Post by Pyro on Feb 26, 2007 5:19:55 GMT
This is the convo between John and Rogue prior to A Very Cyber Valentine, played out 'real time' (i.e. without the inserted prose, just the dialogue and *jist*). With regards to any John-backstory references, we're assuming she knows more than either normally admit to... and will probably do the big reveal in some Trinity-era flashback some day, or something. Either way, she has him in her head and so *knows* it all, and they understand and accept that the way that he just *gets her*. Yup..
John: *barrelling in without knocking* Hey. This is a st. schmoop free zone, right?
Rogue: Yeah, definitely. Getting overrun with it?
John: ... Yeah. *because saying that is easier than explaining*
Rogue: Haven't really been out there much, but ... figured it would be.
John: *distracted* Mhmm...
Rogue: You alright? *looking all concerned/hovery*
John: Me? Fine. Fan-fucking tastic.
Rogue: ...Yeah, y'seem just perfectly fine t'me too. *</sarcasm>* C'mon, really.
John: Why would I be anything less today of all the fucking stupid days in the fucking stupid year?
Rogue: ... Gee, no idea, John.
John: *pause, waiting for her to offer the obvious answer*
Rogue: Really, is it that hard to admit to being upset over this whole thing? Beside the fact that you kinda brought some of it on yourself an' all, it's normal t'not be happy about it... Y’don't have to be cynical an' non-conformist over everything. Some things do apply to you too.
John: I dunno, Rogue. How hard do you think it is? </sarcasm>
Rogue: For you? No idea. Pro'lly impossible, because y'too stubborn t' just ...admit to caring.
John: Would it kill you to lay the hell off? Not that now isn't a fucking brilliant time to be laying into me. Really.
Rogue: ...Sorry. Just ... I don't like seeing you upset, an' not trying to fix it.
John: Fix what? This isn't something I can fix, is it? Sure, I'm going to crack this genetic bullshit and save Bob and we'll all live happily ever after </sarcasm>
Rogue: ...I don't know.. *quiet, teary-like*
John: *covering-up-teary-scared!angry* Exactly. *deflates slightly* So.. *sigh* Don't, okay?
Rogue: 'M sorry. Didn't mean t'start all tha' ...
John: S'not your fault. Just... shit, for all I know, this is his last... y'know, whatever.
Rogue: ...why's everythin' always gotta go wrong? Can' we just... I dunno. be okay for more'n a day at a time?
John: if I knew, d'ya think we'd be this fucked?
Rogue: ...Y'should be with 'im. ev'n if it's a "stupid holiday", or whatever... y'should.
John: ... oh sure. Because he cares whether I;m there or not. Really. *beat* Just got over mourning him once with this fucking cyberpathic shit, Rogue. Can't ask me to do it again. S'... fucking bullshit, that's what. Total fucking.. *trails off into a GAH! kinda thing*
Rogue: I know, okay? It may not be th'same, but ... I already had him die on me ...I know it wasn't real, I know it's not the same, but ... I have no idea what to do, here, either.
John: Don't.. pretending you know. Just don't. How the fuck would you know? Half the time I don't know... more than half. I just... it's... he's... fuck, I'm... Fuck!
Rogue: *quiet...* ...Maybe they'll be able t'help... an' it'll be okay...?
John: I can't live on maybe. S'... Maybe isn't good enough.
Rogue: S'better'n nothing.
John: hurts more'n nothing… can't take 'nothing' away.
Rogue: ...But I don't wanna accept that....I can' just let tha' be how it goes
John: it's how it's going to go...
Rogue: That's not fair, though...
John: since when was any of this fair?
Rogue: Isn' it about time it /was/, then?
John: *bitter laugh* You know the best bit? He thinks I'm in here fucking you. He thinks we're the proverbial things which like to fuck. And that doesn't bother him. He's in there, working some... cyber mojo, or whatever, and he doesn't give a flying fuck. *pause* That's how I knew, Rogue. Bob's already dead.
Rogue: No, he's /not/. He's in there, he has to be. He can't be already... He'd care if he were himself, an' he has t'be, somewhere...
John: *as if she hasn't said anything* ... why the hell am I in here, anyway? It's not like you'd understand, is it? *pause* Happy St. Schmoop's, Leechy. Sorry t'have wrecked it like this. </definitely not sorry>
Rogue: It's just a day. I don't care what day it is. ...And I think I understand /enough/, okay? I can't ... I already lost you for awhile, then all I really had left of /both/ of you. It's not the same thing, I don't feel the same thing..
