Feather-light dreams and .. blue things *private*

[nightcrawler]

Kurt had been welcomed warmly before last time he was here at the Institute, but Bella seemed to offer a much warmer and far more personal greeting, especially with her last words. She would show him her personal room and then she told him he could call on her at night if he wished, a statement that had many implications. Bella seemed the type who was used to and comfortable around men, not in the whorish sense, but in the manner that she would have many vying for her attention. This made Kurt feel a bit elevated in the fact that such a beautiful creature as Bella would even look his way, much less stroll through a garden while hanging onto his arm, truly beauty and the beast.

"I find the night to be more soothing," he said in reply to her comment about her sleepless nights, understanding that only too well himself. "Another question fräulein....please?," he asked her as he sighed softly, "Vhy vould one of such beauty hide herself from the vorld? Surely someone of your grace and social skills vould command any situation she found herself in?," he asked her, curious as to why she hid herself here at the Institutue and then, almost as soon as he asked the question, Kurt looked away and shook his head, "Nein....That was horribly rude of me. I should not have asked such a personal question," he said, the look on his face showing how upset and disgusted he was with himself, "I hope you vill forgive me for my directness? I sometimes forget my manners," he said looking to Bella as he stopped, hoping she would not decide to cut their conversation and meeting short now.

[belladonna]

Bella smiled a bit more when he mentioned that he found night to be more soothing. She herself had always been one for the night life.. thus her career when she was younger.

And yes, lets say that Bella was once well accustomed to entertaining men, however never in a morally questionable way. She liked being the center of attention.. at one time. And that was the reason she was so confident when it came to being in the company of men. However as far as personal one on one interaction, well that was something completely different and something she had went without for quiet a few years now. How long had it been? Seven?

She heard his questions and was working quick on formulating an answer but he stopped, evidently ashamed that he had asked her such personal questions. She was surprised at this and it pulled her back a little bit, glancing at him to see what was the matter. He asked her for forgiveness, in a manner and was apologizing for his curiosity.

Before she had to think about she let go of his arm and took a step to stand in front of him. "Don't worry about it." She answered softly before shaking her head and glancing down for a moment. When she turned her gaze back up to him she smiled at him, "I don't mind your questions. I just have confidence that whatever I tell you goes no further." And really that wasn't a question or demand because she knew that he wouldn't do that..

She thought about it for a moment, "I... I used pretty well known in the US, mostly the west coast. But.. I don't know. Back when I was younger, you really didn't hear about mutants then and when I found out I couldn't hide it from others so readily, well I guess I just kind of abandoned it. And then my disappearance only sparked more interest and from a much larger group. And I guess I kept running from the problem because I didn't want to be prosecuted by those that had once been fans." She gave a light laugh, realizing that at least they did have something else in common, "I was a performer of sorts but nothing like you I am sure." She gave him a smile, hoping that he would know she took no offense. "And like I said, don't worry. It would be nice to have someone to tell everything too. It's hard to find anyone to confide in anymore." And though perhaps she wasn't able to just open up he gave her that calm assurance that telling him what he asked would be fine, nothing more than normal and reasonable.

[nightcrawler]

Kurt became worried for a moment when Bella pulled away from him, but when she stepped in front of him and addressed him more softly and, to him, on a much more personal level, his fear faded and his curiosity was peaked even more. He slowly nodded his head, letting her know that any secret she divulged to him would be taken to the grave. Kurt had always been a confidant of sorts and had even at one time given thought to entering the priesthood, but other things took that dream away from him. However, Kurt strove to be a rock of sorts for others to latch onto and to find respite in from the fierce storm of life which blew all around them.

The story Bella told went much deeper, Kurt was sure of that, but he would not push any further than Bella wished to tell him. This was her life, her privacy and her secret and she would divulge what she wished to and nothing more. Kurt listened, genuinely interested and in a way understood her fear, feeling a small twinge of kinship with Bella now. So, being the soft hearted and sometimes naive creature that he was, Kurt reached out, more instinctively than anything and gently hugged Bella, holding her for just a moment, giving her the security he thought she needed....or perhaps it was him who was the one seeking security.

