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Post by Pyro on Apr 25, 2007 1:35:02 GMT
He’s got to be winning now, right (not that this is a competition or anything – except that it is)?
(Maybe this should feel more like betrayal than it does. If it were anyone else, and he were observing from the sidelines, doubtless words like ‘rebound’ would be adding flavour to the running commentary. But here, in the eye of the storm, it’s clearly definitely not about that; he and Bobby were over a long time ago, it just took his taking a step back to see it, and in any case he can’t be betraying him because he’s dead and it’s fucking ridiculous to expect him to consign himself to a vow of chastity over a stiff regardless of who or what they were – life goes on. Not that he’s allowing himself to think about any of that because none of it matters.)
< Yeah, s’more’n’ tha’
See? She’s admitted it. Finally. The difficult part ought to be over by now, then, which is a totally different thing to saying that the challenge itself is over because there’re still issues enough to resolve; Rogue’s… complex, to put it politely (and the fact that he feels the need to sort-of try being polite, even if out loud he’s still using ‘fucked up’ as a matter of course, has to mean something, right?), going to take some persuading… and unlike Bobby other people where the focus was the thing itself, getting there is almost as addictive for all that it’s agonisingly slow and frustrating. This is a little victory, and it helps.
< ’M sorry, if I did
He waits a moment or two, brow furrowed and eyes dark as if contemplating her transgression, before quirking a quick grin and shrugging. ”I forgive you. Just this once, though… ‘cos I know full fucking well you’re going to make it up to me.” … and maybe that’s pushing it a little, but the reminder can’t hurt, underlining that yes, he is still serious about that, and more importantly there’s no way he’s going to accept anything less regardless of how easy and amiable things seem to be between them. Because if they start getting into issues of debts owed and gratitude and such like… she’s clearly on an unstable footing, to say the least.
< It is more’n tha’, though
”Then what’re you so fucking terrified of, makes you pretend it’s not?” Part of him really wants to know the answer because once she’s explained her logic he can counter it with his and tear her argument apart, part’s a little… not scared, not quite nervous, but sort of… hesitant as to what she’ll pull out of the bag this time around. Another part points out that he doesn’t need to know, because the lines she’ll go down are obvious (and, for the most part, things he’s refusing point blank to consider reasons anyway). Ditto his next, slightly less cunning question as to ”Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?” – one which he feels the need to water-down a little before her mind starts racing off on all the bad things that could, however apparently unlikely, be conspiring to end her taste of anything other than brain-melting angst the way she’s convinced herself they always do, reassuring her that it’s not going to happen, though it’s more of a don’t try arguing than a don’t worry, I’m looking out for you. ”Worst comes to the worst, we tried it, I was wrong” – no, it doesn’t hurt to think about admitting that as even a vague possibility, fuck off – ”And we go back to doing things your way. But it won’t come to that”
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Post by Rogue on Apr 25, 2007 4:32:46 GMT
There’s just a second where she isn’t sure what he’s going to say – up until he grins and shrugs, and she realizes she was being stupid to think anything else, because this is John, and that’s what he does, how he is…
”I forgive you. Just this once, though… ‘cos I know full fucking well you’re going to make it up to me.”[/color]
…Ack. That …was a joke, right? The second part, at least, must be. Because… noo, he wouldn’t say something like that now of all times. Not seriously, at least? So she sort of half-smiles tentatively, not really sure if she should laugh or … whatever, or if he’s going to be annoyed that she doesn’t understand a joke anymore (like earlier, sort of, which is why she resists the inclination to say something in reply as if it were serious)…
”Then what’re you so fucking terrified of, makes you pretend it’s not?”
She sort of blinks, tilts her head slightly. The question takes her aback a little, though she’s not entirely sure why, because it’s almost a logical sort of question. Still… She’s not sure how to answer it. Aside from that change is bad, she doesn’t exactly have… any idea what’s scary about it – though there are still the other things, and she’s trying not to bring those up because she doesn’t want to turn this back into an argument about if Bobby is or is not dead, and such…
”I don’ know.” she starts, sort-of quiet-timid tone again, and sort of tries to keep going with some explanation, but she doesn’t have one – which is not a concession! It’s just… it’s five in the morning after an emotionally draining day and night. And she’s not good at these sorts of things in the first place. And she really doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do here…
”Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?”[/color] She sort of eyes him a second, as if asking silently if he’s really accepting suggestions for that question, before he continues. ”Worst comes to the worst, we tried it, I was wrong. And we go back to doing things your way. But it won’t come to that”[/color]
“Would goin’ back work? If it did, I mean… Wouldn’ be able t’be th’same, would it?” And it’s not like she’s weighing it as a huge probability (or even agreeing to it in the first place!), but somehow she wants to know that things would be okay… Even though that doesn’t matter and couldn’t possibly happen and… But still.
