My Confidence Is Leaving Me On My Own (Pyro)

[Magneto]

Magneto had grown a bit concerned after he left Bobby in his silent and cold prison only to find an absent Pyro back at the hideout. The boy's room was empty and looked rather trashed...possibly a fit of anger and depression. The boy was being forced into a situation that he clearly wasn't comfortable with, but then again, who 'was' really comfortable with their lot in life. Magneto may have been content on the outside, but he really wasn't. Despite the war he waged on the humans, he really was tired of it all, but he knew he had a mission to accomplish and he had come to far to stop now.

Elliot was his first thought, but when he tried to find her, it seemed she was doing her best not to be found. She wasn't happy with the whole John situation right now and having to share a mental connection with him surely wasn't making matters any easier for her. So, with a sigh and really no idea of where to look for the little fire starter, Magneto began his trek throughout the entire compound. The kitchens, bathrooms and computer room yielded him nothing and so with the only other option being the gym, Magneto struck gold. John was here, working out some frustration by the looks of it and Magneto just merely watched his pupil for a moment. The look on John's face wasn't a welcoming one and definitely not the one Magneto had been accustomed to as of late. The boy was mad, no doubt and Magneto was more than likely the last person John wanted to see right now, but then again, Magneto didn't really care, they all had a job to do and Pyro was no different.

"There's no turning back now my boy," he said as he pulled his helmet off and let hit levitate in the air in front of him. Pulling his cape around and over his right arm, Magneto cleared his throat and lowered his head just slightly, staring Pyro down, waiting to see how Johnny boy would play this one out.

[Pyro]

There’s only so much pacing and sulking the brain can take.

Not that beating the crap out of first his room and now the gym is much better, really. But said teenage brain doesn’t have many strategies for dealing with something of this magnitude even when not shaken up, and while it’s obvious nothing can really help, the well of pain being so incomprehensively huge (which adds bewilderment to the sad-angry hybrid lurking at the bottom of that well), but the mixture of self-torture and externalizing even a little of all that only hurts the right way… and imagining that it’s not things he’s burning but something older and fleshier makes it all a little sweeter.

His first thought, then, when Erik decides to make an appearance, is that he’s flipped and is hallucinating… but that delusion fades pretty fast because Fate’s too much of a bitch for this to be anything other than the fully-fledged *real* Mr. Lensherr, isn’t she?

It’s so nearly a godsend, that’s the problem. Because later he’s going to curse himself for not having the guts, or whatever it is, to kill him, or failing that to do as much damage as possible before being taken out… It doesn’t matter whether he dies now, right? Not now every fucking thing he had going for him has turned to ashes…

… except that he’s never been quite able to let go enough for that sort of bleak fatalism, has he? All this crap about never finding anything not worth burning… that one thing is the thing that can’t burn, isn’t it? Him in a nutshell there – unable to create the flame he needs to change things by, or turn it on, himself. And it’s pathetic and weak and… all there is, really. Noble as dying for Bobby would be, he can’t make himself, much as he couldn’t risk not going through with the plan, or not sticking with the Brotherhood, or any of the other stupid fucked up things he’s trapped himself in.

No, all he can do is deliver one hell of a death glare – the one every other (god knows he’s had more than enough practice) has been preparation for – which still doesn’t work and turn his back with a short, bitter laugh (laughing isn’t a good plan with broken ribs, of course, but venom’s one hell of a painkiller).

”My boy? What the fuck does that mean, Erik?” It’s the question he’s been asking since they reformed, since Magneto made his glorious return and stuck out his hand and said We need you. Every time he thinks he has his head around it the answer changes, and it’s… sickening, with the weird nausea which comes from being spun long past the point where the excitement has worn off and only the disorientation remains. He used to get a weird dark thrill from it – from being important to the cause, from thinking it made him almost a son – and now that naivety appalls him and the two little words have become something else, something more like a cage… only *become* is the wrong word, because they’ve always been that, haven’t they? He just hasn’t been looking with the right eyes…

[Magneto]

John had never been the picture of perfect mental stability and Erik knew that when he took him in, but all the angst and hesitation as of late was beginning to wear thin. There was only so much Erik was willing to take from someone and to honest, John had pushed his luck farther than should have been allowed. Erik had over looked such fits before, hell, he had even apologized to the boy for the arguments they had been in. Had not Erik been the one to outfit John with his flamethrower apparatus? Wasn't he the one who gave the boy purpose and a place to call home...no matter how messed up they both might have been? The bottom line was this, Erik had catered long enough and now it was time for John to pay the piper.

