Things That Go *BAMF* in the Night (Belladonna)

[nightcrawler]

It was late, around midnight and Kurt sat all alone in his room. He was perched on his bed, staring out the one small window which gave him access out across the garden below. The moon was full and cast a beam of soft white light through his window and onto the bare wood floor. Kurt himself was almost invisible in the dark, just one of his many abilities and one that he felt ostracized him from those around him even more. His tail twitched about in the air, almost as if it had a life of its own and in a way it did. Kurt never gave much thought as to how he used his tail and just sort of "did" it.

However, instead of the usual depressing feeling of being alone weighing heavily on his mind, there was something else, something more pleasing and uplifting. Kurt had never thought he would find one such as Belladonna when he came back to the Institute but he did and now that was what occupied most of his thoughts. He thought about visiting her, after all, she had invited him to come and see her freely and had said that she was a bit of a night owl.

*BAMF* Kurt stuck to the ceiling of the hallway, staring at Bella's door, smiling as he saw the purple scarf tied there, a symbol that she was waiting for him to come. The shadows concealed him perfectly, even his bright yellow eyes, which now looked around nervously, seeing clearly in the darkness. No one was around, perfect.....With a sigh, Kurt dropped to the floor, flipping during the free fall and landing in a crouched position, making almost no noise at all. He scampered across the floor quickly and silently, stopping and standing up straight as he reached Bella's door. Pulling at the end of the black hooded sweatshirt he wore and fidgeting with the baggy cotton pants he wore, Kurt nervously and gently knocked on Bella's door.......

[belladonna]

Bella tossed and turned in her bed, finally throwing back the covers and sitting up. It would appear that sleep wasn't going to come tonight.. Yet she felt exhausted. Frustration, that was what was mounting up and as much as she hated taking any type of medication.. this would be what would make her give in..

She heard a soft thud and pushed her black hair behind her ear. Was that a knock? She stood to her feet and grabbed her silk robe, throwing it around her and tying it. She made her way to her door, opening it to see none other than.. silence and nothing. Really how many times would she check it?

She gave a heavy sigh and pulled her robe off, now just wearing her blue and green nightie, sheer and short with spaghetti straps. In fact the only part you couldn't see through was the bra area, green embroidery covering the soft cups and on the straps too.

She made her way to the very small kitchen area and put herself a kettle on. Yeah, it was warm but perhaps it would help her sleep. While she waited for it to boil she made her way to the mirrored cabinet in the small bathroom. Perhaps this sounded extravagant but it wasn't large.. not at all. When you walk in she has a couch and a coffee table, and to the left - only separated by a small bar was the 'kitchen' area. Mostly a small sink, fridge and a mini stove. Nothing really to brag about but all she could ever want. Besides they Institute had much bigger rooms to fulfill any real need that she could want. It was just that Xavier knew she was a night owl and it made her feel better.. more at home instead of feeling like you were shut up in your bed room. Ah, her bed room was on the right and small, just containing a dresser, bed, and night stand. Most of her clothes hung in the closet which was on the right right before you found the doorway to the 'bathroom'. Which had your essentials and a small stand up shower. Not really hardly any room to turn about. Still, it was nothing less than what she wanted.

She closed the mirror cabinet and looked at the bottle. How long had it been since she had taken one? Three, four weeks? Was it wrong to break that record now? She heard the soft whistle in the back ground.. It was pulling at her and though it made her sleep it had the effects of making reality and dreams blur.. She believed that she was sleeping but she felt a bit out of control, out of touch with reality.

She gave a sigh and carried them back with her as she poured her tea, setting it down on the bar. Perhaps a cup of tea would do it and she wouldn't have to...

She put her elbows down on the counter and ran her hands through her hair. A knock? Not again.. how many times would she imagine that? She quickly stood, making her way to the door that would of course be hiding no one from her. In fact Bella was so confident of this matter she had not thought to grab her robe off the back of her couch. Her hand set on the knob and she turned it, opening it to let her eyes fall on the floor.. or what she expected to be the empty hallway.. However now it wasn't.. No, right now she saw the dark figured man with yellow eyes looking back at her. She was startled but she pushed that back, combing her hair with her fingers instinctively. "Oh, hey.. come on in." She stepped back and moved to the side to let Kurt in.

