Don't leave the light on...

[Matthew Craft]

[[This takes place around 2011-2012 and should not be considered a part of the normal timeline. This post is a part of the Days of Future Present timeline. (we were in need of some sappy stuffs) ]]

These were the few moments he had been waiting for so anxiously and yet these were the moments he had hoped would never come. It would be now that Laurie would tell him whether or not she was going to stay with him. It was not a decision that either of them had taken lightly, but most of the difficult and critical thinking had been Laurie’s.

She basically two options: go into hiding with her mother in hopes of avoiding this whole mutant-hunt catastrophe, or stay with him where they could (but most likely would) be constant targets. He wasn’t arrogant by any means, but he had to question Laurie’s mother’s ability to keep her safe. She was, after all, only human. He was an X-Man: A member of an elite mutant group that underwent regular strict training exercises to hone their powers and ensure that they stayed ahead of the game. Not that this was a game--the fun and laughs had ended a long time ago.

With his sister gone off to head up a ‘terrorist’ organization opposing the Mutant Registration Act and many of his friends either seized or run off as well, Laurie was one of the only reasons why he was staying at the Institute. Of course he was also coordinating an underground movement that helped innocent mutants be shuttled into rebel camps, so there was that too. But he knew, and he was sure that his other teammates knew, than it wouldn’t be too long before he made his departure, and he hoped dearly that Laurie would make it with him.

He’d been given his own room after he’d graduated and moved on to his full-time X-Men position. But it was more than just his room now; it was just as much Laurie’s as it was his. She spent just as much time in it as he did, especially with world in it’s state of chaos. The comfort they were able to find with each other was one of the few things Matthew was still able to smile about.

Matthew reaches out and grasps her hand gently, giving it a little squeeze while his eyes search hers. His thumb brushes back and forth over the back of her hand while he tries to find the best assortment of words that would make her stay with him.

“So…moment of truth, I guess.” He murmurs, suddenly far more transfixed with the way his hand fit with hers than with the conversation that he dreads yet anticipates.

[Laurie Collins]

“So…moment of truth, I guess.”

Laurie tries to laugh at the earnest seriousness of the moment, after all if this were a movie scene she'd be grabbing some popcorn from Matthew and chucking it at the television or repeating the cheesiest lines in a falsetto voice, but the noise gets stuck in her throat and she ends up just tightening her grip on his hands a little and looking away.

It isn't supposed to be like this, she thinks, but at this point her mental tone is more of a petulant plea than angry railing against reality or genuine sorrow. She's had too many occasions in the last few years to think that phrase for it not to have been worn down at least a little. When the crisis had happened, when she and Matthew had broken up during her junior year, when Matthew had joined the X-men with everyone's approval but hers, and when she'd been expelled from college a month ago. That last was still painful- her ability to fit in at college had felt like a culmination of her time at the Institute and she'd loved her classes- but all of that was feeling small and insignificant in comparison to this moment.

"I guess." she says finally, biting her lip in that old nervous way she's never entirely gotten rid of. "I-" she drops his hand and turns away suddenly, walking over towards the bed where a splotch of blue is peeking out from under the comforter. "Here's my sweater." she mutters, yanking it out from where it's been hidden. "I've been looking for this for a week and, of course, it's on your stupid side of the bed, where everything disappears to if we don't immediately desist in anything even vaguely resembling mood building and make sure no clothes are on the bed to get caught in your cover-twisting-sleeping-vortex-of-no-return after the fact." she's babbling at him waving the sweater and trying on her mock-angry face as if this is just a normal conversation on a normal night when she's over at his place, which really is more 'their' place these days. It's probably a mark of how drastic things have gotten that not many people, not even her mother, have batted an eye at two eighteen year olds basically living together. Here today and gone tomorrow, she thinks distantly of the old phrase everyone's been using to describe the state of things around the Institute.

I'm getting off on a tangent again, like always, she thinks wryly but she can't, and truthfully doesn't particularly want to just get this over with quickly, to tell him, to pull the suitcases she's already packed out of the closet and leave...