"Running scared again are we John?," he asked as he began that slow and methodical walk toward his protege, "If you couldn't handle this, then you should never have gotten on that helicopter," he added making reference to the moment when John made his decision to become Pyro and join up with the Brotherhood. Magneto had seen great things within the boy from the first time he laid eyes on him and against Mystique's wishes, he had taken the boy under his wing and taught him perhaps far too much. Maybe Mystique was right and Pyro wasn't ready, wasn't good enough to be part of their little circle. Never once had Mystique gave a second thought to carrying out Erik's wishes or doing what was right for the cause, and it appeared Pyro clearly wasn't up to that standard.

[Pyro]

”You should’ve known better than to expect a kid to make that sort of decision.” he counters, perhaps quicker than is wise, definitely far quicker than is safe… but whatever the speed, it’s still true. Not that he’s much more of an adult now, of course, despite being a whole lifetime older. ”What the hell was that? Thinking you’d get me while I was still fresh, right? Trusting that your *tender* attentions would make me grow up big and strong and human-hating?”

Evidently whatever’s driving is insane, or suicidal, or both (both are, of course, perfectly suitable responses to this whole debacle) because he finds himself actually smirking – in a dark and bitter way rather than his usual cocky, but it’s still a smirk – at Magneto, and the words keep coming. Because for once... he's not scared of what he can do to him. He still doesn't want to die, of course, and avoiding more pain would be nice, but really, after what he's pulled out of the bag the last few days, what more can there be? What the hell else can he do to him that's worse? ”Well, fuck, it’s a little late to get a refund. Sorry”

”Besides” – he’s moving now, his back to Magneto as he makes a show of not being intimidated and just carrying on with removing one of the wrist lighters as if just normally winding down from a training session, and rolls on the conversation without pausing to allow Magneto his response the way he usually would… because this isn’t the *normal* argument where he’s testing, seeing how far he can push, waiting for verification (always the dedicated student). It’s… something else. Part of which means letting everything that’s been building since what feels like forever out because there’s no room for it under all the new shit, and part of which is just a return to the old him (the him before Alkali, fittingly enough) for whom sparking off with some smartass remark or other was always the first defense. ”It wasn’t this back then.”

[Magneto]

Magneto couldn't help but give a short laugh at the way Pyro put up the brave front, the cynical and world hating boy he had been when Magneto had first encountered him. Perhaps Magneto had tried to make the boy grow up too quickly, tried to make him into something he just wasn't quite ready to be.....and possibly into something he could never be. No....Pyro had potential, it was up to him however whether or not he wanted to accept that potential and judging by the way he was acting now, he stood at the crossroads. This so called courage was a step in the right direction, but the boy side of John still refused to get with the program. Letting go of your childhood toys and lifestyle was a hard thing to do and especially with someone such as Pyro, someone who wanted the attention, but yet at the same time didn't.

"It wasn't this back then?," he asked, mocking Pyro now, as he looked about the gym casually, "My boy, its always been this, you've just refused to look at it until now. This isn't some little fun adventure in a comic book, a world we can shut away if it gets too boring or hard to understand. What we do John is never easy......and its not done without great sacrifice," he said, carefully navigating this verbal chess game with a pupil who perhaps had evolved and progressed farther than the master had anticipated.

Magneto made sure to give John his space, not trying to pen the boy in, but rather trying to steer him instead. John had learned much more than probably Magneto wanted to admit and probably more than he himself knew. This boy that Magneto called one of his own was growing, maybe not so much in maturity, but in skill and tact. John was learning how to move those around him, a skill which he already had some success with, but being around Magneto had seemed to help enhance on that ability.