**Don't worry.. she's got on matching boy short undies. **

[nightcrawler]

Kurt was a bit taken back to say the least and blinked his eyes, lost in confusion and the sight which stood before him. He had expected Bella to be dressed for bed, but not in something quite so......revealing. He quickly dieverted his eyes, being the man creature of faith and morals that he was. "Entschuldigen Sie fräulein," he said dropping his eyes as his fingers nervously tapped agaisnt each other, "I am sorry if I voke you," he said still keeping his head low, waiting for Bella to cover herself more properly, fighting the basic urge to look up at her and over her.

Kurt did his best to be very gentlemanly like and added to the belief of his faith, some things where strictly forbidden to indulge in, this happening to be one of them. Lust had consumed many man and women throughout history and Kurt already had enough problems to deal with and certainly was not about to add to that list. "I can leave if you vish me to, I just thought I might take you up on your previous offer," he said taking a step backward, unsure if this was such a wise decsion after all.

[belladonna]

At first when Kurt acted so.. shy.. she couldn't figure out what was wrong. Did she look like she had been sleeping? God, how bad did she look?! Then it hit her and embarrassment flooded into her voice, "Oh! I'm sorry!" She turned grabbing her robe and slipping it on, pulling her hair out and letting it fall about her shoulders and she stayed turned from it and tying the belt.

She turned back towards Kurt, "No.. please don't go. You didn't wake me.. I.. I just really didn't expect anyone to be there." She felt so bad.. so dirty.. yet she wasn't sure if it was because she was genuinely embarrassed that he had seen much more of her than she would have thought him too.. or the fact that she perhaps liked the idea.. NO! She wasn't letting her thoughts linger to this and all it was doing was deepening her blush.

Her eyes drifted to the bar and she noticed her pill bottle. She could always blame it on meds.. right? I mean that's sounds better than, 'Hey I am here to test your faith!' kinda deal.. right? She felt a soft huff slip out, making no noise but the coolness of air forced through her nostrils was real enough.. It wasn't like he would look at her in that way. She was being stupid and foolish.. Yet she couldn't help but hang onto this glimmer of hope. He had told her that she was beautiful.. Was she desperate for attention, just liking having someone telling her these nice things.. or did she have genuine feelings surfacing for him? What could she do for him other than cause him more problems and pull her away from the one true thing?? And though Bella was religious she was no saint.. Sex and even murder were things she had both dealt out. That was quiet a long time ago.. for both.

She pushed all these thoughts aside and tried to suppress her real feelings. She would play the open friend as of now. I mean she could force herself to see him that way, right?

She glanced back at him, gazing into his yellow eyes.. a lie? the truth? Neither. "I am sorry Kurt, I didn't mean to. I would really like company if you feel you are still up to it. In fact I've not slept at all tonight and none last night either.. It's starting to wear thin on me but I don't really like being alone anyway." Yeah.. well you are going to be? I mean do you really think that your Blue Knight's just going to come and offer to stay all night with you.. Yeah, there's a fairy tale ending you'll never find. And if it were to ever happen what kind of woman would that make you?? Damn self doubt!

She closed her eyes tightly blocking all of this out. "I apologize before hand.. I must look a fright. But please do come in." She stepped away from the door and took the far seat on the couch.. Ironic.. her telling him she looked a fright. (ha!)

[nightcrawler]

Kurt was still a bit unsure of the direction he was heading as Bella fumbled with her words and actions. He allowed himself to steal a glance here and there, finally looking up fully when he saw she was more appropriatly dressed. He had not thought about what sort of thoughts or ideas his reaction to her earlier appearance would bring about and only when she let that little slight look of sorrow flash and wash over her face did her realize his mistake. Kurt was a deeply emotional creature and wore his heart on his sleeve, so he felt even more angry with himself for hurting Bella, even if it was only a tiny bit. Pain and conflict wasn't something Kurt enjoyed, one of the reasons why he left the Institute to start with and one of the reasons why he refused to become an offcial member of the X team.

Kurt's mind however latched onto Bella's problem at the moment, her lack and inablility to fall asleep. As she moved away from the door, his keen eyesight caught the pill bottle setting on the counter in the background and he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He wasn't sure what she was taking, and while it could be perfectly legal, Kurt figured it wasn't. Of course, Kurt didn't judge Bella, just felt a pang of saddness for her. "Nein fräulein, you look vonderful as always," he said complimenting her as he slowly entered into Bella's private room, closing the door with his tail, more out of habit than anything.