Stepping back after a minute, probably less, Kurt smiled to Bella, "I hope you vill confide in me more, its nice to have someone trust you in that vay," he said, his yellow eyes showing how much this meant to him. One simple thing as an explanation of one's past could be the whole world to someone else or in reality, it was the simple trust given that he would not betray her belief in him.

[belladonna]

Bella was taken back when Kurt took hold of her and hugged her. For a split second she didn't react, then as her brain kicked in and reality finally came back to her, she responded to him by also putting her arms around him. And though she was not seeking security, nor did she feel like she really needed it, she did feel secure right here with him, and at peace - more so than usual. Of course this seemed like it ended too soon but usually most good things do. She let her arms slip back to her sides and she kept her eyes on him, a little bit of that dream (every thing's going to be okay) feeling still washing over her.

She smiled and nodded her head, "You know that works two ways, right? I mean if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'd be happy to listen." Even when younger Bella's friends used to divulge to her their problems and she would give them advice.. or just listen.

She slipped back to his side and took his arm, giving it a slight squeeze. "I used to sing in night clubs." She stated simply, divulging more of her past to him. "I always wanted to be this big star. And I did really well, I was quiet well known in my area. And back then I thought that I could hide the fact that I was 'different', however I was effected more ways than one and people were becoming a little suspicious. I didn't know how everyone would handle it. You didn't hear talk about mutants as much but everyone tends to hate and fear what they don't understand." She gave a slight shrug on this comment, simply stated the way others probably would have felt had they known. "I am sure it would have taken everything away from me that I earned so pretty much one day I just up and disappeared... like you did." She gave him a smile, and a nod of her head, "And I just keep floating for a long time, until I heard about Charles and wound up here."

She didn't want to burden him down with her life's tragic story and she wished to know more about him so she took the opportunity to do so. "What about you Kurt? Where did you come from and where are you going?"

[nightcrawler]

Bella's touch was soothing and arousing at the same time, awakening feelings within Kurt he had not felt for anyone else, or at least no to this degree. Little known to both of them, Bella had probably just become one of the most important figures in Kurt's life, a feat not easily obtained and definitely not by just anyone. Kurt closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift for just a moment, feeling safe in her arms. He could feel her heartbeat as he held her this close and his seemed to pick up to match the rhythm.

The two parted, neither one thinking or giving thought as to how this situation might appear to a random onlooker who just happened to stroll by. Both of them were consenting adults and this was their "private" life, so the heck with anyone else and their assumptions and gossip. Kurt offered his arm again as Bella quickly took up her position at his side once again and he slowly began to lead them both on through the rest of the courtyard. Bella's next question though, sort of put Kurt at odds for the moment, unsure as to how or even if he would answer her. His life and the events of said life had always been private, seeing as how he had not had anyone to really share anything with for so many years and now, thrown into such a diverse and awkward social group made him unsure of his actions and words. He knew Bella did not mean anything bad by her question, she was just curious and after all, had she not shared her personal life with him?

"I grew up in the Munich Circus, raised by gypsies, for that is just the ways of the old country and my people. Those who raised me were not my real parents, but they loved me anyway and I them. However, a chain of rather disturbing and horrible circumstances forced me to leave them and lead a life of a recluse....that is until Professor Xavier found me and brought me here," he said giving a quick look around with a smile now taking place of the somber look he had just had, "But, unfortunate and difficult questions forced me to leave here and I suppose had it not been for the Professor's.....untimely.....death, I might never have come back," he said with a shrug of his shoulders, "but then again, who knows? My questions and the answers I uncover have taken me to many places as of late," he said with a soft sigh, as if something weighed heavy on him and something most definitely did.