[Pyro]

Magneto’s words prompt a short, bitter laugh. ”Right. So you keep saying. Because it’s the same argument every time, isn’t it? It’s not easy, but it has to be done?”

It’s true, Magneto falls back on that time and time again, and sure, it used to silence him, because he couldn’t argue with the reasoning – the cause was all-important, wasn’t it? And it was difficult, sure, but changing the world was always going to be difficult and so you just got on with it… Fuck, how naïve was he?

”Since when did that mean…” John stops, struggling to find words which express exactly the last two days, and tries again. ”Which part of that means I have to…” Words still aren’t forthcoming, and he pauses, and does that closed-eyes fist-clench thing that’s supposed to help clear your mind, or something, and here fails dismally to even begin lining thoughts up before the evacuation begins. What it does help with is biting back the definitely-not-tears… and once down they stay there, because however much they want to fall the urge not to break in front of Magneto is infinitely stronger.

Something clicks, somewhere, enough for something like a question to form. Again it’s one he’s been asking forever, and again it’s not one he expects to get an answer to, but it’s something, and he turns back to face Magneto. ”What the hell is this mysterious thing we do, Erik? I still don’t know. You wave your arms around and spout some vague crap about Homo Superior and The Children of the Atom, and it doesn’t mean a fucking thing.”

[Magneto]

Magneto smiled now, perhaps a bit more genuinely than Pyro could know. His protege had finally came around, had finally took a step up, even if it was a small one. Blindly following was something Erik looked for in those who joined the Brotherhood, but to be honest, he needed a few who knew exactly what was going on and just why the stood with him. Pyro had been taken in because of his ignorance, had been used to his full extent and even though Magneto had denied it on several occasions, the boy had been nothing but a pawn, even up till now. All these questions, those that had been locked away and driven deep down to that hidden part of John, now came rushing forth and with such determination and passion.

"Finally asking the questions...eh John?," Magneto asked as he took a step closer toward the boy, "And finally asking them like you want them to be answered," he added as he continued to advance on John, "You've been there, at every one of our meetings, our gatherings. You were at Alcatraz, so why don't you tell me? What is the cause John? What was the cause that made you join up with me and the Brotherhood?," he asked, now turning the table on John, taking some of the spotlight off of himself and buying a bit more time to plan his next move with the boy. "I do what I do because I have a reason....Mystique follows for a reason all her own as well.....as does every other mutant who has ever stood with us. So tell me John....tell me your reason."

[Pyro]

”Some guy in a dorky looking helmet told me I didn’t have to be ashamed of what I was.”

… okay, something really has changed. Because he should be stumbling over that question the way he always does when he asks himself why he’s still here, why he walked off the plane and into the arms of the Brotherhood… it’s a question he usually does any and everything to avoid answering… but now the answer is clear, and real, and obvious. Because that’s what it was about. It’s not the company line – that he wants to change things, wants to prevent a mutant holocaust, all the old lines stolen from studying Magneto’s words – though that is in its own way true. Neither is it the simple answer which usually presents itself – that it was a normal teenage rebellion, that he couldn’t help but play the Bad Guy. What all of this boils down to is just wanting the freedom to be himself without being told that was a problem, or something which needed to be controlled…

… and that, in a way, is why this whole thing stings so much. Because fuck, he’s got plenty to be ashamed of now, right? The way that decision changed him, everything Pyro is… not much to be proud of in what that ‘guy’ created.

[Magneto]

"A god among insects...," Magneto spoke quickly, just four little words, no long winded speeches, no smart retorts or anything of the like, just something simple which carried a very powerful memory. The old man took one last step toward Pyro now, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder reassuringly, setting the backdrop for what was about to unfold. This was the moment in which John Allerdyce decided his fate and the fate of those around him. Magneto did not like to entertain the thought of losing his most prized pupil, but leaving the Brotherhood was not a betrayal by any means, standing against them was. There had been several to come and go through the years and each one had been allowed of their own accord.....well....most of them anyway.