Bella's room was splendid compared to what Kurt was used to and the way he looked about showed his amazement. To some these meager quarters would have been nothing, but to Kurt it was like a castle. Bella seemed to own so much and every bit as intriguing as the woman herself. "It is very lovely," he said making a small motion with is large blue hand, indicating the room around him.

[belladonna]

Perhaps it had been good that Bella had not taken her medicine.. If so God only knows how she would act towards him as it started to kick in. She smiled at him and pulled her feet up on the couch, playing with the hem of her robe, the silk fabric slipping easy between her fingers.

"Thank you." she replied, letting her chin rest on her knee perhaps in response of the compliment to her.. or her room. Either way she wouldn't delve any further or cry for attention from him already more than she probably was already showing. No.. women were strange creatures and though she was trying to be as polite as ever she still had to constantly scold herself around him, suppress her thoughts and feelings. Was this natural? Perhaps only for women with luck like her.

"It's not a whole lot but it's enough for me." She put her legs down, slipping them underneath her slightly. "What are you doing up Kurt? Couldn't sleep?" It didn't' really matter did it? Her words made it sound like it was an inconvenience for him to be there and it wasn't. However this wasn't like it was some sort of black board where you could erase unwanted things. No, words when spoke drifted about in the air, making it heavy but never enough that you could catch it before it reached the other person's ears. "Or perhaps in some strange way I need you and that's what drew you here." Oh shit! There you go.. now you do sound like a crazy pill popper.. and you haven't even had any in how long? Gah, this was not helping. No.. awkwardness was bad and going to be avoided at all costs.

She motioned to the seat beside of her, "Come on and sit down.. You're welcome here any time you want to come and just act like it's yours. I mean you don't have to come in feeling like you are intruding."

**Gah.. mind's in the gutter.. forgive me. I know I have to be making it hard on you.. (perhaps literally.. )**

[nightcrawler]

Kurt couldn't help but let his bright yellow eyes drift to Bella as she sat on the couch, looking like some radient angel sent from above. He had never seen one as perfectly presented nor one who carried herself so well, yet the feelings he felt toward her were far beyond simple lust. Kurt held a respect for Bella, much as he did for almost everyone he met, but with her, she seemed to find herself in a loftier position thant he rest. Some might call it love or an infatuation, but Kurt really didn't have a word to describe his feeling.

"I am a bit of a creature of the night you could say," he said laughing a bit as he put empahsis on the word "creature". Of course, Kurt would be more drawn to the night, seeing as how he seemed to bond to the darkness a bit easier and plus it hid his outward appearance so much better. Bella's next statement left Kurt a bit embarrassed and speechless, after all, she had just openly said she felt as if she needed him. It was strange to hear someone say such words, especially one as lovely as Bella, after all, everyone needed to be needed in one way or another.

Kurt slowly and nervously took the offered seat next to Bella and looked around, "I could never treat this as if it vere mine fräulein, this is yours and no one elses. This is your place, a place vhere you can be vhat you vant to be," he said trying to offer he some peace of mind....or was it his way of telling himself he truly belonged here at the Institute?

[belladonna]

Bella smiled at him as he answered her, then sat down next to her. He had mentioned that it was hers and he could never treat it as his.. However what really struck her was that he had talked about them being whatever they wanted to be.. Yet he emphasize on being a creature and talked about not having the ability to act so freely around others. She gave a slight smile, wondering if he yet realized how much his words conflicted. It was like everything he spoke was the truth until applied to himself.

Bella leaned forward and let her hand rest on his, hoping to somehow make him feel better.. more relaxed. "We are what we are and we have to learn how to enjoy being what He made us. I am sure that if everyone could change who and what they were they would.. And if they didn't, well I don't know if I'd like to meet that person." Indeed because if someone loved themselves so much that they saw them self as perfect.. well one could imagine what type they would be. Now some would chose to stay themselves just because they have walked the path and learned from all the experiences.. Bella was this type - on a good day.