[belladonna]

Bella listened to him as he told her a little about himself. Of course she wouldn't ask anymore about the answers he was seeking.. Still to know that he may never had come back to the school, well that comment made her right eye give a faint twitch. She sort of interjected before she knew what she was doing, "Isn't it lonely though?" And then she commented, glancing at him, "I mean it was for me when I was traveling or moving around frequently." She looked back out infront of them, let her thoughts drift to a point in her mind where they surfaced enough for feelings, ideas, and other things to brush her senses. Was she mentioning that because she wanted to deter him from leaving again? Or was it simply getting that off of her chest? To be truthful about it may be false and it may be selfish, so she dare not delve more on the matter of why she had said that.

"Do you believe in fate?" She glanced at Kurt, wondering what views he had on life. After all he had to have a pretty positive attitude to bear whatever burden he held... Not to mention to keep going and searching like he had been. "I mean, I think that you can dodge something but in the long run it's inevitable. I believe we have specific points in life we will reach and we can choose to take the long route or the short route, whichever way we choose there's no mistake that we will end up just where God intended us to." Ah, religion was something highly controversy. Well, it was hard to explain something that couldn't be comprehended - the being in itself and the intentions it held for the world with all that was 'allowed' to happen. However no matter how many non-believers she had found she still adhered to her faith, however not expressing it all the time, she would never deny what she believed.

Of course Isabella was raised in a very religious family, and they did know about her mutation. Well, it became kind of clear when she was a young girl and she had trouble controlling it. They knew something was wrong but they were torn between a medical condition and .. well, the something else she turned out to be. She remembered something that her mother had told her, of course the circumstances in which this conversation came about was dire because she had killed... things before unintentionally - namely pets. Of course that only happened a few times and it took a while for her to get confidence that nothing was going to happen, that she wouldn't let it. "You know, my mama used to tell me something, of course it's probably foolish or whatever but it made me feel better as a child. Whenever I was upset or would cry because I was different she would tell me I was a decedent of the angels, or the nephilim. Of course it tells us that they were wiped out but still, she had me convinced that I was an angel." She gave a soft laugh and looked to the ground, "I know it was stupid, but it meant alot to me as a child."

[nightcrawler]

Religion......now there was a topic that Nightcrawler was more at home discussing, although a tricky one to stay on the right path with. He had been raised Catholic when in the circus and still clung to those faiths fervently, although he did not openly push what he thought, knew, or felt about the subject of God. It was nice though, to see another of faith and this made him breath a bit easier and smile broader. He had had this talk with others before, the last most prominent one in his mind was that of Storm and how with his help, she had found a bit of her own inner peace. "Fate is something of a tricky subject and one with many differing opinions, but I must agree with you somevhat," he said, letting himself stop as he pondered her comment about angels and demons and nephilim, giving a sigh as if he knew far more than he let on. Did Bella's mother know of the past, of the mutant war so long ago or was she simply telling her frightened daughter a story to make her feel better? This was a question Nightcrawler could not ask, lest he reveal too much that she nor he could ever understand.

"There is nothing stupid in a vay a mutter chooses to comfort her child...," he said, letting out another soft sigh as he did. The thought of "mother" was a touchy subject and one that brought mixed emotions. Kurt had had a loving mother, one that provided for him and took care of him, but Nightcrawler.....well, that part of him had never knew his birth mother.....

[belladonna]

Okay, when it came to her belief on fate he agreed with her somewhat. "Well, what's your view on it?" She was always open to listen to the thoughts and feelings of someone else. Not to mention it would show a little more of how he viewed things and what he believed in. It didn't take long for her to find out that some of the things she had told him had troubled him. The way he was sighing softly and the way it seemed his voice had dropped. "I'm sorry." She replied, hoping that that would correct whatever it was that she had done wrong. However what else was one to do when they didn't know what ails a person and they knew it wasn't proper to ask? Well... and it wasn't like he was really trying to show this disappointment or dislike in her current topics, things she only thought about as sharing more of her personal life to him. "I mean if I upset you or anything, because that wasn't my intentions." Her voice fell softly and she waited for him to say something else.

