Post by dilbert on May 17, 2007 0:35:53 GMT
Name: Dilbert Stroumboulopoulos
Age: 19
Codename: La-Z-Boy
Mutation:
Dilbert has the ability to preform a sort of on-the-spot alchemy,
enabling him to gather nearby resources and meld them together to
create an object of his desire. Unfortunately, due to a mental block,
he can only create couches. That's right, couches. Couch as in a
sofa or chesterfield.
The creation of the furniture item takes only a matter of seconds and
emits a lot of light, perhaps the most useful part of the entire
process. After the light has faded, the couch, usually ranging from
an dated floral pattern to a posh over-stuffed leather, drops the few
inches to the ground where it remains...unmoving...and um....doing
whatever couches do, perhaps waiting to be sat upon.
Physical Description:
By all other terms, Dilbert looks normal. Average height, average
build, average short hair, no need for glasses, etc. He looks like a
college student.
Personality:
Some could say that at first glance, and even at 25th glance, Dilbert
is schizophrenic. He also seems to have a number of different
personalities, seven actually, each one with a different name, and
oddly enough, a different phobia.
The first is Dilbert. This is the dominant personality and is present
about 50% of the time. This is the personality that seems to possess
the majority of the schizophrenic behaviour. He is typically very
paranoid and fearful as he has phobophobia, the fear of fear itself,
but also the fear of having a phobia. This makes him very quiet and
jumpy and he usually avoids just about everything.
The second personality is Cornelius. If one were to compare Cornelius
to any popular TV personality, Cliff Clavin from Cheers would be the
best match. He is very knowledgeable, but is often stating facts that
he has made up, but he firmly believes they are true. For some
reason, he insists on wearing classes as he thinks they suit his
'intelligent' personality but he never is able to figure out why they
impair his vision. Contrary to his scholarly-like personality,
Cornelius has Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, the fear of long
words. For this reason he avoids anyone with an IQ over 75 and he has a uncontrollable fear of his last name.
Thirdly, there is Jamal. Jamal, despite being in a completely
caucasian male body, he firmly believes he is of african decent and
behaves as a stereotypical member of that society. He listens to rap
compulsively and wears his jeans around his knees. Jamal has a rather
mild case of Heterophobia, the fear of heterosexuals, despite the fact
that he is a heterosexual himself. He also has a severe case of
Polonophobia, the fear of people from Poland or of Polish decent.
Fourth is Jasmine, one of two female personalities. Jasmine is
self-conscious and picky and prefers to only associate with men as she
has Venustraphobia, the fear of beautiful women.
Ralph is next. He is a mathematician at heart with a very logical and
calculating personality. He rarely does anything without thinking it
through very very carefully. In his free time he does calculations on
his calculator. Unfortunately, Ralph has Paraskavedekatriaphobia and
Triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number 666 (and any variation
thereof such as; 2/3, or 333 x 2) and 13 respectively.
Bertha is second to last of the personalities. Bertha suffers from
prophobia, the fear of being good. She is the reason why Dilbert and
his various personalities are in the Brotherhood. When she came into
control, Bertha sought out and signed allegiance with the Brotherhood
before any of the other 'selves' could stop her. Dilbert, the
predominant personality does not want to leave the Brotherhood out of
fear that they will come after him, a part of his paranoia complex.
Titus is the last and most rare of all the personalities. He is the
only one of the seven that is able to break through the mental block
and use his alchemy to the fullest extent. He is also the most evil
of the seven and is the only one that actually revels in being a
member of the Brotherhood. Pity he only comes out about 1% of the
time. Contrary to the others, Titus' phobia doesn't normally impair
him, as it is Choreoentophobia, the fear of dancing with a certain
breed of orchid, and dancing while decorated with that particular
breed of orchid.
There is no way to predict when Dilbert will switch personalities as
it happens completely at random. There is also no way to tell which
one will show up next, as they follow no set pattern. The transition,
however, is often seamless, with all the personalities able to access
the memories of the previous one. One good example of the personality
switching is the following: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJOc2X0w1SA
(You may also note that while the first personality in that video has
no resemblance to any of Dilbert's, the latter is quite the
representation of Titus).
Current Affiliation: (mostly) Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (Dilbert
blames Bertha for this, but is unwilling to leave out of fear of
reprisal).
Sample:
"Did you hear that?!" Dilbert snaps, glancing over his shoulder as he
pushes the cart down the isle.
"Hear what? Bats?" Bertha asks.
"Bats! I hate bats! Do you know how many germs there are in guano?"
Dilbert squawks, cowering slightly as his eyes darted around, staring
at each customer as if they were going to spring out and stab him at
any moment.
"Approximately 1,233,513...Gah!" Squeaks Ralph.
"Gah!" Dilbert shouts in surprise. "Don't do that!"
"Yes, please don't, I'd rather not walk about this abysmal--you scream
Cornelius and I'm going to rip these lips off myself--place with
urine-soaked pants." Adds Titus.
By this point, the entire store had stopped and was staring at poor
little Dilbert, which results in him rocking back and forth repeating
"I will not be afraid of the peoples. I will not be afraid of the
peoples." Which eventually succumbed to: "Why do they keep staring at
me?! Ah! They're going to kick me out! Ah!"
He knew he shouldn't have accepted the grocery shopping job from his
superior, but he was too frightened to see what would happen if he
refused.