Rogue: for him you do, but ....I can't lose him, either, okay? That I do know, and I wont just .... sit here and let you act like he's already gone.
John: *closest John'll normally come to breaking - genuinely asking in a helpless 'i actually have no idea' way rather than his usual 'fuck off and stop asking' rhetoric* What do you want me to do?
Rogue: ...I don't know. You can't just ... give up, though. Act like that's it, it's over...
John: You'd rather I kept hanging on in the vain hope he'll realise how I feel and be saved my the magical power of twoo wuv and all that? Never had you pegged for a sadist, but shit, if watching everything get blown to hell in a handbasket is what does it for ya...
Rogue: I'd rather you hung on to /something/, didn't just give up.
John: Newsflash; giving up is what i do.
Rogue: Doesn't mean s'what you have t'do
John: I doubt "Robert" <spat, because it's definitely not Bobby> 'll 'tread softly upon my dreams', so... yeah, it is. 'Being poor', they're all I've got.
Rogue: *angry!sad* S'prised you haven't given those up already.
John: Fuck you.
Rogue: Yeah, of course. Because you're the only one who's upset, john, and the way you deal with things works for everyone, and ... Just ... What'd you come in here for?
Rogue: I obviously dont' have answers for you, and you don't have any for me...
John: <deadpan, what passes for defeated on planet john - ie. snarky and refusing to admit it> Couldn't face being in the same room. Not today. *beat* That what you wanted to hear, Rogue? That I'm so fucking hung up on Bobby it hurts that much?
Rogue: ... I.. No. I don't want that, I really don't. I want you t'be okay...
John: ... n'I want to be able to promise that. Looks like we're both heading for shit loads of disappointment
Rogue: *quiet; hesitating* ... C'n ya at least promise I won't lose you too?
John: ... m'not going to top myself or anything don't worry. Dying of a broken heart's only believable if you're an inspid heroine in some gothic novel... But s'killing me, having to sit by and watch...
Rogue: S'not what I meant. I didn' think ... I mean y'not gonna leave o' pull away from me...
John: ... you want me to promise to stay here? S'not enough that you want me to watch him die, you want me to stay and face that every fucking day afterwards?
Rogue: Y'd have t'face it ev'n if y'weren't here.
John: wouldn't have to face facing it
Rogue: So, what, you just gonna run away, and pretend it's just fine?
John: ... yes. </duh>
Rogue: ..... Fine, then. If y'think that'll help, fine.
John: It'll help. Being other places, with *swallow as if to re-establish tone* other people. It;ll help.
Rogue: ...help what? Help you forget?
John: or not remember. whichever.
Rogue: It's the same thing.
John: s'not. forget means it's gone away. It won't go away. doesn't mean I have to look at it and chose to remember. I can not remember... </john logic> *beat* Forget it *another beat.. tone becomes almost childishly self-assured* Lots of stuff I'm not remembering. What being adopted felt like. Where I left my accent. The first time someone explained that sucking their balls was good for food and rent for the night. I can not remember Bobby same as anything else in there. *definitely not about to cry. Nada. John does not cry*
Rogue: Would you really want t'put Bobby in with the other things you're "not remembering"?
John: ... if the bastard's going to die on me?
Rogue: That doesn't matter. It shouldn't make it worth 'not remembering' him... should make you remember the good /more/...
John: They both hurt the same, right? *pause* ... He doesn't know. About any of... the other stuff. Or, at least, I haven't told him any... "Robert" 's probably read m'records and all by now. But he doesn't know. <looka that hanging unasked question It's all shiny>
Rogue: Know what?
John: Any of that <and no, he's still not going to ask her straight out>
Rogue: ...the other stuff y'not remembering?
John: *withering no duh*
Rogue: ...I won' say anythin'. I wouldn' d'that...
John: Thanks
Rogue: M'sorry ...I really didn' mean t'get upset, an' ... all this.
John: ... Yeah yeah. Whatever. </dismissive John line #11>
Rogue: ...I'm serious. we shouldn' b'bickering now. 'specally not over this...
[...]
Rogue: ... Hones'ly, though? Y'/should/ be with 'im, a'least ... not 'cause I want ya t' "watch 'im die" ... But if this can' be helped... y'shouldn' waste time
John: *weak smile* What's the betting this isn't one of those 'just like always' times where you're right?
Rogue: ...I'd rather not b'right. I really would.
John: ... can we pretend like you're not?
Rogue: Shouldn't. I don' wan' ya wishing y'hadn't, later.
John: so... i should go back down there?
Rogue: ...yeah, y'should. S'gotta be the first time in a long time I'm wishin' I wasn't right.