He was definitely mysterious, however that made it hard to pick good topics of conversation. She didn't know what would offend him or not. She gave a slight sigh and stepped more around to him. "I'll just tell you know in case I don't have time to show you later. My room is on the second floor and I'll put a purple scarf on the handle. That way when you can't sleep I'll be pretty easy to find. And anytime you want to talk too." Perhaps in time he would open up to her more. She knew what it was like to live life as a recluse and it was hard to convert back, if he ever did choose so. She wasn't open on all things with others but she would divulge some facts and minor things to those that asked, as long as it was information she trusted them with.

[nightcrawler]

Kurt was always open to talk about his belief and share his thoughts on his faith and seeing as how Bella seemed to be genuinely interested in knowing what his opinion was, well....what could it hurt to share a bit? It appeared to him that whatever he might have to say about religion and faith and fate would not insult Bella, after all, she seemed to be a creature of faith as well so, with a slow breath, he answered her first question. "What I believe is simple," he said as he stopped and reached into the pocket of his pants, pulling out a small leather bound bible, well worn and the corner missing from one place of it, looking as if it had almost been burned at one point or another, "I belive what I read and take the words to heart," he said offering Bella a soft smile as he slid the small bible back into his pocket.

When Bella moved in front of him, apologizing for her supposed rude behavior, it was Kurt's turn to wave her nicety aside, "You have nothing to be sorry for fräulein, its just hard for me to put my thoughts together in a vay vich makes sense," he said trying to explain his hesitance in answer her questions to her liking. Then, before Kurt could offer or say anything else, Bella made her offer, describing where her room was and how she would identify it for him. Some might take this action the wrong way, but Kurt knew better, he read Bella better than that. She offered him a sanctuary of sorts, a place to find solace and a good friend if he so desired. "The offer is greatly accepted fräulein. I will definitly come to visit you one night then, zat is a promise," he said with a wink and a broad smile.

[belladonna]

Bella was a bit surprised as he pulled the leather bible out of his pocket, still it was a good surprise. After all you didn't find many people anymore that really took the words contained therein to heart. A smile swept across her lips and she gave him a nod in acknowledgment, watching him return it into safe keeping.

As he promised her he would visit her she felt a slight wave of warmth rush over her. That showed he was at least that much comfortable with her, right? She nodded her head again, knowing that she would more than likely be there - unless she was sleeplessly creeping around the halls. She felt a slight tingling sensation of anticipation, but why? For a minute she was starting to feel like a little school girl with a crush. She was older than that, wasn't she?

She glanced back at Kurt, true he was ... much different from your normal person, actually hardly bearing any resemblance to a human.. Yet his voice and the way he just made her feel. He had a sense of humor and was kind.. But still would it be crazy if she was started to feel more for him than .. what would be normal? Would she be crazy for allowing herself to and even more so for enjoying that? She couldn't let her thoughts drift to this now!! After all he was a man probably of strong faith and it seemed he had more pressing .. things or people outside of the institution. Still.. his touch had been comforting, not causing any uneasiness at all.. And she wasn't sure if it ever would, no matter what.

Bella realized that she had been staring too long and she hastily glanced away, shy and confused about her own thoughts and mixed feelings. Perhaps it was just an obsession with something new. Bella was not the type to get an obsession like this - something that she was trying to solve perhaps.. But a tail, three digit hands and feet, pointy teeth, and yellow eyes? He physically looked like some kind of Halloween spook.. still she didn't see any fault in it. In actually she found all of it interesting and unique, especially the tail.

Her thoughts drifted back to these, 'gifts'. "I just wish I were able to do something that doesn't hurt somebody. I mean it's great for self defense but other than poisoning someone I can't really contribute anything - at least through my gifts. However I shouldn't complain because at least it doesn't hinder me from leading a pretty normal life. I can't imagine what poor Rogue has to go through." She let a heavy sigh fill the air and she glanced down at the ground moving beneath them.