"Or, um, maybe our bed is just secretly evil, and you know, a giant Laurie-clothing black hole of, um, evil." she stumbles on, trying to keep the banter going and failing miserably as her control weakens and her eyes start to water. "Damn it..." she whispers, half-falling into a sitting position on the bed and staring determinedly down at the sweater in her lap as if its time in the aforementioned theoretical black hole has somehow imbued it with answers as to how to deal with things like this.

[Matthew Craft]

The discomfort is practically radiating off of her, and Matthew can feel his stomach drop like a rock. Between the awkward squeezing of his hand to her rambling on about her long lost sweater, he finds it hard to concentrate on what she’s actually saying. For a few moments he can only feel the tightening in his chest when she gets up to fetch the blue garment. Matthew convinces himself that his resisting of the temptation to draw her back to him is so that they can have a simple conversation, not like those ones where they’re barely able to string a series of comprehensive words together because they’re too busy kissing and doing *ahem* other stuff. But the real source of his self constraint is the overwhelming vertigo sensation that roams from the base of his skull to his temples until he can’t see or move effectively.

"Or, um, maybe our bed is just secretly evil, and you know, a giant Laurie-clothing black hole of, um, evil." He’s known her long enough to realize when she’s trying to avoid talking about something, and she’d only avoid it if it was something bad. And it wouldn’t be bad if she was about to announce that she’d turned down her mother’s offer and was staying with him so that they could live happily ever after in their otherwise catastrophic world. He hears her curse and it’s all he can do not to break down then and there.

Matthew can’t find the courage to look at her just yet, so instead places his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees and takes a few needed deep breaths. It’s not helping that each breath gets shakier than the rest.

“You’re not staying, are you?” He asks finally, he voice muffled through his hands. He had had this all planned out hours ago; how he was going to handle the conversation if she had decided to leave. Laurie would state her choice, and then Matthew would break into a convincing rant of reasons why she should stay. Realizing that he was right in every way, shape and form, Laurie would readily agree to run off to his sister’s Brotherhood group, bring her mother too, where the conditions would not be ideal, but at least they’d be together and there would be small sense of security. But so far his plan was falling into the gutters.

[Laurie Collins]

“You’re not staying, are you?”

Laurie looks up at him, startled, not having expected him to be the one to come out and say it, or to say it like that, with so much defeatism in his voice. She'd expected avoidance, maybe a rehash of the fight they'd had when he'd proudly announced that he was going to be an X-man and she'd gone silent and stiff and tried to pretend nothing was wrong, that she was thrilled for him, until the evening had devolved into a tense sniping match. She bites her lip remembering it now, one of their few actual fights with yelling and crying and storming around as she'd realized for the first time just how much she minded him committing to that kind of life. But they'd worked it out, or rather they'd both retreated into separate corners of denial, with her sure that he'd change his mind once he saw what it was really like, and he for his part probably certain that she'd come around eventually.

She realizes she's just sitting there and nods silently, losing the battle for composure and letting her eyes spill over and her voice waver when she does speak. "Please...Matthew..." she isn't sure what she's asking for but her expression has followed her words into pleading and she has to suppress the urge to reach out to him. "You've got to understand, it isn't easy for me... or for you I know, but, she's my mom." she spreads her hands helplessly to punctuate that. "She did the same thing for me growing up, how could I say no to her now? I know you think it doesn't make sense and it isn't as safe and maybe you're right but it's...it's not just her I don't want.." she gets up abruptly and walks over to the window, jabbing a finger almost angrily out at the yard where Warren is teaching a flying class, much different than the one he would have been running a few years ago, one that emphasized avoiding bullets and other projectiles. "This was never going to be my life, not when we were kids-" and for a moment the sad irony of saying that at eighteen hits her, "-and not now. I'm not an X-man or a...a...soldier or anything like that and I don't want to be and..." she takes a deep breath and looks him in the eye for the first time, openly pleading now.