John: ... you'n'me both.*beat* *gets up* 'Those about to die* n'all that jazz...
Rogue: ... Tell 'im I said hi, 'kay?
John: ... sure he'll be stoked... 'til next time, Leechette. *exit*
John: *barrelling in without knocking* Hey. This is a st. schmoop free zone, right?
Rogue: Yeah, definitely. Getting overrun with it?
John: ... Yeah. *because saying that is easier than explaining*
Rogue: Haven't really been out there much, but ... figured it would be.
John: *distracted* Mhmm...
Rogue: You alright? *looking all concerned/hovery*
John: Me? Fine. Fan-fucking tastic.
Rogue: ...Yeah, y'seem just perfectly fine t'me too. *</sarcasm>* C'mon, really.
John: Why would I be anything less today of all the fucking stupid days in the fucking stupid year?
Rogue: ... Gee, no idea, John.
John: *pause, waiting for her to offer the obvious answer*
Rogue: Really, is it that hard to admit to being upset over this whole thing? Beside the fact that you kinda brought some of it on yourself an' all, it's normal t'not be happy about it... Y’don't have to be cynical an' non-conformist over everything. Some things do apply to you too.
John: I dunno, Rogue. How hard do you think it is? </sarcasm>
Rogue: For you? No idea. Pro'lly impossible, because y'too stubborn t' just ...admit to caring.
John: Would it kill you to lay the hell off? Not that now isn't a fucking brilliant time to be laying into me. Really.
Rogue: ...Sorry. Just ... I don't like seeing you upset, an' not trying to fix it.
John: Fix what? This isn't something I can fix, is it? Sure, I'm going to crack this genetic bullshit and save Bob and we'll all live happily ever after </sarcasm>
Rogue: ...I don't know.. *quiet, teary-like*
John: *covering-up-teary-scared!angry* Exactly. *deflates slightly* So.. *sigh* Don't, okay?
Rogue: 'M sorry. Didn't mean t'start all tha' ...
John: S'not your fault. Just... shit, for all I know, this is his last... y'know, whatever.
Rogue: ...why's everythin' always gotta go wrong? Can' we just... I dunno. be okay for more'n a day at a time?
John: if I knew, d'ya think we'd be this fucked?
Rogue: ...Y'should be with 'im. ev'n if it's a "stupid holiday", or whatever... y'should.
John: ... oh sure. Because he cares whether I;m there or not. Really. *beat* Just got over mourning him once with this fucking cyberpathic shit, Rogue. Can't ask me to do it again. S'... fucking bullshit, that's what. Total fucking.. *trails off into a GAH! kinda thing*
Rogue: I know, okay? It may not be th'same, but ... I already had him die on me ...I know it wasn't real, I know it's not the same, but ... I have no idea what to do, here, either.
John: Don't.. pretending you know. Just don't. How the fuck would you know? Half the time I don't know... more than half. I just... it's... he's... fuck, I'm... Fuck!
Rogue: *quiet...* ...Maybe they'll be able t'help... an' it'll be okay...?
John: I can't live on maybe. S'... Maybe isn't good enough.
Rogue: S'better'n nothing.
John: hurts more'n nothing… can't take 'nothing' away.
Rogue: ...But I don't wanna accept that....I can' just let tha' be how it goes
John: it's how it's going to go...
Rogue: That's not fair, though...
John: since when was any of this fair?
Rogue: Isn' it about time it /was/, then?
John: *bitter laugh* You know the best bit? He thinks I'm in here fucking you. He thinks we're the proverbial things which like to fuck. And that doesn't bother him. He's in there, working some... cyber mojo, or whatever, and he doesn't give a flying fuck. *pause* That's how I knew, Rogue. Bob's already dead.
Rogue: No, he's /not/. He's in there, he has to be. He can't be already... He'd care if he were himself, an' he has t'be, somewhere...
John: *as if she hasn't said anything* ... why the hell am I in here, anyway? It's not like you'd understand, is it? *pause* Happy St. Schmoop's, Leechy. Sorry t'have wrecked it like this. </definitely not sorry>
Rogue: It's just a day. I don't care what day it is. ...And I think I understand /enough/, okay? I can't ... I already lost you for awhile, then all I really had left of /both/ of you. It's not the same thing, I don't feel the same thing..
Rogue: for him you do, but ....I can't lose him, either, okay? That I do know, and I wont just .... sit here and let you act like he's already gone.
John: *closest John'll normally come to breaking - genuinely asking in a helpless 'i actually have no idea' way rather than his usual 'fuck off and stop asking' rhetoric* What do you want me to do?