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Post by Pyro on Apr 25, 2007 19:03:37 GMT
< I don’ know
”And what you don’t know can’t hurt you.” It’s crap, and he knows it, but it’s the sort of crap around which, he’s reliably informed, *normal* people seem to base their reasoning… and not that far removed from tired old reasons she keeps churning out to try and fight against this. S’all one short of cliché or another, right? ”You’re meant to be fucking invulnerable, or whatever, right?” - see? Big change, and things are better because of it – ”And you’re jumping at shadows. Doesn’t make any sense.”
< Wouldn’ be able t’be th’same, would it?
She’s still that odd uncertain which he’s taking as a sign he’s won everything over and it’s just old habitual denial blinding her to the fact. She knows him well enough to know he’s not going to back away from this in the face of her questions, not going to admit defeat… and if she’s still pressing him to convince her then… clearly she wants to be convinced, and if not it’s her own fault for not thinking about her choice of advisor.
Which is why he’s refusing to feel guilty for being a manipulative git like this. People are fucked, and it’s no one’s fault but your own if you choose to ignore that.
”Only if you let it go that way” he shrugs. ”Me, I know I could come back from it. Came back to being *us* from plenty’ve other shit.” He’s not giving specifics, mostly because she doesn’t need them and it serves the argument better if they occur to her on her own so it’s her reasoning and not his persuasion and partly because he doesn’t want to remember, not Alkali or Magneto, and definitely not B… anything after that. The implication is crystal clear – if anything’s going to break them apart, it’ll be her fault and nothing to do with him… and now she has to choose. Life’s a bitch like that, huh?
”Up to you.”’ He shifts away from her, gets up, heads over to the desk where he’s left a cheap and nasty plastic disposable lighter (and it’s a stupid reason to move, if either of them think too much about it, because he’s of course got New!Not-Sharky right there as always, but whatever, it’s a neat enough cover for the point to be made with an escape clause if she takes it too hard… because she won’t want to accuse him of hurting her if there’s even the most tenuous reason he wasn’t trying to), retrieving it and perching on the desk edge, flicking the thing on and off idly, his tone still totally casual. ”You know I’d, fuck, I’d never push you into any… it.” – subtle, John, no need to underline the point too much, right? Rather not have her think you’re thinking about that – ”So whatever you want, Rogue”
… one final thing, which he plays almost as a topic change, as if to underline how unconcerned he is with her answer, his voice low once he starts babbling and his attention fixed on the flame as if he's just talking to himself without knowing exactly what he's saying or what it means for them ”Y’know they’re giving us new room-mates, right? … Going to be fucking brilliant explaining this to them. ‘Off to sleep with Rogue. No, she’s not my girlfriend. She just needs me to touch her. Back in the morning.’”
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Post by Rogue on Apr 25, 2007 20:43:08 GMT
”And what you don’t know can’t hurt you.” [/color]
Yes it can, she almost says, almost reminds him that so many things they never knew about have hurt them, that almost everything that hurts is unknown until it does hurt…But she doesn’t, she just drops her eyes back to where her hands are still grabbing and toying at the blanket.
”You’re meant to be fucking invulnerable, or whatever, right?”[/color] She’s not certain he wants an answer or if he’s going to keep going, but she nods slightly anyway. And, yep, he keeps talking… ”And you’re jumping at shadows. Doesn’t make any sense.”[/color]
“Only invulnerable on th’outside.” she murmurs, almost as if to herself. She’s not sure that’s explanation enough, but it’s all she says anyway, and she drops so she’s not leaning anymore, her head turned to she can see him, propped only a little on one arm stretched out a little before her.
”Only if you let it go that way. Me, I know I could come back from it. Came back to being *us* from plenty’ve other shit.” [/color]
She nods slightly – she’s pretty sure she’d be okay reverting back to normal (at least, pretty mostly-sure), and he’s got a point. They’ve been them after all sorts of other crazy things, so…
…And she really hates that he’s making sense, too, because it’s a lot harder to fight back against sense. Not that she’s agreeing to anything…
”Up to you.”