She let her hand slip from off of his and let it rest in her lap as she looked him over. "I don't think the answer is having a sanctuary that makes us feel safe.. or at least nothing materialistic. That feeling can be achieved through ourselves or someone else confidence and acceptance of us. That's one thing that has made this place so great.. It seems like everyone understand you at least a little bit." And how did this get turned around back to the institute. Well Bella tried to seem as casual as possible but each time she said something that implied personal.. well it just made her want to work that much harder to cover it over.. smooth it out so to say.

[nightcrawler]

Perhaps there where conflicting viewpoints in what Kurt said when it came to how one should treat and view themselves. However, Kurt had lived in isolation for so long now and had endured far too much persecution, that maybe he had resigned to the idea that he was something which never should have been and that hiding himself was the best approach to solving that problem. Self pity was a fearsome enemy to slay, no matter how many demons one had slain before. One's self was always the worst and most vile creature to face, no matter who you were or what you were.

Bella's words about the way everyone here at the Institute treated one another only solidified his feeling that he was finally somewhere where he actually belonged. She was so right in what she had said, after all, hadn't he himself found only compassion and a want of understanding from those here? Ororo and Jean had treated him so wonderfully, as had the Professor, not to mention some of the children which lived here. Kurt's bright yellow eyes looked around at the room which Bella had been afforded and smiled, realizing it wasn't just him that Professor Xavier had reached out to, it was everyone here. Perhaps others could learn to see him as he really was and not just as he appeared, after all, those here at the Institute had, so why not the rest of the world? Sure, there would always be that one ignorant jackass, but hey, you couldn't please everyone.

[belladonna]

Bella watched Kurt as he listened to her words and took in the surroundings again, perhaps starting to realize some of what she said. She knew how hard it was to convince yourself otherwise if you had been treated cruelly and she could assume that Kurt had had just that type of treatment. However that only made her feel more compassion towards him. She wouldn't dare say pity because she didn't see him as something that couldn't help himself.. Nor did she see him as a victim.. well it was hard to say just how she felt.. I mean surely he had been treated cruelly and he didn't deserve it, because instead of making him a bitter monster he was a compassionate and caring person.

She decided that perhaps it was time to open up to Kurt a bit more. He had came there but it was rude to ask what for. After all she had told him that she wanted his company.. liked his presence. And he came for her.. she assumed. She couldn't tell him what she wanted out of him or why.. she just felt at ease when he was around her.

"I'm older than I look.." she stated simply, not knowing if Kurt would view her differently but assuming not seeing the kind of person that he is. "And I was married at one time. I didn't know that my aging would be effected by my body's ability to heal. Of course where my body makes poison my immune system is greater than others.. And it's effected my physically, preserving my youth. Of course I don't think myself immortal or anything. And I can only deal with that as time goes on. I guess that's a two edged sword and you benefit from it if you make something out of the time spent here..."

[nightcrawler]

Bella's sudden confession sort of caught Kurt off guard but it was nothing out of the ordinary. Mutations where so different in each individual and Kurt had seen a myriad of different abilities in his recent travels, so the idea of someone living to be a couple hundred years old and only looking around twenty wasn't that hard to swallow any more. Of course, his recent personal discoveries had already given him some insight to those who possessed retarded aging, Logan for one and then the other he chose to put from his mind at the moment.

Kurt simply smiled and watched Bella as she told him what appeared to be a closely guarded secret, finding comfort in the fact that she trusted him so much despite having just recently met him. He knew his appearance was strange and sometimes made people weary of him, but he didn't hold it against them, he actually pitied them and felt sorry for them that they couldn't see past his physical appearance, however, that wasn't the case with Bella. "My family back in Germany is not my real family," he said with a sigh as he glanced down at the couch he and Bella sat on, pulling his legs up and hugging them to his chest as he wiggled his toes, "That was one of the reasons I left before, the Professor is the only other one to know this," he said softly, whispering his secret somewhat, his thick German accent coming through now, "I left to find my real mutter," he said glancing up to Bella with a bit of worry in his eyes, "and now....I vish I had never known," he said with a sigh, as he was about to let his biggest secret yet, slip from its hiding place within his heart.

[belladonna]

Bella watched in mild curiosity as he pulled his legs up and hugged them.. One might get the mental image of a child, suddenly afraid or heart broken.. and perhaps this wasn't much different. After all we all start out as little children and over the years the things we go through only cover that up, adding callous to what still lies underneath. And one thing could be said about Kurt.. though Bella hardly knew him he seemed to have the purest intentions of anyone that she ever knew.

