Clarity (Matthew)

[Laurie Collins]

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The worst thing, Laurie reflects as she nervously paces the hallway just outside the Danger Room, is that there was no time for me to see his reaction. It was just babble, kiss, POOF! I mean he looked pretty surprised but…good surprised? Grossed out surprised? Angry surprised? Crushingly-ignoring-this-crazy-girl-after-I-get-over-the-surprise surprised?. She reaches the door of the Danger Room and whirls to pace the other way again, trying not to step on cracks in the squares of tile and counting out her footsteps in an attempt to distract herself from what had just happened. Which is useless because I am the biggest basket case ever to roam the earth and do not deserve forgetfulness. She bites her lip and whirls back towards the door, one, two, three - (Oh my God I kissed him!)- four, five-(And I was probably really bad at it! Was I? I don’t remember. How do I remember the feeling of stupidity with perfect clarity and not my first kiss?)- six steps and she’s back at the door.

[/i]At least if he still likes me after all this it definitely wasn’t my pheromones back there making him… pheromones!” she turns and darts off suddenly to the Med Lab, rifling through the drawers for a moment before producing two small white mouth-and-nose masks for sterile environments and dashing back out into the hallway and smiling, momentarily pleased at the sudden innovation to aid in the probably-imminent talk until she realizes she’s grabbed two masks- one for Matthew and one for herself.

I wonder if kissing people makes your IQ drop? she wonders absently, stuffing one of the masks into her pocket and slumping to sit against the wall with her head in her hands muttering,

“I’m so bad at this.” despairingly into her palms.

[Matthew Craft]

[Immediately following Matty's elimination from CTF...which will be written shortly...and yaaay for finally getting around to being a couple-like thing!]

“Ooops...” Matthew mutters as he realizes that the world around him has changed from a steely deathtrap room/thing to the sheer metal dome of the bare Danger Room. “Great...I guess that means we didn’t win.”

Scratching his head in confusion and general annoyance at his sister for taking it upon herself to impale and thus eliminate him, Matthew heads toward the door. The massive, heavy-looking doors hiss and roll off to the sides as he wanders toward the exit, his mind not-so-much focusing on the fact that he’s been eliminated but rather Laurie’s erratic behaviour and the kiss that followed shortly there after. Wow...that was...something else.

It was as if someone poured a cup of ice water down his shirt and screamed ‘Speak of the bloody devil!’ in his ear because he freezes two steps out of the Danger Room when he spots Laurie. He had fully expected her to be gone like a shot, hiding in her room or out by the lake somewhere...since that was what he was used to when it came to her.

Matthew glances at the Danger Room, now concealed by its doors, back at Laurie and then blinks a few times. “Hey...you’re still here?” The upward inflection at the end of his statement is not intended and he immediately regrets having even started talking. He clears his throat and quickly tries to replace his unintentional question with a more intelligent response. “So...you kissed me?” Again with the questions! He grumbles inwardly at his own social stupidity before it dawns on him that his supposedly better statement was actually far worse than the one before it. “Sorry! That’s really not what I meant to say!” He waves his hands in front of him in desperate defense. “I just...sorry for letting you get hit like that...you probably wanted to win and I sort of screwed that up....And I think that this is about the right time for me to shut up since I seem to be rambling like an anti-social idiot....Not to say that I’m not! Because right now I really am and....right, shutting up.” Matthew stands like the horribly awkward teenager he’s suddenly realizes he’s become.

You’re an idiot.

[Laurie Collins]

“Hey...you’re still here?”

Laurie starts and scrambles to her feet, her heart taking off in her chest at a galloping pace so that she wonders in a dull peripheral way if her heart is going to take her out of her misery by exploding right there in her chest. But if I survived the riot and invasion I can do this…right? She concentrates on that and ignores the mental voice telling her that this is an entirely separate kind of scary, one she’s never faced, one that may just crush her like a tiny cunch-y bug.