She starts slightly as he moves away, turns and sits up so she can sort-of see where he’s going… Oh. She watches him playing with the lighter absently, watches the orange flares of light in the otherwise-dark room, legs pulling up so she’s sitting cross-legged on the mattress.
“You know I’d, fuck, I’d never push you into any… it. So whatever you want, Rogue”[/color]
That sort of makes it sound like such an easy choice – just …whatever she wants, no pressure. Like he’s just pointing out options, and …
…Except she has no idea what she wants, now. And that’s new, and she’s uncomfortable with the not-knowing, because she’d known what she wanted before, and now she’s confused and conflicted… And, yes, there are so many reasons why she shouldn’t even be thinking about that, but …
”Y’know they’re giving us new room-mates, right? … Going to be fucking brilliant explaining this to them. ‘Off to sleep with Rogue. No, she’s not my girlfriend. She just needs me to touch her. Back in the morning.’”
”Y’never used t’care ‘bout that. ‘Bout explainin’ it t’anyone.” It’s pretty much only a retort in theory, because it doesn’t sound much like a challenge to what he’s saying, or like…much of anything, really, anything but her normal timid tone, uncertain as to if she should even be talking. Her eyes are on the flame on the lighter, and she’s glad there’s finally some light in here, especially now that he’s not closeby. (And no, that’s not a point. That’s entirely normal. Not being scared of the dark with people close makes sense.)
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Post by Pyro on Apr 26, 2007 3:08:35 GMT
< “Only invulnerable on th’outside.”
”Don’t start overselling yourself or anything” he snorts, rolling his eyes. ”Wouldn’t want you to get all big headed and start thinking you’re stronger than that. Fucking crazy talk. Won’t stand for it.”
It’s not like he didn’t anticipate some sort of fight, of course, but fuck, Rogue’s a difficult nut to crack. All it ever took with Bobby was promising not to disappear again… he’d have married him ten times over for this, and John almost, almost regrets never telling him half the stuff that ‘this’ is so clearly implying… until he remembers that he’s not allowing himself to regret, is barely allowing himself to remember, because none of that matters now because Bobby’s dead… and maybe part of this is some sort of second chance and maybe it’s nothing to do with any of that and maybe, fuck, she should just slap him or capitulate already and not string this out with lame protestations.
< ”Y’never used t’care ‘bout that. ‘Bout explainin’ it t’anyone.”
… hmm, maybe she has a point there, he’ll sort-of concede. Undermines the argument that things haven’t changed between them, really… but only if he’s accepting that he’s started caring about any of that, which…
”Still don’t.” Shrugging, he glances up from the flame to her, and back down with a half-smile. ”Fuck it, don’t give a damn what they think of me. S’what happens when word gets out about you, though…”
… fuck, he really is a bastard.
Time to end this before it gets any more protracted (her end) or nasty (his). John yawns "Enamoured as I am with every stupid little quirk here, y'think maybe you could try giving me a straight answer? Just once? Because it's late, I'm fucking knackered, and this is only going to drag on forever and fuck things up. So I'm asking. Yes, or no?"
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Post by Rogue on Apr 26, 2007 4:14:29 GMT
”Don’t start overselling yourself or anything. Wouldn’t want you to get all big headed and start thinking you’re stronger than that. Fucking crazy talk. Won’t stand for it.”
“Sorry.” She responds quietly, quickly, “Didn’ mean t’make it soun’ …” And she’s doing it again, isn’t she? Apologizing while he’s …sort-of-joking..? She should know better than to do that, and is sort of tempted to apologize for that too, but she stops short of that, just sort of offers a small apologetic smile.
”Still don’t. Fuck it, don’t give a damn what they think of me. S’what happens when word gets out about you, though…”[/color]
”…Oh.”
She should mention how he didn’t seem to care about that before, especially not while he was trying to make Bobby notice… But, no. she won’t can’t go there, not now, not after how badly earlier had gone… She can’t handle that again, especially not this soon. And it’s not like it matters, anyway, right?