She wanted to give him comfort, somehow help him with this problem he had had to face and was still facing. She felt that he had left her in a position to pick the conversation back up, talk about the sensitive subject that he had given her... But she also felt it wasn't her place. Then again places and rights were given by one person and she didn't want to neglect the opportunity that he was giving her to get to know him better. "I am really sorry Kurt.. And though knowledge can hurt I still believe that it helps us understand and deal with things that are going on around us." And one could assume that she had called him a monster, abandoned him and not felt any regret. There were so many options of why he would regret knowing who she was. She added softly, as she leaned back on the couch, turning his way a bit and leaning in towards him, "Did you meet her?" She wasn't trying to push but sometimes the things that hurt us most were because they were pent up inside and no one knew how to let it out or just couldn't bring themselves to. She meant him no harm but right now at this level of understanding she didn't know how to help him... and was trying her best.

[nightcrawler]

Kurt tilted his head to the side and made a shrugged his shoulders a bit. He had met his mother per say, back when the professor was still alive and not long after he had been found by Storm and Jean. That was the same time that he had met many of the other X-Men, even the ones who at that time where still just ordinary students and nothing more. That had been the night that he had saved Rogue's life and for the first time in a long time, had felt truly useful to someone.

"You could say that," he said hesitantly and feeling a bit bad in the process. He looked to Bella and smiled, realizing that once again, without really trying, he had shifted the conversation back to him, something he normally didn't do but with Bella it just happened. Of course, Bella didn't seem to mind talking about him and listening to the things which ate at him, but right now, that could wait. Perhaps it was time to focus on Bella and let her be the center of attention, as she once had been in a life long ago. "He vas a very lucky man," he said as his smile faded just a bit, "Your husband," he added glancing away hoping he had not said something that would offend or upset his new friend, "It is too bad he is not around to enjoy the company that I now find myself in," he continued, not knowing when to really stop, but by the look on his face now, Kurt had just figured that one out.

[belladonna]

She didn't know what to say when he responded to her questions about his mother. She tried to dance around the situation to find a safe place to somehow land, perhaps gain ground but welcome ground. After all she was fascinated with him and if he wanted her to know.. or was willing to let her she would love to hear it..

However it seemed as if everything around her was unsteady and he moved the conversation back towards her. It was a compliment.. and she wasn't sure if he said it because he genuinely felt that way or if it was the closest escape route.. And really that wasn't any of her business. The only thing she knew was that more than likely he really thought that highly of her.

She gave a smile, and almost a soft laugh but she didn't. Her eyes drifted down for a moment before gazing back up at him, her blue eyes locking onto his dancing yellow ones.. Because Kurt wasn't the kind to press a gaze on anyone, his eyes danced often about the room when heavy subjects were adrift in the air.. "Thank you, Kurt.. However I can't act like I deserve that compliment.. I didn't marry him because I loved him and in actuality I care more for you than I ever did for him. It was convenience, for us both.. We became each other's cobblestone, of sorts.. and I left him long ago, as I did the rest of the life I formed." She wasn't trying to press anything on Kurt, and she didn't necessarily want him to think she was a bad woman.. Thus why she chose the explanation and words chosen.. But still she just couldn't lie, not about that situation... alright, just not to him.. probably.

[nightcrawler]

Kurt was a bit confused by Bella's answer and found it hard to understand, perhaps probably because he himself couldn't ever use someone in that way. However, when he looked at Bella, it wasn't the eyes of judgment or hurt, it was one that one might give to another that they held strong feelings for. "At least you are honest Bella," he said using her name, the first time perhaps since meeting her, a very high compliment in itself, "All of us must do vat ve have to in order to live," he said offering her some sort of comfort, letting her know he was not upset or disappointed with her in the light of this recent divulging of secrets.

As he had been talking, Kurt had let his hand slip from his own side of the couch and over to Bella's knee, resting gently. He couldn't begin to explain why he did it or even how it had happened and to be honest, Kurt hadn't even realized what he had done. When he did realize where his hand was, he quickly pulled away and if it were possible, Bella would have seen him blush (thank goodness for blue skin ^^). "Pardon...I did not mean...," he said with a nervous laugh, trying to explain himself, but the words just not coming quickly enough.