WESTCHESTER!
Age: 19
Codename: La-Z-Boy
Mutation:
Dilbert has the ability to preform a sort of on-the-spot alchemy,
enabling him to gather nearby resources and meld them together to
create an object of his desire. Unfortunately, due to a mental block,
he can only create couches. That's right, couches. Couch as in a
sofa or chesterfield.
The creation of the furniture item takes only a matter of seconds and
emits a lot of light, perhaps the most useful part of the entire
process. After the light has faded, the couch, usually ranging from
an dated floral pattern to a posh over-stuffed leather, drops the few
inches to the ground where it remains...unmoving...and um....doing
whatever couches do, perhaps waiting to be sat upon.
Physical Description:
By all other terms, Dilbert looks normal. Average height, average
build, average short hair, no need for glasses, etc. He looks like a
college student.
Personality:
Some could say that at first glance, and even at 25th glance, Dilbert
is schizophrenic. He also seems to have a number of different
personalities, seven actually, each one with a different name, and
oddly enough, a different phobia.
The first is Dilbert. This is the dominant personality and is present
about 50% of the time. This is the personality that seems to possess
the majority of the schizophrenic behaviour. He is typically very
paranoid and fearful as he has phobophobia, the fear of fear itself,
but also the fear of having a phobia. This makes him very quiet and
jumpy and he usually avoids just about everything.
The second personality is Cornelius. If one were to compare Cornelius
to any popular TV personality, Cliff Clavin from Cheers would be the
best match. He is very knowledgeable, but is often stating facts that
he has made up, but he firmly believes they are true. For some
reason, he insists on wearing classes as he thinks they suit his
'intelligent' personality but he never is able to figure out why they
impair his vision. Contrary to his scholarly-like personality,
Cornelius has Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, the fear of long
words. For this reason he avoids anyone with an IQ over 75 and he has a uncontrollable fear of his last name.
Thirdly, there is Jamal. Jamal, despite being in a completely
caucasian male body, he firmly believes he is of african decent and
behaves as a stereotypical member of that society. He listens to rap
compulsively and wears his jeans around his knees. Jamal has a rather
mild case of Heterophobia, the fear of heterosexuals, despite the fact
that he is a heterosexual himself. He also has a severe case of
Polonophobia, the fear of people from Poland or of Polish decent.
Fourth is Jasmine, one of two female personalities. Jasmine is
self-conscious and picky and prefers to only associate with men as she
has Venustraphobia, the fear of beautiful women.
Ralph is next. He is a mathematician at heart with a very logical and
calculating personality. He rarely does anything without thinking it
through very very carefully. In his free time he does calculations on
his calculator. Unfortunately, Ralph has Paraskavedekatriaphobia and
Triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number 666 (and any variation
thereof such as; 2/3, or 333 x 2) and 13 respectively.
Bertha is second to last of the personalities. Bertha suffers from
prophobia, the fear of being good. She is the reason why Dilbert and
his various personalities are in the Brotherhood. When she came into
control, Bertha sought out and signed allegiance with the Brotherhood
before any of the other 'selves' could stop her. Dilbert, the
predominant personality does not want to leave the Brotherhood out of
fear that they will come after him, a part of his paranoia complex.
Titus is the last and most rare of all the personalities. He is the
only one of the seven that is able to break through the mental block
and use his alchemy to the fullest extent. He is also the most evil
of the seven and is the only one that actually revels in being a
member of the Brotherhood. Pity he only comes out about 1% of the
time. Contrary to the others, Titus' phobia doesn't normally impair
him, as it is Choreoentophobia, the fear of dancing with a certain
breed of orchid, and dancing while decorated with that particular
breed of orchid.
There is no way to predict when Dilbert will switch personalities as
it happens completely at random. There is also no way to tell which
one will show up next, as they follow no set pattern. The transition,
however, is often seamless, with all the personalities able to access
the memories of the previous one. One good example of the personality
switching is the following: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJOc2X0w1SA
(You may also note that while the first personality in that video has
no resemblance to any of Dilbert's, the latter is quite the
representation of Titus).
Current Affiliation: (mostly) Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (Dilbert
blames Bertha for this, but is unwilling to leave out of fear of
reprisal).
Sample:
"Did you hear that?!" Dilbert snaps, glancing over his shoulder as he
pushes the cart down the isle.
"Hear what? Bats?" Bertha asks.
"Bats! I hate bats! Do you know how many germs there are in guano?"
Dilbert squawks, cowering slightly as his eyes darted around, staring
at each customer as if they were going to spring out and stab him at
any moment.
"Approximately 1,233,513...Gah!" Squeaks Ralph.
"Gah!" Dilbert shouts in surprise. "Don't do that!"
"Yes, please don't, I'd rather not walk about this abysmal--you scream
Cornelius and I'm going to rip these lips off myself--place with
urine-soaked pants." Adds Titus.
By this point, the entire store had stopped and was staring at poor
little Dilbert, which results in him rocking back and forth repeating
"I will not be afraid of the peoples. I will not be afraid of the
peoples." Which eventually succumbed to: "Why do they keep staring at
me?! Ah! They're going to kick me out! Ah!"
He knew he shouldn't have accepted the grocery shopping job from his
superior, but he was too frightened to see what would happen if he
refused.
WESTCHESTER!