"Enamoured as I am with every stupid little quirk here, y'think maybe you could try giving me a straight answer? Just once? Because it's late, I'm fucking knackered, and this is only going to drag on forever and fuck things up. So I'm asking. Yes, or no?"[/color]
Ah, direct question… now she can’t keep avoiding it, it’s right there, and she has to face it…
…It shouldn’t be a yes. Shouldn’t even be an option, because it doesn’t make sense for it to be, right? All those reasons she’s not brought up this time around to avoid argument over, and... Sure, there’re some positives, but… for every positive there’s got to be a negative weighing it out, right? S’how everything goes, always goes. So she has to say no. Because it’s not going to work and…
“Okay.” She murmurs, eyes shifting downwards sort-of shyly, still timid-quiet and…
Wait. What? That’s ..not no. That’s …technically, that’s yes…
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Post by Pyro on Apr 26, 2007 4:55:50 GMT
He’s prepared for it being a no. He can handle a no. Won’t like it much, and can’t pretend it won’t fuck with his head some, but can at least act like there’s nothing wrong until he can figure out what the fuck happens now he’s said something that monumentally stupid.
And then again, maybe she’ll find some way to wriggle out of this. It’d be wearing in the extreme, but another round of this game won’t hurt, and that way he’s still in with a chance and can just take a rain check on the victory…
It’ll probably be a no, though, won’t it?
< Ok
...... what?
No, she couldn’t have said that, it’s… absurd. No way. Rogue doesn’t do easy answers or ultimatums, doesn’t… fuck, obviously this was the answer he wanted, but now that she’s given it he can’t pretend he ever actually expected her to… Okay, so he expected her to, knew he’d win eventually, but that’s not the same thing and…
Fuck.
None of that makes it out, though. He just… pauses, and blinks, and looks over to her – ”Huh” - eyes widening and eyebrows raised as if to ask whether he’s heard her right – ”Okay?” - and glances back down, inhaling sharply and biting his bottom lip in an oh fuck….
Really didn't think this one through on anything other than impluse (not like that's out of the ordinary, really, but whatever, he should probably know better than to trust in instinct alone)... shit, he's been obsessing about it for ages (way back, now he thinks about it, back to when they first met, even) where, he realises, it was still safe and alien and unattainable and...
No, this is definitely a good thing. He looks back up, grinning, giving a affirmative nod, his words almost more of a relieved sigh than actual speech – ”Okay.” – before setting the lighter back down (slowly, deliberately, placing it carefully) and heading back over, sitting back on the bed, slotting in behind her.
… so, what happens now?
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Post by Rogue on Apr 26, 2007 5:37:30 GMT
Nononoy’didn’jus’dotha’…
Ordinary I didn’t just say that panic typical to most teenage girls at one point or another doesn’t even begin to cover this. Can’t possibly.
And that he’s not really saying anything, at first, really doesn’t help. Not that she’s sure why, because he’s the one who’d asked and all, but ….still. Not comfortable, the moment after she responds (which feels like it stretches on for too long, and she’s not sure if it really does or if that’s just her perception of time..)…
”Huh? Okay?”[/color]
He sounds about as surprised as she feels (her mind’s still stuck on ...didIreallyjus'saythat?, for the most part), and looks it, for a second, too, until he breaks into a grin and nods.
”Okay.”[/color]
He puts down the lighter and crosses back over to where she still is, though as soon as the flame goes out she’s blinking into the dark trying to see past the black and the purple-green-pink spots in her eyes. She’s not fidgeting, now, sort of frozen and shocked and …generally lost.
She glances over as he sits, moves in behind her, and stays as she is, not entirely sure if she should say anything (and what, if she should), or do anything (…also what to do is a good question, there…)…
‘Course, he doesn’t seem to be in a big hurry to do or say anything, either.
…No, this isn’t right. Already it’s not right, three seconds in. Her fault – he doesn’t realize, maybe, didn’t know… but she did, she realized and she broke them already because she’d agreed and they’re different and, no, she can’t let it stay like this…
She’s shaking her head, trembling and trying not to cry, once that sinks in, and she’s babbling soon after, “It’s already broken. We ain’ s’pposed t’be like this - it’s not ev’n been a minute an’ w’ quiet an’ uncomfortable an’…” She turns her head to look back at him, though now that the flame’s been put out it’s much harder to see. “’M sorry.”
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Post by Pyro on Apr 26, 2007 13:53:09 GMT
Unwelcome as this turn is – for fuck’s sake, shouldn’t she have got over all that by now? She said yes (or, well, okay, which isn’t quite the same thing but fuck, it’s near enough…) – it’s at least something he knows how to deal with, a great big cough from the unseen prompter. They’ve played this scene before, in their old roles (roles which haven’t changed, he reminds himself, because isn’t that the whole point of the argument, convincing her that this isn’t some sort of wrecking ball?); she flips out, he forces things back into whatever passes for normal. Positions, Marker, Take One.