"This is not for you John.....not yet anyway," he said as he slid his hand from John's shoulder, "and as much right as you have to make that decision to leave if you wish, you know I cannot allow that....you've seen too much. You've already made a decision and like it or not....your with us till the end my boy. Granted you'll just be a minor player...such as Elliot, but you'll still be here.....with me, until I decide your no longer a threat," he added as he turned swiftly, pulling his helmet toward his open and waiting hand. "I have preparations to make for Neverland, alterations to make seeing as how you're dropping out of the race so to speak," he added as he slowly put his helmet back on. "Trust me my boy, your safer this way," he added as he glanced back momentarily......

[Pyro]

< A God among insects
He can’t not shudder, because it’s still as sickly seductive now as it was then despite the bitter taste lingering underneath… and because it’s still a lie. John’s never going to be any sort of god, because gods’ aren’t afraid the way he is, don’t find themselves groveling and blindly following… and most of all don’t get emotionally involved, just oversee and let things play out. No, he’s not a god. He’s not even sure he’s an insect any more.

< This is not for you…
John smacks down the momentary stab of those words and the part of him which sees Magneto rejecting him as the ultimate tragedy (because that part is still there, still vocal in spite of it all… it’s not something he could just cut out, really, however much he tells himself that there was never anything… titles like pseudo-son protégé don’t just die) because yes, dammit, Magneto is right, has finally realized that and dared give it voice. He doesn’t fit here, however much they’ve both tried to force the idea that this is where he belongs, that the Brotherhood is his home, his family, his destiny or whatever. It’s just… not working, and accepting that is terrifying but somehow also just… right, and makes Magneto letting him slide without a fight something other than the insanity it should appear.

The way Magneto continues gives him pause, though. Why keep him around? It can’t just be that he’s *seen things*, or else they’d never have left Mystique on that truck back before Alcatraz, because she’d been closer to him than John has been before or since… and not knowing what Magneto’s play is should worry him. The way Magneto speaks of making alterations suggests he had tactical importance of some sort… the strange back glance and mention of keeping him safe suggests some other, stranger, deeper attachment.

He’s not going to fight it, strange as that seems, because really, where could he go now?

Other questions do still need to be asked, however, given how much the game has changed, rules that need to be re-established. Most of them can be worked out later. One has to be sorted now. ”What happens to Bobby?”

[Magneto]

Pyro had given in a lot quicker and sooner than Magneto had thought, resigning to his charge and accepting the judgment passed on him. The old man smiled and as he was about to take another step, he stopped, taken back by Pyro's new question. Magneto had hoped that John would have just let this one go, but some part of Erik knew better. Bobby would have to taken care of.....and the less John knew about those details and the circumstances surrounding them, the better. Whether he was part of the plan anymore or not, John was still a dangerous playing piece and Magneto could not risk upsetting the boy anymore than he already was. John could tear apart the best laid plans and right now, everything had a place and time was of the essence.

Taking a bit longer than he probably should have, Magneto finally answered his one time protege, "He'll be tended to and then sent back to the Institute," he said, not really lying.....just failing to leave out the entire truth of what would happen. Bobby would receive his punishment for his actions back on Alcatraz and for putting all those doubts in Pyro's mind......for taking away the protege that Magneto had come to hold some sort of fondness for. "Don't ask too many questions my......well John, just go back to your room and let me and the rest of the members do what it is we have set out to do," he said with a bit of bitterness in his voice, the hurt and anger showing through more clearly than he intended......or did it?

"We'll be back soon, have Elliot tend to your injuries and for the good of both you and the Brotherhood, I would stay away from mister Drake for the time being. He's still a bit....angry with you," Magneto added, twisting that knife a bit deeper now, driving home that betrayal deep in Pyro's heart. Then with that said and everything gone to hell, the old man quickly marched off, refusing to look back at the boy who had thrown away everything.