“I am?” the squeak in her voice makes it come out as a question and she opens her mouth to reiterate with more certainty when he speaks again-

“So...you kissed me?”

That…isn’t exactly the reaction she was hoping for but before her stomach can drop more than about the equivalent of twelve floors he’s off again, apologizing and babbling and offering to shut up.

“Well if you’re quiet I have to talk and we’ve seen what that, uh, leads to.” she mutters, looking up at him and smiling shyly for a second before jerking her gaze away quickly and biting her lip, though this time it’s to contain a smile because he’s being, well, him, and it’s, well…him-ish…and him being nervous and such is a good sign right? Because he’d be calm and dismissive if he was just going to tell her off wouldn’t he? “Um, I wanted to…that is I meant to talk to you about…things… after the game, which you should not be worried about making me lose or anything by the way because I knew I wasn’t going to and didn’t care much either way I just thought it might be fun and I’d see--um. I mean, since…the music room… I’ve talked to my mom and, um, Bob, your roommate, actually and thought a lot and… oh! You should put this on!” she cuts off with that urgent exclamation and thrusts the mask out towards him.

[Matthew Craft]

“I am?”

“Um...yeah...you are...” Matthew mutters still perplexed after having found her. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Well if you’re quiet I have to talk and we’ve seen what that, uh, leads to.” He laughs nervously.

“I didn’t know you could do that, the whole yelling thing.” Matthew thumbs over his shoulder, skittish beyond belief and blushing like a mad fool. “I’m either really impressed or scared out of my mind.” He states honestly, but sporting a small smile.

“Since…the music room… I’ve talked to my mom and, um, Bob, your roommate, actually and thought a lot and… oh! You should put this on!” He blinks a the mask, then blinks at her, but says nothing. He takes the implied pheromone buffer but doesn’t put on.

“If you’re giving this to me...then you must want to talk about what I think you want to talk about.” And what Matthew’s thinking is reasonably positive, if the earlier kiss was anything to go by, but he’s careful not to get his hopes up too high. Tucking the mask into his back pocket, completely disregarding her previous suggestion that he wear it, Matthew finds a comfortable spot on the floor.

“So...yeah, you were talking to Bobby?” He’s not exactly changing the subject, but it seems like a good non-awkward place to start.

[Laurie Collins]

Laurie’s hardly been listening to him as he talks, calmly now, or at least more calmly than her (Though it isn’t as if that’s so very hard to do I suppose…) so caught up in trying to think of what to actually say to remember all those words she’d planned in her room for all those days she’d spent working up her courage. While it’s not her most attentive moment it does save her the embarrassment of hearing and having to respond to Matthew’s reference to her earlier explosion. The thing that does get her attention is that he isn’t wearing the mask she gave him and she frowns at him slightly, still trying to figure out how to feel about him trusting her that much. But I’m getting this under control. I’ll get this under control and…okay. Here goes nothing-

She opens her mouth to speak but only a slight, raspy sort of squeak comes out and it takes her a moment of blushing and throat clearing before she can start again, answering his question.

“Y-yes I did, a little and… well, um, to make a long story short he sort of reassured me that I wasn’t going to you know…take over the unsuspecting residents of the Institute and turn them into pheromone-zombies without someone noticing.” Here she cracks a small smile before continuing, “Because I guess I’m just so used to this tiny little world, just me and my mom who obviously isn’t happy about this particular brand of mutation because, um, you know, that I just sort of…I guess I just couldn’t believe it didn’t mean something terrible about me that I’d inherited it that I didn’t have to…punish myself I guess… for everything that’s happened. So maybe I was more scared than I had to be but, um, Bob sort of put it like a problem that had to be solved not some huge insurmountable fact of life and my mom reassured me about the other stuff and so, um.”

