good people with you. That’s not going to happen again. Not on my watch."

"I think… I think he’s thinks he’s saving lives." Which makes no sense to him at all. Sure, maybe more prisoners would end up dead with someone else in charge, but… why not just bust them all out in the first place? And then what… let them go blow up civilians? Actually, as far as Bobby can tell, that’s what the other Brotherhood cells are spending their energy on. Warren’s is different; he only seems to rescue the ones who aren’t just killers, the ones who can actually work with a team or make it as civilians. Except he left Sam there, Bobby thinks, then corrects himself. No, that’s not right. He’d gone in to rescue Sam; we just got in the way, and now he’s working with Laurie to fix it.

It’s all too complicated, and it makes his head hurt, and besides Laurie is still talking to him. So he lets it go for the moment.

> " I’m sorry for avoiding you when I first got back, and for whatever she said before I got here. She’d just come from a, uh, well I finally ran into my dad and she was there and it sort of sucked. You probably feel bad enough already without people doing things like that though so…yeah. Sorry. "

He blinks, once, and meets Laurie’s eyes uncertainly. "It’s… OK. And you don’t have to apologize for your – um, for her." Not for the first time, he has to stop himself from referring to Laurie the Elder as “Laurie’s mom.” "But… thanks. It’s nice to know somebody doesn’t blame me for all of this."

[Laurie Collins]

"How do you figure that? She sure didn’t seem hesitant when she came after me. Granted, she’s been pretty well-behaved since getting here, but the same goes for Prim – oh…You mean he’s been messing with her head?"

Laurie nods, “It’s not just that though. We had a little time to talk and from she said well…she’s had a hard time. The Brotherhood is the first group of mutants she ever met, I think everything she knows about any of this comes from them, and besides that there’s something…I don’t know, she’s so much more receptive to pheromone control than anyone I’ve ever met. I think when she’s a wolf she thinks like a wolf, in a way? She doesn’t try to rationalize the emotions pheromones make her feel, just follows whoever’s controlling her like their ability to do it gives them the right-” she realizes she’s been getting a little worked up and takes a deep breath, grimacing apologetically at Bobby. “I had to use my pheromones on her for most of the time we were out there. I guess that’s why I still feel sort of responsible for her…that’s dumb isn’t it?” She shakes her head ruefully and shrugs.

Bobby’s brief, defeated, shrug in response to their conversation about staying out of the fight elicits another worried look and she fidgets a little in place, wanting to say something but having no idea what she could say. “You suddenly abandoning the gung-ho superhero thing threatens the security of my worldview, please stop” isn’t exactly a feasible response and she can’t pull anything better together, nor is she sure it’s even her place to try. I’ve been running away my whole life, who am I to tell him what to do?

"I think… I think he’s thinks he’s saving lives."

That gives her a start and she almost protests. If he’s saving lives then what about Matthew’s life? What about my mom? They just didn’t make the cut? but she’s calm enough at this point to actually think about that before she bursts out with anything. Matthew was on a raid when he died, Bobby probably couldn’t have protected him even if he’d wanted to…and if I’d just gone along quietly maybe they would have left my mom alive. I should have been protecting her. That was never Bob’s job. It was mine. “I…I guess?” she says, still sounding a little dubious, but thoughtful as well. “I mean, it didn’t seem like it at the time,” she laughs shakily there, “but I guess that place could have been worse with someone else running it. And maybe some of the people locked up there really are too dangerous to let loose.” She’s stretching a little here, can’t quite believe that anyone deserves something like what they’d experienced, but she wants to believe her friend more than she wants to be right.

"It’s… OK. And you don’t have to apologize for your – um, for her…But… thanks. It’s nice to know somebody doesn’t blame me for all of this."

“Of course, I mean, you weren’t even here.” she looks up again and makes a face after that bit of seriousness, “And now that we’ve established that our future selves aren’t our fault you could maybe, um, never repeat some of the stuff she just told you? I mean, I…don’t really want to know what the tenth grade, or, uh, Julian would do with that. I promise I won’t tell anyone that…uh…” she realizes that the whole Bob-runs-the-camps tidbit is way too far-spread to contain at this point and casts about obviously for a moment before coming out with, “…uhh that when you’re old you still can’t quote Rilke from memory. I mean, he tried paraphrasing, but still, thumbs down future-Bobby.” She laughs a little, looking at him uncertainly, because it’s weird and gross and she really doesn’t want anyone to know but even so she’s tired of creeping seriously around everything weird and gross in the future which is…everything really.

[Bobby Drake]

> " The Brotherhood is the first group of mutants she ever met, I think everything she knows about any of this comes from them, and besides that there’s something…I don’t know, she’s so much more receptive to pheromone control than anyone I’ve ever met. I think when she’s a wolf she thinks like a wolf, in a way? "

Bobby nods thoughtfully at that, surprised that he’s never considered how effective Laurie would be in manipulating animals. Comes of knowing too many telepaths, I guess. Not that he’s any kind of expert on the subject, but he’s gathered over the years that Josh has an easier time communicating with humans than animals, and he’d always more or less thought of Laurie’s power as being the same kind of thing. Now that he actually thinks about it, though, it makes sense that pheromones would work well on animals.