"You don't have to do this either you know. It could be enough, couldn't it? Just having a life?" she takes a step closer, reaching out as if to take his hands but stopping a few feet in front of him, waiting for him to close the distance. "You could come with me."

[Matthew Craft]

"Please...Matthew..." He has to avoid turning and snapping at her, telling her not to try and pull the begging thing because there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to understand her reasoning. Matthew feels the dread be swiftly replaced by a surge of anger and he’s about to go raging on about how her mother just can’t do the things for her that he can. She can’t protect her from the Sentinels or from the furious mobs of mutant-haters, but he could, and he would. Right to the end of his own life if that’s what it took. Fortunately for his temper, Laurie jumps in and immediately begins explaining why she made the choice she did.

"She did the same thing for me growing up, how could I say no to her now?” He can’t help but interrupt.

“Laurie, look around you! This isn’t the same world you grew up in! Your mom can’t do the same things she did for you back then. There are rules now about protecting mutants. If you go with her it will only end badly.” It’s only a small portion of his anger, but he regrets it the moment it leaves his mouth, though he makes no indication of it. He has to prove to her that the only safe option is to stay with him, even if it means hurting her in the process.

“I'm not an X-man or a...a...soldier or anything like that and I don't want to be and..."

“Nobody has to be if they don’t want to. Toni will find you a job. Something that doesn’t involve fighting or even using you powers if you don’t want.” Matthew’s tone is a bit quieter, but it’s still much harsher than normal.

“You don't have to do this either you know. It could be enough, couldn't it? Just having a life? You could come with me." Matthew looks up at her, most of the irritation gone as he reaches out and holds her hands. He pulls her toward him and looks up at her from his seat on the bed.

“That’s what I’m fighting for. A plain, normal life. If we--If I don’t fight for it, then we’re going to lose the right to have the life we want so bad, if we haven’t lost it already.” Matthew sighs and looks down, holding her hand to his lips as he carefully tries to think of his next point. “I can’t go with you. I have to stay and help my family. I mean...I’m an uncle now...Toni isn’t going to be able to handle Greg and Jack and the Brotherhood on her own. She has an obligation to them and I have an obligation to her. But your mom doesn’t have an obligation to anyone except you. We could leave right now and take your mom and go off and...and...we could be happy. It would be a million times safer than what you’d be doing and this way we’d be together too.” By the end of his little ramble, his short lived anger is completely gone and all that’s left is the reasonably smooth voice of reason. He stares up into her eyes while still holding her hands earnestly.

[Laurie Collins]

Laurie's stung at his obvious anger, stepping back a little and obviously hearing and responding to the tone of his voice more than his words. In retrospect she realizes she should have expected it- she's choosing another life over him and doing it for reasons he can't, or won't, understand- but he's always so laid back, the consistent counterpoint to her nervous energy, that its startling and painful no matter how justified the circumstances.

"...Toni will find you a job. Something that doesn’t involve fighting or even using you powers if you don’t want.”

Laurie frowns and shakes her head, about to protest that if she were on a Brotherhood base she'd end up fighting one way or another. Just living somewhere like that changes you, and her mother would never come with her, but Matthew's taken hold of her hands and is barreling on earnestly.

“That’s what I’m fighting for. A plain, normal life. If we--If I don’t fight for it, then we’re going to lose the right to have the life we want so bad, if we haven’t lost it already.”

A harsh laugh escapes her as she wrenches her hands back, her features contorting into an echo of his earlier irritation. "A plain, normal life? How can you... you've always wanted to join the X-men, ever since I met you. Even if all of this hadn't happened that would never be a normal life, even if you all fix this somehow it never will be. But you could have that life there's your music and-"

“I can’t go with you. I have to stay and help my family. I mean...I’m an uncle now...