< It’s already broken. We ain’ s’pposed t’be like this
”Rogue.” It’s forceful, this voice, one he hasn’t used in a long time, the one he uses when he’s not really talking to Rogue. Which is… sort of applicable, really, because once she remembers who she is, what they are and what the hell’s going on… yes, the ‘snap out of it’ tone is fully justified. And, more importantly, exactly how they’ve been before, regardless of ‘supposed to’ or whatever. So yes, business as normal. ”Fuck, Rogue, look at me. Why’re you freaking out over this?”
She turns to face him, and he, tugging the end of his sleeve over his hand so there won’t be any, erm, unwelcome complications or distractions when he’s trying to get her to focus, puts his hand up to her cheek and holds her there so she can’t look away.
”Last I checked, you were insane and paranoid, and I was doing the strong an’ silent voice of reason thing. So shoot me if I’m wrong but it sounds like business as normal, really.”
< ’M sorry
”I’m not” He’s still holding her in place when he moves in for what is, this evening, take three. And this time there’s no holding back, because it has to be the one that convinces her this is more than okay, this is good and something she shouldn’t be afraid of or threatened by, and he doesn’t pull back until his brain’s spinning with the vacuum of too many racing thoughts being suddenly yanked out and his heart’s pounding and he’s paler than usual and shakily getting his breath back… and fuck, that still feels good, and it shouldn’t, really, but there’s nothing like touching fire without getting burnt, and this particular fire has just enough risk to keep it interesting.
Dropping his hand to her shoulder, he slumps for a moment, as if supporting himself on her while he catches his breath, before flicking his gaze back up with a broad grin, eyes shining in the dark. ”Now, what were you saying about this being a bad idea?”
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Post by Rogue on Apr 26, 2007 15:14:58 GMT
”Rogue. Fuck, Rogue, look at me. Why’re you freaking out over this?”[/color]
The insistent tone doesn’t actually calm her, though it does drag her attention onto his words instead of the insane chatter her brain’s spewing (and it’s just her own mind doing the chattering). The covered hand on her cheek helps with that, too, drawing her in and making her pay attention, lock eyes with him.
”Last I checked, you were insane and paranoid, and I was doing the strong an’ silent voice of reason thing. So shoot me if I’m wrong but it sounds like business as normal, really.” [/color]
…Insane and paranoid. Yeah, sort of, except that it’s not paranoid if it really happens, right? Not insane if it’s logical and makes sense. It seems like it makes sense – the quiet, the whole thing, it was just… But it’s not now, though – now it’s almost normal but not, but not in a bad way, which she wasn’t sure would work but it seems to, somehow…
”I’m not”[/color]
She doesn’t try pulling back when he moves in, though there’s still the brief tense-freeze, because it’s still not normal, not what she’s used to (and she can’t help but think she’s not going to be able to get used to it), and her powers are still there… But all that doesn’t really last that long, doesn’t stay in mind more than a few moments. Because this is nice, and maybe a good change after all…
The flood of John into her mind is calming, soothing. Shouldn’t be maybe. No, not maybe – it shouldn’t, that much she’s sure of, but somehow it still is even with that knowing still there. Or because of that, even though that doesn’t make any sense… Whatever the case, she’s …not worried, not really. Slightly concerned, in flashes, but more preoccupied with other things than with that, because he’s really good at this…
When he moves back, she opens her eyes to study him best she can in the dark, make sure he’s okay. And that’s a whole other risk that she’d not wanted to bring up, but it’s still there and makes her a little uneasy – though, really, since when did it ever bother him?
And, yeah, he looks… alright, at least, even though she’s still a little worried because he’s shaky and such. He’s grinning moments after, and while her smile is more muted-shy than his, it’s still a far cry better than it’s been all night.
”Now, what were you saying about this being a bad idea?”[/color]
The smile shifts a little, slightly less timid and more almost-amused. “Not gonna say y’tol’ me so, are y’?” It flickers back to concerned, then, though still not nearly the same level of paranoid-scared-concern, and she reaches a gloved hand up to touch his face gently. “…Y’okay?”