Rogue: ...I don't know. You can't just ... give up, though. Act like that's it, it's over...
John: You'd rather I kept hanging on in the vain hope he'll realise how I feel and be saved my the magical power of twoo wuv and all that? Never had you pegged for a sadist, but shit, if watching everything get blown to hell in a handbasket is what does it for ya...
Rogue: I'd rather you hung on to /something/, didn't just give up.
John: Newsflash; giving up is what i do.
Rogue: Doesn't mean s'what you have t'do
John: I doubt "Robert" <spat, because it's definitely not Bobby> 'll 'tread softly upon my dreams', so... yeah, it is. 'Being poor', they're all I've got.
Rogue: *angry!sad* S'prised you haven't given those up already.
John: Fuck you.
Rogue: Yeah, of course. Because you're the only one who's upset, john, and the way you deal with things works for everyone, and ... Just ... What'd you come in here for?
Rogue: I obviously dont' have answers for you, and you don't have any for me...
John: <deadpan, what passes for defeated on planet john - ie. snarky and refusing to admit it> Couldn't face being in the same room. Not today. *beat* That what you wanted to hear, Rogue? That I'm so fucking hung up on Bobby it hurts that much?
Rogue: ... I.. No. I don't want that, I really don't. I want you t'be okay...
John: ... n'I want to be able to promise that. Looks like we're both heading for shit loads of disappointment
Rogue: *quiet; hesitating* ... C'n ya at least promise I won't lose you too?
John: ... m'not going to top myself or anything don't worry. Dying of a broken heart's only believable if you're an inspid heroine in some gothic novel... But s'killing me, having to sit by and watch...
Rogue: S'not what I meant. I didn' think ... I mean y'not gonna leave o' pull away from me...
John: ... you want me to promise to stay here? S'not enough that you want me to watch him die, you want me to stay and face that every fucking day afterwards?
Rogue: Y'd have t'face it ev'n if y'weren't here.
John: wouldn't have to face facing it
Rogue: So, what, you just gonna run away, and pretend it's just fine?
John: ... yes. </duh>
Rogue: ..... Fine, then. If y'think that'll help, fine.
John: It'll help. Being other places, with *swallow as if to re-establish tone* other people. It;ll help.
Rogue: ...help what? Help you forget?
John: or not remember. whichever.
Rogue: It's the same thing.
John: s'not. forget means it's gone away. It won't go away. doesn't mean I have to look at it and chose to remember. I can not remember... </john logic> *beat* Forget it *another beat.. tone becomes almost childishly self-assured* Lots of stuff I'm not remembering. What being adopted felt like. Where I left my accent. The first time someone explained that sucking their balls was good for food and rent for the night. I can not remember Bobby same as anything else in there. *definitely not about to cry. Nada. John does not cry*
Rogue: Would you really want t'put Bobby in with the other things you're "not remembering"?
John: ... if the bastard's going to die on me?
Rogue: That doesn't matter. It shouldn't make it worth 'not remembering' him... should make you remember the good /more/...
John: They both hurt the same, right? *pause* ... He doesn't know. About any of... the other stuff. Or, at least, I haven't told him any... "Robert" 's probably read m'records and all by now. But he doesn't know. <looka that hanging unasked question It's all shiny>
Rogue: Know what?
John: Any of that <and no, he's still not going to ask her straight out>
Rogue: ...the other stuff y'not remembering?
John: *withering no duh*
Rogue: ...I won' say anythin'. I wouldn' d'that...
John: Thanks
Rogue: M'sorry ...I really didn' mean t'get upset, an' ... all this.
John: ... Yeah yeah. Whatever. </dismissive John line #11>
Rogue: ...I'm serious. we shouldn' b'bickering now. 'specally not over this...
[...]
Rogue: ... Hones'ly, though? Y'/should/ be with 'im, a'least ... not 'cause I want ya t' "watch 'im die" ... But if this can' be helped... y'shouldn' waste time
John: *weak smile* What's the betting this isn't one of those 'just like always' times where you're right?
Rogue: ...I'd rather not b'right. I really would.
John: ... can we pretend like you're not?
Rogue: Shouldn't. I don' wan' ya wishing y'hadn't, later.
John: so... i should go back down there?
Rogue: ...yeah, y'should. S'gotta be the first time in a long time I'm wishin' I wasn't right.
John: ... you'n'me both.*beat* *gets up* 'Those about to die* n'all that jazz...
Rogue: ... Tell 'im I said hi, 'kay?
John: ... sure he'll be stoked... 'til next time, Leechette. *exit*