[nightcrawler]

Kurt felt a bit of jealousy from Bella as she spoke of her ability and how useless it seemed to her. True, he could not readily see a positive need for the secretion of poison, but then again, that wasn't his purpose here. Kurt had come back to offer his services and in that he offered his best skill....that of someone willing to listen to another's problems. Thinking for a second or two, Kurt looked straight ahead and offered another outlook for Bella, hoping she would see things through different eyes, "True, you and Rogue are hindered in your abilities and by them, but at least you have ze privelage of valking among others unhindered and vithout ze strares and murming," he said, giving her a sneak peak of what he dealt with when in public. "Your mutant ability iz not ze only gift you have been given fräulein, as you have said, you vere a great singer....a talent many vould kill for," he said with a smile as he opened up another window for Bella to see out of, clearing her sight so to speak. This was the way Kurt worked, always looking for a way to cheer up others and show them the bright side of any situation, but when it came to him and his own problems, he seemed to falter in that particular ability, leaving him the emotional rollar coaster that he was.

[belladonna]

Bella would have never guessed that he would have felt any shame in his physical appearance, of course it didn't seem that he had a negative outlook on much. However his comment to her complaint proved different. She was pretty sure that he was about used to it, but even when people had come to accept things sometimes it could be a sore subject. "Or perhaps they simply stare and murmur because they want to be different, want to be like you." She offered him a smile letting him know that all attention was not bad.

She thought about his words and she nodded, "However I am not really doing anything with that talent, I haven't for years. But I guess you are right, we always take so many things for granted and it always seems greener on the other side. I guess if we don't stop and enjoy life where we are now it's our own fault we aren't satisfied." After all if their gifts were what they made of them wasn't their life the same way?

[nightcrawler]

Now it was Kurt's time for a bit of rebuke at his own self pity and his looked down upon hearing those soul shaking words, even if they were laced with sweetness. Had he not been the one to tell Bella that their gifts where what they made of them? Perhaps the "pity party" he had been throwing for himself in these latter years of his life had blinded him to the other side of that statement and maybe, it was time he stepped out of that shadow and did something about that which made him uncomfortable. "You are viser than you give yourself credit for Bella," Kurt said with a small laugh, complimenting her in a cryptic sort of way. "In my attempts to comfort you, I find myself comforted in return.....thank you," he said feeling a bit better now and filled with a new outlook on an old problem which had plagued him for far too long now.

[belladonna]

Bella smiled and nodded, taking his compliment without drawing too much attention to herself. And after all why should she? She just stated a simple fact, a possibility. And his words clearly showed that that had been one thing bothering him.. Speaking about her giving him comfort.

Before she knew what she was saying she added, "Well, I think you are amazing - all around." Well she had stated part of the things she pondered on earlier out loud and now she couldn't deny that.. But why should she? After all he deserved to know what she thought of him, especially since it was probably usually safe to assume that they didn't see him that way or appreciate him. "And it doesn't do any good if we talk to others about their problems if we never mention ours. We are our own worst critic and we can't help ourselves sometimes because we abandon logic."

[nightcrawler]

Kurt had encountered very few with such ways of looking at the world and the people there in, not since leaving his adopted mother anyway. Those here at the Institute, a few of them anyway, had taken to him and treated him as an equal, as if he were part of them, a new edition to such a family of misfits. Storm and Logan had been the quickest to be drawn to him and so in return, they were probably the most special here, in his eyes, and now Bella would find herself in that position as well, and maybe later on, if things continued to move in a certain direction, she might be "the" most important thing to him.

When Bella finished speaking, Kurt continued to walk with her in silence, letting the moment sink in and just enjoying the feel of her next to him. She was enjoyable to talk to and the when she spoke of problems and their solutions, well....it really made Kurt think and he began to wonder if this was how others felt when they sought him out for help with their trials and tribulations. "Can I show you something?," he asked Bella after a few moments of silence, "Something a bit.....personal?," he said as he fought for the right wording of his sentence. Kurt felt as if he wasn't being totally honest with Bella, holding back something of himself while she told him so much of her private life.