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Post by Pyro on Apr 26, 2007 16:20:04 GMT
She’s smiling, not doing her usual deer in the headlights routine or bursting into tears, which is a good sign… And not that he was paying much attention to anything other than himself and then, well, the obvious, but didn’t exactly seem like she wasn’t enjoying it. Certainly wasn’t pushing him away the way she usually does – used to, he corrects himself, this is the norm now, right?
Resisting the urge to punch the air or any such manic victory celebration, a relieved fuck yeah! laugh nevertheless escapes, because shit, he’s done it.
< Not gonna say y’tol’ me so, are y’?
”It’s tempting” he grins. ”But you’d either break my neck or fly out the window, and I want to do that again, so you’re off the hook. Just this once.” And yes, this is just like always, only without the bad bits, right? Exactly what she needs and, he’s fairly sure, what he wants. Wins all round. Which, given how things have been going lately, is fucking fantastic – too many times someone’s had to lose out, and sod’s law said it usually wasn’t him – or wasn’t just him, because fate’s not exactly been letting him escape without a scratch – but this? It’s a perfect arrangement, right?
< Y’okay?
His expression flashes from mock-contemplation (rather than leaping at the answer, the usual teasing, because things have to play out just like always) to another slow grin, though it’s the second part of the act which takes the work because… it’s not that he doesn’t feel okay, he’s definitely more than okay, much more… but still can’t shake the feeling that his being ‘okay’ isn’t how this is meant to play out… Fuck that, he’s got no reason to be guilty, right? Life goes on… and shit, this is exactly what Bobby would have wanted, given how obsessed he was with saving the pair of them and all… not that what Bobby wants is an issue because Bobby’s dead and they’re just living, which isn’t a crime at all… and not that that’s what she means. This isn’t about that, and as to what it is about? That he can answer easily, and truthfully, with that slow smile and slight nod, tilting his head slightly and gently kissing her gloved palm (… uch, gloves. Not what he wants, that bit, but he can get used to it) before replying, sounding slightly stunned but definitely insanely pleased to be able to say it ”Yeah, I am. You?”
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Post by Rogue on Apr 26, 2007 17:12:43 GMT
”It’s tempting. But you’d either break my neck or fly out the window, and I want to do that again, so you’re off the hook. Just this once.”
She laughs slightly, then shakes her head, settling from amused to almost-intense for a second, the momentary mention of the possibility of her hurting him a startle that only lasts a second, but still warrents (in her mind) a quick “I wouldn’ hurt ya.” She probably doesn’t have to make that so clear, sound so serious, when he’s playing and has to know that already. Still, she can’t quite help that, even if she is much calmer now. She tries to lighten it, though, with another smile, keeping it somewhere above the hugely ‘eek’ mode things have been in, and aren’t in now…
The kiss to her gloved hand should make her blush – at least, she thinks it should, it makes sense for it to, given the way she is, generally, and the like – but it doesn’t, just draws another smile. And maybe that’s because it’s something different but still the same – still something them enough, even though them is something else.
”Yeah, I am. You?”[/color]
Somehow she’s okay, more than okay, and not at all okay all at once, sort of shifting and insane and somehow in a way that evens it out so that, yeah, she is, and she can nod and smile (less concern, now, and more normal, if still slightly tentative). ”Yeah. I think I am.” It sounds less uncertain than the words should, maybe, and more like she’s just sort of realizing that, sort of wonder-laced tone because it’s insane and different but the same but neither…
And it’s because of him, isn’t it? Because otherwise she wouldn’t have paid attention, and even though this is still sorta-creepy and new and not what she’s used to, she’s okay now, and that’s something, at least. Still remains to be seen if it’s going to all be okay, but …
“Thank’y’.”
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Post by Pyro on Apr 26, 2007 18:46:08 GMT
< I wouldn’ hurt ya
You will eventually and I’m okay with that isn’t really a good answer, is it, this not exactly being the time for John’s observations on human nature? Because what she’s really saying is that she wouldn’t want to, and that he can appreciate, returning a smile. No words are necessary to say I know, thanks… which is part of why this all works, isn’t it? And maybe – no, definitely, sooner or later, they’ll get properly like that, about more than just the little things, so he doesn’t have to keep reassuring her of everything, she’ll just know, and it’ll be like it was with Bob more than just okay, it’ll work out.