She takes another breath here because up till now it’s just been talking to Matthew-her-friend which is always relatively easy no matter how stubborn he’s being or how skittish she’s feeling or whatever’s going on between them or around them. If she keeps going with this little speech she’s not only risking all sorts of mutant-problems she’s opening up what’s probably the closest friendship she’s ever had with the first acknowledged mutant she’d ever met to a veritable emotional minefield. Oh just say it already! You’ve only known him nine months, that’s time enough to know he’s worth it isn’t it?

“So if you still want…if you’d still like to…well, uh, I think I’ve reached a non-running-and-panicking-and-avoiding-you place and I know it might be too late but I would really like to as well and…um, are you understanding any of this? Because any time you want to jump in and shut me up would be wonderful.”

[Matthew Craft]

“So maybe I was more scared than I had to be but, um, Bob sort of put it like a problem that had to be solved not some huge insurmountable fact of life and my mom reassured me about the other stuff and so, um.” Bob, I personally take back any bad remarks I have ever made about you making it snow in our room. I owe you one, dude.

“Well, I’m glad they were able to help you out.” Matthew smiles happily, overjoyed at knowing that maybe Laurie will finally be able to overcome the fear that she’s associated with her pheromones and their impact on her life.

“So if you still want…if you’d still like to…well, uh, I think I’ve reached a non-running-and-panicking-and-avoiding-you place and I know it might be too late but I would really like to as well and…um, are you understanding any of this?” There’s a moment of such pure excitement that he has a hard time concentrating for a few seconds. Did she really just say what I thought she said? To have her finally say that maybe a relationship between the two of them is actually possible even after all of her convincing him that it’s not...Matthew feels his heart skip a few beats in surprise and content.

“Because any time you want to jump in and shut me up would be wonderful.” If he was anything remotely like his sister, he would have fulfilled that request in the form of a firm kiss. But fortunately, he’s not completely like Toni, so he’s able to withstand the urge. Instead he smiles and gently takes her hand in his.

“I don’t think it’s too late.” He says calmly and quietly, despite the wide smile. “If you think that you’re up to it--and I know I am--then yeah let’s do it.” Matthew’s grin simply refuses to fade, leaving him to feel a bit like an idiot, but he’s too elated to really care. He gives her hand a little squeeze. “I’m willing to wait though, if you think that would better. You don't need to rush into this just because of me, or if you think you should or anything. If you need some time, then I have no problem with that.” He adds more seriously, just in case she was having any doubts or hesitancies, seeing as how this would be her first romantic relationship.

[Laurie Collins]

“I don’t think it’s too late.”

The words are almost lost to her in the rush of pinpricks as he takes her hand and she diverts a large portion of her attention to wondering if her hand is sweaty, if she looks startled, if she should squeeze his hand, curl her fingers, do anything at all. Oh, she thinks rather distantly, I understand now, all the energy that should be IQ points goes straight to the nerve endings. That’s how it works. And then before she can register how completely stupid that thought was he’s speaking again and grinning.

“If you think that you’re up to it--and I know I am--then yeah let’s do it.”

Her face brightens into a grin that matches his and when he squeezes her hand again she bites her lip to contain it, a bit afraid that her face might actually split. She’s emitting thrilled, fluttery, relieved pheromones in her exhilaration and can’t stop herself, can’t even bring herself to care too much, completely oblivious to his careful words about waiting for her as she nods fervently and takes a cautious step closer. Though “yeah let’s do it” is hardly the most romantic way to ask a girl out she could obviously care less and is trying to compose a response as she goes along, caught somewhere between doing a ridiculous gleeful jig and new levels of shyness.

“I’m emitting.” she says quietly, a warning without the usual mortified apology, he has the mask after all, he could put it on. “I’m going to learn to control it better though, really control it not just bottle it up that is, but for now at least it makes it sort of obvious…” she cuts off with a slight blush and returns the squeeze he’d given her hand a moment ago.

Here we go then…

(I’m thinking we could end it around here?)