> " I had to use my pheromones on her for most of the time we were out there. I guess that’s why I still feel sort of responsible for her…that’s dumb isn’t it? "

He’d pretty much guessed that already from her obvious anxiety about it, but he nods at the confirmation. "It’s not dumb," he replies, then trails off, unsure what to say. "It’s just… I don’t know. I’m not really the best guy to be giving advice on this, but if you’re asking: if you feel responsible, then you do what you have to do, because otherwise it’ll nag you for the rest of your life. But don’t expect to come out of it without being bitten, and don’t expect her to be grateful." All of which comes out far more bitter than he’d intended it to, and he wonders if Laurie knows enough about his personal history to read between the lines. He rather hopes not.

> " And maybe some of the people locked up there really are too dangerous to let loose."

Her skepticism is obvious, and Bobby mostly shares it. Still, he makes a mental note to find out who is still in the Camp and who has busted out over the last few years… there may be a pattern, after all.

> " you could maybe, um, never repeat some of the stuff she just told you?"

That requires some thought before he can respond. "Well, I certainly won’t tell Julian, or any of the other kids… it’s none of their business. But, the thing is… well, when we get back, or at least when we get ourselves organized, Storm is going to want a full report." He feels like a hypocrite, given all the things he’s conveniently left out of those reports over the years, but after his fight with the Juggernaut he’d decided to stop doing that.

On the other hand, he realizes, the point might well be moot. "Then again, that only applies to X-Men. And I’m thinking maybe it’s time for me to move on." Which is a bit of a surprise coming out of his own mouth, but not as much of one as he might have expected.

[Laurie Collins]

"… if you feel responsible, then you do what you have to do, because otherwise it’ll nag you for the rest of your life. But don’t expect to come out of it without being bitten, and don’t expect her to be grateful."

Laurie blinks rapidly, a bit taken aback both at the bitterness in his voice (though in retrospect she realizes she shouldn’t have been- weren’t there all those rumors about him and John? But then again John’s dating Rogue and gossip is never really that reliable…) and the suggestion that she could actually help Rahne, have some impact on her situation. Then there’s that surge of uncomfortable irritability again (like my skin’s getting too small flickers across her mind ridiculously) because of course she should have thought to do something, who else would? Who else should? But what can I do? She doesn’t want my help, she’s happy where she is and she won’t think for herself. Even if I persuaded her she’d just be following me, it wouldn’t be her. She shakes her head quickly, this is giving her a headache and she’s having a hard time thinking much that’s coherent right now with fear/anxiety/homesickness/irritability constantly swirling around in her stomach. It’s a hard mix to keep from being transferred into pheromones and that’s without her new and somewhat distressing habit of actually vocalizing. “I guess,” she says finally, “It’s funny, I always worried I’d stop caring about people if I ever had to use my pheromones on them, now I guess you guys should worry about me bringing home a steady trail of criminals insisting on their rehabilitation. I don’t know how Miss. Munroe’s going to take that one.” she adds, smiling weakly and wrinkling her nose at the image.

"Well, I certainly won’t tell Julian, or any of the other kids… it’s none of their business. But, the thing is… well, when we get back, or at least when we get ourselves organized, Storm is going to want a full report."

Oh, well, okay he’s evidently not in joking mode, fair enough, she thinks as he takes her weak attempt at phrasing that lightly and volleys back with a serious answer that’s close enough to the last thing she wanted to hear to sting a little. X-man before anyone’s friend. Got it, clearly accurate reports are the most important thing here. Another corner of her mind, usually the larger bit, is piping up that she has to be fair here, think of his perspective, but the rest of her squashes it pretty easily and she’s opening her mouth to retort when he effectively takes the wind out of her sails with-

"Then again, that only applies to X-Men. And I’m thinking maybe it’s time for me to move on."

“But-“ she starts, then cuts off just as quickly, not really knowing what to say. She’s never understood the desire to be an X-man herself beyond the logical enough desire to help people. It’s just something other people do, like being a cop or a firefighter or joining the National Guard, great in theory but she wouldn’t even consider going off to police academy or whatever and when it’s come up she hasn’t been so wildly enthusiastic about Matthew doing anything along those lines either. Bob’s just always been an X-man in her mind, he acts the way she thinks they should, gets alarmingly dramatic about his dedication to it, and really seems to like it. His initial desire was as inexplicable to her on a fundamental level as his sudden switch and she’s left obviously adrift in trying to come up with a response to it beyond, but…that’s what you do! “I guess that's just always seemed like what was most important to you, all that X-men...stuff. Is it just what she, everyone’s been saying to you here? Your older self? Because that doesn’t mean…I mean not that it isn’t important but we’re going to change it when we go back right? It doesn’t have to mean anything so if it’s that…” That was weak and she knows it but it’s not as if she’s ever been particularly good at on-the-spot coherency, even under far better circumstances than this.

[Bobby Drake]

> " now I guess you guys should worry about me bringing home a steady trail of criminals insisting on their rehabilitation. I don’t know how Miss. Munroe’s going to take that one."