< Yeah, I think I am
”Halle-fucking-lujah” he sort-of sighs, relieved, with another smile. Not that he had any doubts about her being okay, of course, except that… well, yes, he did, because she’s Rogue and the smallest things inevitably dislodge her from comfortably okay and into the danger zone… and at the same time thinking that’s doing her a huge disservice because she can be one of the most stable and unflappable people he knows… when she’s not being unstable and flapping around insanely. Yeah, one big tangle of contradictions. And maybe that’s another part of why they work, because as far as either of them can ever be like anyone else, they’re the same.
< Thank’y
… whuh? Okay, that’s weird. It might just be the residual head-spinny-ness, or whatever, but… yes, whuh? He looks at her sidelong, bemused, though in a generally amused sort of way. ”Why? What’d I do?” It’ll help, so he reasons, to know what’s keeping her pleased like this for the next time – and have no doubt, there will be a next time, because that’s who she is – that she’s determined to pick this apart based on shadows and half-truths… and also, of course, it’s always good to hear good things about yourself. No shame in that.
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Post by Rogue on Apr 26, 2007 20:17:12 GMT
”Why? What’d I do?” [/color]
What he did, exactly, she has no idea – like always, she’s not sure how he does it, what he does to make things make sense and be okay and everything, even though it honestly doesn’t seem like the sort of thing he’d be good at doing. It just happens, and …like almost everything else that is John, it’s a mystery even to her how it works.
“I dunno exactly...” she responds with a half-shrug, “Y’always make it okay. Sometimes it takes awhile, an’ it’s complicated an’ all…” she flashes a smile, letting him know she’s not meaning it in a bad sort of way, not as an offense against him, “But…’ventually, y’jus’ do, somehow. Appreciate it, an’ that y’try in th’first place...”
She yawns slightly, then offers a slightly tentative-sheepish smile, and shifts around a little, so she’s sort of settled against him comfortably (and she’s a little shy about it, now, but he said it was okay and supposed to be like normal and all, so she’s careful not to seem like it, to act just like always. She’ll get used to it, she’s sure, because it’s not anything that different now, right?).
”…S’yeah, thanks, Sugah.”
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Post by Pyro on Apr 27, 2007 2:51:24 GMT
< Y’always make it okay
Not always is another one of those gut responses he’s not allowed to admit to, right? By and large he doesn’t make it anything like okay, quite the opposite – no one fucks up quite as spectacularly, or as often, as unintentionally, or as fatally, as he does – but… well, where she’s concerned, he’s only ever done it once, right? Leaving that plane back in Canada. And since they’ve reached an understanding on that… yes, sure, he can be the guy who fixes things as much as the one who destroys them. And shit, it feels good to play the hero for once and he can see why Bobby got addicted to fixing people, except that he’s got the sense to know some things just can’t be fixed.
He’s tempted to say something flippant, suitably egotistical and shallow, like maybe ask her to tell him more good things about him, but this is… not like that. It’s serious and sincere and… yes, just a little bit stunning, and he almost blushes, and does shift a little awkwardly and glance away with an oh, gosh (or, this being John, nearer … heh, fucking hell) sort of sudden embarrassment.
< it’s complicated an’ all
That does get a glib ”S’cos I’m a fucking enigma, hun.” and a half-grin, the old teasing from back when so, if we ever dated… was by far the best tact by which to *get* to her, only now it’s affectionately rather than deliberately teasing. ”Which is why we go so incredibly well. Because you’re just plain fucked up”
< Appreciate it, an’ that y’try in th’first place
… and back to the embarrassed, only this is a different sort of embarrassment. ”Yeah, well.. Only ever wrote you off once. For doing what you’re told” – and that should be enough, really, for her to know what he’s talking about, as if it wasn’t already obvious. And that wasn’t what that was about, of course, but he’s no real desire to go any deeper; it’s simple, and neat, to say it was about her, and not about Bobby or Magneto or anyone else, and more importantly it’s true, or at least as not-false as any of the reasons he’s writing off – ”Biggest fuck-up I ever made. Not doing that again”
She yawns, and shifts, snuggling in (which is odd… nice odd, but new and… yes, different. Oooh), and he eyes her sceptically – ”Hang on… so I got electrocuted, rescued by a batshit insane river rat, seduced by said maniac and… leeched, or whatever the fuck we’re calling that, and… what, you’re the tired one? Lightwei…” – his own yawn cuts him short, and he scowls and makes a forget it gesture before slumping himself, squirm-sliding so he's lying down next to her – ”Forget I said anything”.
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