And then she's deflating as fast as he had a moment earlier as he finally gives a reason for his stubbornness she can't help but understand. "Yeah," she mutters, smiling weakly, "mini-Toni? Handful and a half I bet." She turns away from him and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, composing herself a little. Her pheromones had been brought pretty much fully under her control, and she'd mostly long since accepted them and stopped worrying about the temptation to influence people. Even now, knowing she could nudge Matthew a little with them, maybe even get him to agree, fills her with a deep revulsion more than temptation- she has her mother to thank for that, for a lot of things. I owe her too much to choose Matthew now... she steps back towards him and takes his hands again, looking down at him sadly.

"But your mom doesn’t have an obligation to anyone except you. We could leave right now and take your mom and go off and...and...we could be happy. It would be a million times safer than what you’d be doing and this way we’d be together too.”

"No." she says, voice quiet and sad and altogether defeated. "I have an obligation to her. She did so much for me growing up and this all she's ever asked from me... you have to understand." she begs again, "She would never agree to come live in some...mutant terrorist camp. Especially one my dad used to run, with people who worked under him once. I know it's not the same now but she wouldn't go, and I won't leave her. And really this...leaving, hiding... it won't be all that dangerous. I can pass for human easier than most and if anyone gets suspicious I can smooth it away with pheromones. I'll change my name, live at home, and take correspondence courses and someday when this all over..."

She squeezes his hands once then pulls back, picking up her sweater from the bed and walking over to the closet, opening the door to reveal patches of bare hangers, an empty, open drawer, and her suitcase packed and leaning against the wall.

[Matthew Craft]

[[Yay PMSing Matty! ]]

Watching her recoil away from him hurts more than the thought of her leaving, but he doesn’t apologize or beg for her forgiveness. He has to be strong during this conversation argument otherwise he’ll cave and make the wrong decision to just let her go.

And then as he’s listing off his reasons for why he’s staying to fight, Laurie shows off her rare temper. "A plain, normal life? How can you... you've always wanted to join the X-men, ever since I met you. Even if all of this hadn't happened that would never be a normal life, even if you all fix this somehow it never will be. But you could have that life there's your music and-" Under better circumstances he probably would have been intimidated by her anger, but instead it only fuels his own.

“And how is my music going to help when the shit hits the fan?! Trying to have a normal life isn’t going to make you normal, and they know that. You’re still going to be a mutant and they’re still going to want to catch you, or kill you, or worse.” Matthew snaps, instinctively standing so that his height makes him just that much more imposing.

"I have an obligation to her. She did so much for me growing up and this all she's ever asked from me... you have to understand." Her sad tone calms him again and he sits back down, running a hand through his short hair.

“And if she asked you to jump off the Empire State Building would you do it? ‘Cause it’s just about as dangerous.” He mutters under his breath.

"She would never agree to come live in some...mutant terrorist camp. Especially one my dad used to run, with people who worked under him once.” His defensiveness causes him to give her a sharp glare and cut her off before she’s even done talking.

“Toni is not a terrorist and she’s not your father.” Matthew hisses sharply, pointing an accusing finger. “What she’s doing is the right thing. Not what we’re doing here. She’s protecting mutants. We’re just finding ways to catch them so that SHIELD can have them.”


“I'll change my name, live at home, and take correspondence courses and someday when this all over..."

“This problem, it isn’t just going to go away overnight. If you’re going to do this, you have to be ready do to it for a very long time. I’m talking fifteen years or more. You can’t survive out there that long; knowing that they’re still looking for you and keeping you on the run. At least with me you’ll have a safe place to live.” Matthew continues to press his argument, putting emphasis on the likeliness of survival and safety if she were to join the Brotherhood with him.

When she opens the closet to reveal her packed suitcases, Matthew feels the floor fall out beneath him.

“I can’t believe this…” He says, dropping his head into his hands. “I can’t fucking believe this.” Matthew looks back up at her with tears forming in his desperate eyes as his fingers knit together. “Please, Laurie….You can’t do this. I can’t let you go out there when I know that you’re just going to get hurt. Please stay…” He pleads, his hands trembling and his eyes filling with tears. At the site of her standing in front of him with her suitcases, Matthew could feel his heart being wrenched from his chest.