Bobby grins at that, though not terribly genuinely. "Well, you wouldn’t be the first. I mean, there was John, and Nikki… not to mention Josh and Warren’s puppy. Not that he was a criminal, but… well, you know what I mean. The Professor is – I mean, was – he was all about rehabilitation."

He blinks and adds ruefully "Wow. Believe it or not, that was supposed to be a playful joking comment to lighten the mood. I’ll try to avoid the morbid nostalgia, next time. That will probably work better. But, as long as I’ve blown the whole lighthearted thing to smithereens: well, it’s true enough, you could do a lot of that sort of thing." He pauses thoughtfully and adds "I’m not sure it’s a good idea, though."

> " I guess that's just always seemed like what was most important to you, all that X-men...stuff. Is it just what she, everyone’s been saying to you here? Your older self? Because that doesn’t mean…I mean not that it isn’t important but we’re going to change it when we go back right? It doesn’t have to mean anything so if it’s that…"

He really isn’t sure what to say to that. The truth is, he’d said it without a lot of careful thought, and he’s not even sure he means it. But then again, he’s not sure he doesn’t.

"Yeah, that’s a lot of it. I mean… these guys make the X-Men sound like some kind of fascist government-sponsored anti-mutant death squad. And maybe that’s unfair, but we are working with SHIELD, and we do take down other mutants. The government developed the Cure, and we defended their production facilities. They put mutants in concentration camps and we defended the camps. It seemed like the right thing to do, at the time, but… well, I’m not sure that’s what I want to go down in history for, you know?"

[Laurie Collins]

"Well, you wouldn’t be the first. I mean, there was John, and Nikki… not to mention Josh and Warren’s puppy. Not that he was a criminal, but… well, you know what I mean. The Professor is – I mean, was – he was all about rehabilitation… it’s true enough, you could do a lot of that sort of thing… I’m not sure it’s a good idea, though."

Laurie quirks her lips up a bit at the image of Josh and Warren’s puppy- probably the most contentedly spoiled creature in Westchester if not the world- as a reformed criminal on a level with John or Nikki, then lets the smile fade out uncertainly as he brings up the Professor. She wonders sometimes what it would have been like if her mom had found out about the Institute earlier, if she’d never taken the cure, what it would have been like to live there when it had never been invaded and the original X-men team was still intact. Bobby and the other older students make it sound like halcyon days where no one was scared or died or wondered what their place was going to be and whether they would find it in time. It’s a nice idea, the perfect opposite of the free-floating anxiety she’d grown up with, but she has to doubt the picture knowing how it ends. Which, given their current situation, is suddenly an uncomfortable trail of thought on a number of levels, not to mention that Bobby’s still talking and she hasn’t even tried to figure out what he means by that last bit. Why wouldn’t it be a good idea? It worked for John and Nikki well enough didn’t it? Though I’d probably mess anything like that up pretty well I guess… “I guess.” she mutters vaguely, not sure if she really wants to get into it.

"Yeah, that’s a lot of it..."

A few weeks ago Laurie would have pushed the issue, tried harder to reassure or convince him, now she just shrugs. “I don’t know. I never really know what I think about any of this, but that makes as much sense as anything…besides it’s not something you have to decide right now. I get the feeling that ‘conscientious objector’ isn’t really an option in the 2027 Brotherhood.” She pauses, blinks, and then winces slightly, “Er, that was supposed to be reassuring. I’ll work on that.”

[Bobby Drake]

> " I get the feeling that ‘conscientious objector’ isn’t really an option in the 2027 Brotherhood. … Er, that was supposed to be reassuring. I’ll work on that."

That earns a genuine laugh, the first one in quite some time. "Man, we really suck at this, huh? At least you got through your attempt at reassurance without mentioning dead mentors… points to you."

Which was really the right point to end the conversation and go get ice cream or something. Except there wasn’t any ice cream. Or anywhere to go. Or, in Bobby’s case, much of anyone else to talk to. Besides which, not-talking has never been one of his strengths.

"But, you’re right... I don’t have to make any decisions now. I don’t know whether these guys will let me fight alongside them or not, assuming we even get into another fight before they find a way to send us back… but either way I don’t have to make any real decisions." He shrugs. "Can’t help but think about it, though."

In one sense, this would be the perfect time… he’s pretty much done with his courseload, only one semester late, and can graduate pretty much whenever he wants. He’d intended to stay at the Institute through June and apply to colleges for September, just to get back on the normal calendar, but there’s no reason he has to… he’s got enough AP work on his transcript to place out of first-semester classes pretty much anywhere he’d want to go, and he’s sure Ororo and Hank could pull some strings to get ordinary application deadlines extended for him.

Not that graduating means having to walk away from the X-Men, of course… Josh had demonstrated that already. More commuting, is all.

Am I seriously willing to walk away from it all? He isn’t at all sure. “I mean, you’re right… the ‘X-men stuff’ has been – is – really important to me. But maybe it’s time to move on, you know?" His voice is more uncertain than he’d wanted it to be, and he shakes his head ruefully. "And, that’s more than enough about me, right? So… hey, scuttlebutt says you and Matt are an actual item, now… how’s that going?"